Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween...

I'm starting day 3 of solo parenting... actually, day 3.5 if you want to be technical. I was called on Wednesday morning to come pick Seth up from daycare as he was running a temp of 101.8. Awesomeness. Aaron had been home on Monday with Nolan because he had a fever on Sunday. I had the time available, and was able to arrange coverage so I went ahead and picked him up. I ended up staying home Thursday and Friday as well because Aaron's work was crazy busy and he didn't feel comfortable not going in, as they were shorthanded.

Seth's fever finally- FINALLY broke yesterday morning. I haven't medicated him for a fever since Thursday night. Speaking of Thursday night, I took Nolan to children's hospital. That was the day of the disastrous dr. appt for his ADHD. When we got home, I left and met my sister and Ashley for dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory. When I got home from that around 8:30 Nolan had just gone to bed, I went in to say prayers with him and give him a kiss, and he complained that his tummy hurt.

Now, the last few weeks he has become a master manipulator at bedtime. Trying to distract us with questions, observations, etc when it's time for bed. He has resorted to having to go potty after we've already put him to bed, which enrages Aaron to no end, so my first thought was that he was stalling, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Turns out, he did have a tummy ache. It went from mild complaining, to grunting and not being able to sit still, to writhing and crying, to all out pacing and screaming "Make it stop! Make it stop!" It was about an hour and a half total time while this was going on. I called the consulting nurse hotline for our doctor's office as I went up to the grocery store to get some gas medicine. I wasn't sure what I was going to get, but I figured it was probably gas pains he was having.

The consulting nurse said to take him in, that 15 minutes of stomach pain is when they reccommend the child to be seen, and it had been going on at this point for almost 2 hours. I went home and Aaron had him laying on the couch (which we hadn't been able to get him to do prior to that; I wanted to put a warm compress on his tummy, but he couldn't hold still.) He was pale and silent; almost asleep, though he was sweaty. Aaron said it got really bad while I was gone, he was freaking Aaron out, and he doesn't usually get too rattled. He said his chest hurt and his tummy hurt. But in a flash, it seemed like whatever he was feeling, passed. I made him get up and walk around and he was being his normal funny self, so we figured screw it. Aaron set up the aerobed so I could camp out with Nolan in the front room; and keep an eye on him, and we figured that would be fine.

I called my mom a little while later and while we were on the phone his tummy started hurting again. He started crying and grunting, so we put his shoes on and I got dressed, and off to Children's we went. It was about a 25 minute drive, the first ten he cried and hollered and then he fell asleep. Once we got to Children's, he was totally fine. I still had him checked out, we were there about an hour or so, and they proclaimed it probably just gas. He was totally fine, so they didn't run any tests, he responded favorably to the physical exam... so apparently he just had some kind of indigestion. Next time, they said we could try maalox, and it should help.

Thankfully he was fine, but man it was really scary there for a bit. Today is the third day because Aaron is fixing his car down at my sister's house with my uncle; the heater core or something went out, and seeing as how cold it's starting to get, he needs to get it fixed. But man, I am ITCHING to get out of this house and back to work!

Friday, October 30, 2009


So, yeah. Nolan was diagnosed yesterday with ADHD. Am I surprised? No. Am I relieved? No. Am I Sad? Kind of. I am also worried, afraid and exhausted. This lovable, smart, curious and busy boy has always been intense. He's always been feast or famine... and when I say feast or famine I mean HOLY SHIT THAT'S A TON OF FOOD LET'S EAT TILL OUR GUTS POP feast and OHMYGODIMGONNADIEIMSOHUNGRYWHYDOYOUHATEMEJUSTFEEDMEONEMORSELJUSTONEMORSEL famine. He's never been a middle of the road kind of kid.

He's also always been demanding, stubborn, willful and insistent. In good and not so good ways. But in the last year, and actually, in the last month, I have kind of woken up out of the fog I was in, and realized that there is indeed a problem. What may or may not have been obvious to everyone else, was not so obvious to me. Some of the things I'd always chalked up to personality traits, may in fact, not be personality traits.

Our home is like a warzone sometimes. A lot of the time actually. A lot of yelling, fighting, frustration, punishments... and it's usually between Nolan and I or Nolan and Aaron. Not that Seth doesn't get his fair share in, or that he isn't all too happy to participate when Nolan's decided that life is boring and he needs to run around the condo throwing things, shrieking 'nnneeeeeeeehhhhhaaaaawwwwww!!!!!!' and generally causing total chaos. But more often than not, It's Nolan vs. the household.

When he was younger, I didn't really think his behavior was all that out of the ordinary. Maybe it wasn't... I'm not sure. Like I said, he's always been intense. But when my parents came and stayed the weekend with us in the beginning of October, it was one of the first real wake up calls I've had. I mean the suspicions were there for a loooong time under the surface. I'd even spoken to my mom and sister and friends about some of the issues Aaron and I were dealing with when it came to Mr. Nolan. But having my mom and dad here for 3 days, bearing witness to what we deal with day in and day out... I realized how embarassing it was to have a child who didn't listen to us AT ALL. Who ran around like a wild banshee doing whatever he pleased, who attacked his brother any time he felt wronged...Normally it's mostly frustrating, but with witnesses it's down right embarassing. I also realized how damn exhausted we are all the time from being in fight mode 24/7.

