Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Good Riddance '09

Here is my version of the New year's quiz that Sundry did. Last year's entry is hither.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? I hosted some sleepovers at my house with the parentals, I went camping with my boys, I got the boys to actually ENJOY playing in a pool. Became an Auntie to a NIECE! Baked bread successfully from scratch. Moved the boys both to big boy beds. We attempted to sell our condo (never done that before!) and failed, but will try again sometime soon.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Last year's were: I would like to yell at my kids less, lose weight, get healthy, and fit into my old pants. Excuse me while I stifle a sob... I did not keep any of those damn resolutions. I think this year I will post my resolutions on the fridge, on the bathroom mirror, and anywhere else I can figure out where to put them so I don't forget them. My resolutions are as follows:
*LOSE WEIGHT. (for serious. This shizz has gotten completely out of hand.)
*Run a 5k. Participate in at least 3 5Ks, but run an entire one once.
*Become a gentler parent... less yelling, more leading by example.
*No more wasting time on the computer before 7pm on weeknights.
*Hit the books and get Nolan ready for Kindergarten.
*Give up sweets. (oy.)
*Work out 6 days a week.
*Pay down our debts in a BIG way.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes! My sissy had a baby girl, a long awaited, much wished for baby girl to complete our brood of boys. One of my best friends also had a baby this summer, and it was a much wished for baby boy. It was a good year.

4. Did anyone close to you die? My dear friend Sandra passed away after 9 long months of fighting for her life. We weren't the kind of friends who spoke every day or every week. But we kept in touch, made attempts at getting together, and when we did get together it was as if no time had gone by at all. She was the first friend I've ever had who passed away, and it has rocked me to my core. I think about her every single day, and play the song that was played at her funeral just about every single day. My heart broke a little bit when she died, and to be honest, I'm still kind of waiting for her to call me up and tell me what a pussy I am for not wanting to go watch a scary movie with her and Toni.

I also had an uncle die right around the same time, and that was unexpected and very sad as well.

5. What countries did you visit? The good ol' U.S. of A.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? a yard, more square footage... a waistline. (whaddya know, same answer as last year!) and also, I would like a little more leeway when it comes to finances.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? November 2nd. The day that Sandra passed away. June 1, the day that I finished my in training plan at work and became a full fledged permanent state employee. November 6, the day that Aaron and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Decluttering and getting rid of all kinds of stuff after we took the house off the market. It felt great to have less 'stuff'. Oooh, and I was one of a team of 8 or 9 I think to win an award for being a team at work. It was pretty awesome.

9. What was your biggest failure? The inability to stop shoving anything and everything down my pie hole, and thus, gaining a ridonkulous amount of weight this year. Ugh.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? The worst thing I had this year was a 'mono like virus' back in July. That was absolutely hideous.

11. What was the best thing you bought? My iphone. I love that thing more than I thought I ever would. I also would have to say the Sookie Stackhouse novels, as those brought many many hours of entertainment.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Hmm... not sure. Maybe President Obama... for showing the world that Americans can and do posess grace and dignity. We are not all just idiot rednecks with a strange agenda.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? The few hideous excuses for human beings who have managed to kill 6 law enforcement officers in our area in just the past 3 months. So very sad.

14. Where did most of your money go? daycare. mortgage. the usual.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The Sookie Stackhouse books, Obama's inauguration, the birth of my niece!

16. What song will always remind you of 2009? Forever by Chris Brown, Anything by Lady Gaga.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? I would say it's a draw, but I am much more optimistic.
b) thinner or fatter? sadly, fatter.
c) richer or poorer? poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? More outside time with the boys in the summer. More outings and I wish we'd actually gone biking. (EXACT SAME ANSWER AS LAST YEAR)... oh and I wish I'd exercised more, and also exercised more self control when it came to eating shit food.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? yelling and eating.

20. How did you spend Christmas? Christmas eve was spent at home with Nolan who was running a 103.6 temp... Aaron and Seth went to Aaron's mom's. Christmas morning was spent at home, and then the rest of the day was spent at my sister's with my family and my aunt and cousin. The day after Christmas was spent at my Aunt's house.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? My answer last year was: Yes. With Edward. ... This year I'd have to say it was with Jacob (as I reread the books AGAIN and man alive, I was rooting for Jacob even though I knew the outcome.)... oh and with Eric Northman and Vampire Bill as well.