So I did some googling and some reading... my suspicion being that he had ADHD. And when I read the symptoms of the Hyperactive Type and Impulsive Type it was like a description of Nolan. I read the symptoms in the DSM-IV and sure enough. He also has some signs of Oppositional Defiance Disorder, but the main concern at this point is the ADHD.

Anyhoo, I contacted the doctor's office, they gave us some forms to fill out, and to have his teachers fill out. We returned them and they got us in the next week. (Yesterday)... and awesomely enough, he chose that hour to be the craziest he's ever been. Turning the lights on and off while we were speaking to the doctor, throwing things in the office, turning the faucet on at the handwashing station and flinging water at his brother, running in circles, opening and slamming the door, screaming, etc etc etc. It was so fucking stressful, I can't even begin to put into words how I felt when we left.

Ultimately, it was a good thing that he put himself on display like that, the doctor saw exactly what we deal with day in and day out, though admittedly, he was operating on a level we had previously only glimpsed. The doc said basically after reading the questionnaires and observing him, it was pretty much a slam dunk. He said he understood it felt like we were in crisis mode, but that there was hope and there was stuff we could do.

I told him the stuff I've tried already... enrolling him in soccer, positive reinforcement, constant redirecting/encouragement, taking him off dairy products, removing food coloring and preservatives from his diet... bladdy bladdy bladdy. He suggested medication, and though it scares the living shit out of me to put him on medication for this, I agreed to try. I am at my wits end, and I am tired of yelling, tired of screaming, tired of spanking, tired of taking toys away... I'm tired of him saying "I was bad mom?" when he has to go to bed early. I always tell him "no, you weren't bad, you just need to make better choices."

Anyway. We are focusing on the ADHD portion of his behavior right now, with the hope that the Oppositional stuff will kind of fade a bit. The doctor says that many times, you get in such a battle of wills, and the child is so tired of being in trouble or being redirected, they become completely defiant as a coping mechanism. His hope is that if we can get Nolan chilled out a little bit, some of that defiance will start to crumble and our parenting will be all the more effective. I really fucking hope so.

I love this boy so much it hurts. I want him to do well, I KNOW he can do well, he is so bright and has so much to offer. I just want to make it easier for him to find his way.


Wednesday, October 14, 2009



My sister posted this to my flickr stream and I was AMAZED at how much miss Natalie looks like her mama and her papa. I'll have to try to find pics to compare.

Monday, October 05, 2009

The Haps

Long time no blog. I know right? It's been a busy busy couple of weeks, months, summer, etc.

This past week or two sure was a humdinger. My new niece who turned a whole month old last weekend (wtf is THAT about?! Time is flying!) gave us all a scare. If you've been following me on twitter, you know what's going on. I may not blog much, but I twitter all the time.

To make a long story short, my sister noticed that Natalie was not able to keep down her bottles. She was continually forcefully vomiting her bottles up shortly after eating. She was gassy and fussy and not the happy laid back baby she had been previously. There were many trips to the doctor in a short period of time, a trip to Mary Bridge Hospital and even more trips after that to the doc. And Nothing changed. New formula didn't work, special formula didn't work, meds didn't work, nothing.

Finally Laurie had had enough of the go around and took her to Children's Hospital last Monday night. They were stumped at first too, but within 24 hours had diagnosed her with Pyloric Stenosis and a few hours later she was in surgery for the very correctable problem. They went home on Wednesday afternoon and she has returned to being the chill, awesome baby she was before this whole mess. Thank God.

Anyhoo, here are some pictures...

Guess who started Soccer this year?








Seth amused himself by hiding in the goal

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Last Batch

Jessica and her son Andrew, he is my godson. he will be twelve next month. TWELVE.

the new family, Andrew, Jess and Kevin.

Not sure why, but I love this picture of us.


All of the bride's wedding party came down this rocky path to start the ceremony


The ceremony was literally less than 10 minutes. Aaron wasn't able to get a picture of Nolan coming down the stairs because as soon as I came down, Seth made a beeline for me and when Aaron intercepted him ... well, to put it mildly, he freaked the eff out. Then when Nolan got to the bottom of the path and didn't see me he promptly wigged out himself. Cathy went over and walked him up the aisle as he bawled, no pics yet, I'm hoping that the wedding photog got some though.

Even though the ceremony was short, it was lovely. They couldn't have picked a more perfect spot to get married.


The table centerpieces had rocks and the boys were all about counting them. and then fighting over who had more.


I crack her up ;)



I think this is hilarious, the bride and groom getting direction from the bride's ex boyfriend on cutting the cake. too funny!