22. What was your favorite TV program? Probably Sixteen and Pregnant, Teen Mom and Say Yes to the Dress.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No... I can honestly say I dont' hate anyone.

24. What was the best book you read? The Sookie Stackhouse Series.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Lady Gaga. I love her music.

26. What did you want and get? A niece!!!! A better movie for New Moon than what we got for Twilight.

27. What did you want and not get? to my goal weight.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? The Hangover. For serious. If you haven't seen it, see it. It was HILARIOUS. Also loved the Proposal.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 32, and we went to the Mandarin for some good old fashioned drunk Karaoke. It was awesome.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? To have lost the weight. blah blah blah.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Dark solid covers, layers and stretchy pants.

32. What kept you sane? coffee. and facebook.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Ryan Reynolds, Bradley Cooper and for some reason, Hugh Grant. Hugh is a recent development.

34. What political issue stirred you the most? Probably health care reform... and the push for people to immunize EVERYONE for H1N1... gah.

35. Who did you miss? my grandma. my grandpa. my other grandma. Sandra.

36. Who was the best new person you met? well, I met them in 2007 when I began working at the AG's... but Lauretta, Liz and Victoria have all become good friends this year. I love them!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009. That good things do happen to good people, that the truth will set you free, and/or get you your job back, that life is so incredibly fragile and that with family you can weather anything.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
sweet obscenity
didn't i know it
didn't i call her name
tiger lily girl
standin' cross-eyed in the corner
tiger lily girl
standin toungue tied in the corner
somethin' in her eye
tells that i should try
somethin' she might say
tells right away
somethin' in her eye
didn't i know it
didn't i call her name
tiger lily girl...

-Tiger Lily by Luna (Song they played at Sandra's Funeral)

Friday, December 18, 2009

Before I throw the knitting needles across the room...

Can someone who knits a lot help me out here? I am trying to knit a pair of fingerless mitts... I need something for those cold mornings when I am waiting for the train, but still want to be able to use my phone.


I am following a pattern from a book I've had for a while and the pattern wants me to increase 2 stitches... the actual instructions say this:

'Increase 2 stitches (Inc2) Insert left needle into st below st just created, lift and k into this st, insert right needle into st below next st on the left needle and k this st.'


Since when do you knit using the left needle? and which st is the st below? the one parallel to the floor or the one that is sort of between the needles?

Can someone help me figure this out? It would be much appreciated!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


there is now officially nothing hanging on the bottom half of the tree thanks to Asa the fucker. He's either broken the ornaments, ripped the threaded hangy bobber thing out of the bulbs or I have moved the nicer ones. Oh and the red beaded garland is also trashed. He is so not awesome.
Randomness with a Quickness

*yawn* I woke up at 3:15 this morning with Sethy sleeping on my feet, kind of draped across the bed. I asked him what was wrong and he said "mon-thta'th comin" (monsters coming)... I said "are you scared" He nodded and said "Mon-thta'th gonna git me". Poor buddy, he was petrified. He was also incredibly groggy and sweet so I let him stay. Until 4:25 or so when I was all SCREW THIS. I took him back to his bed (neither one of us had fallen back asleep) and gave him a pep talk about how there are no monsters and how mommy and daddy will keep him safe blah blah blah. I left his closet light on for peace of mind and he conked out pretty quickly. I get up usually at a quarter to five so I've been wide awake since 3:15.

I've also had two cups of espresso today. I haven't blinked in an hour.



Our finished gingerbread house... I did 90% of it, the boys were much more interested in taste testing the candy. (For the record, they love gum drops, the red hots "bite my tongue" according to Nolan and as always, the m&ms passed with flying colors.)... had I known it would have been a solo endeavor, I would have done it to my tastes exactly. Maybe next year I'll buy my own :)



My favorite Christmas Decoration... Seth was afraid of it as a baby, but now both he and Nolan won't leave the damn thing alone.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Christmas 'round these parts

*yawn* Hi there. Long time no see. I don't know what my deal is about not updating, LAZY! Actually, my ahem, virtual farming has taken over my blogging time. I know I know... I used to openly mock anyone who played farmville and totally never thought I would get sucked in. I blame my parents, I am totally hooked. HOOKED! I was talking to some of my friends on Friday night at Holly's birthday party (incidentally, they are all farmville friends as well. Anyway, we were laughing at how geeky it is, how we plan our lives around our crops and such. Anyway, it's a sad excuse, but that's what I've been up to.

Oh and getting ready for Christmas. I am officially done shopping as of today. Thank God for Aaron's work, who have a program where he can trade in his safety tokens (they get them for being injury free, etc. every so often, and he collects them from other people as well who don't want them) ... he was able to trade them in for a $250 gift card to Walmart.

Without that nice little gift card, we probably wouldn't have been able to buy for the nieces and nephews. We are not exchanging this year (Aaron and I) but we have gotten the boys some cool stuff. It's all about them anyway, and we are thinking we might splurge in January and go shopping for ourselves.

I do this every year (I think), but here are some pics of our favorite ornaments.

These are new to the tree this year:

Got this last year after Christmas at Target, LOVE it!

I am in love with these little penguins!!! Got this last month at Bartells.

I just love it

I got this one at Bartells too.

This little guy was a gift from a coworker last year. He has been living in my nylon drawer for the past year and Nolan has been OBSESSED with him. He has asked to play with it at least 50 times since last year.

Ice Cube snowmen from last year's Target after Christmas clearance.

cute little penguin photo frame from Target's Dollar aisle this year

Nolan's ornament for this year, I have them pick out an ornament each year (starting last year) and this was his choice.

This was Sethy's choice.

Older Ornaments

This was Seth's from last year

This was Nolan's from last year

Either last year or the year before, we had a smaller bulb like this from our honeymoon in NYC and those heathens that I birthed somehow shattered it. My mom and dad tracked this one down on the internet and got it for us. It goes up nice and high on the tree now.

I think I got this at Target 2 years ago, I love me some penguins.

an angel my mom made several years ago. She's the only one I have left.

I had an ornament exactly like this my whole childhood, and when I was in high school, someone robbed our storage unit and all of our christmas ornaments were taken. The handmade stuff my mom made in girl scouts, the hand made stuff I made in girl scouts. The babies first christmas ornaments for my sister and I... just thinking about it makes me sick. Anyway, my sister knew how upset I was and when she spotted this at the daycare we worked at, she asked if she could buy it from the teacher who had it (she used it on her in class tree) and I believe she just gave it to her. She gave it to me, and I have kept it on my tree ever since. I love it.

A gift when I was pregnant with Nolan
a gift from Lori I think, when I was pregnant with Nolan

Honeymoon ornament
The Jamaica ornament we got on our honeymoon

Seths first Christmas ornament
Sethy's first Christmas Ornament

Nolans first Christmas ornament
Nolan's first ornament

Wedding ornament
Ornament we bought the year we got married

My Great Grandma Made This
My great grandma made this one, I adore this ornament.

A gift from Ashley
Ashley gave me this a long time ago. I ♥ it.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

My heart hurts.

Rough day all around. Sad. Stressful. Not my most stellar parenting today... and getting Nolan to go to bed tonight was exhausting to say the very least.

I went over to Sandra's Remembrance Site and there is a gallery of pictures on the right hand side of the page. I was at first saddened to see the pic below, but now I am so thankful someone posted it. That's Sandra making a kissy face at Seth and Seth is being held by one of my most favoritist kids (except she's not a kid anymore) from my daycare days - Alecz.

Since we became moms, we hardly had a chance to get together anymore, in fact; the last time we were supposed to meet up (which was the first time in a long time) was the day before she went in the hospital with the SJS.

Her funeral is Saturday, ironically at the same time as my uncle's. I am choosing to go to hers; I hope my aunt understands. I need some closure to this... I need to hear the stories and see the pictures from happier times, so I don't remember my last visit with her in harborview as the way she was, because she was so much more than that. So much.


Tuesday, November 03, 2009

So Sad.

My friend Sandra passed away yesterday. I am so sad for her... for her husband, and most of all for her daughter. She's 3 1/2 and hasn't had her mom around for the past 9 months, and now will never truly know how awesome her mom was.

Sandra and Adrianna Eunhae at her baby shower.


Sandra... not sure where I got this picture from, I think it was emailed shortly after she and her husband adopted Adrianna.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

I'll Take Rage for $200 Alex.

*sigh* Today is day 3 of the meds (he's on Focalin XR)... it has definitely improved the crazy all over the place, driven by a machine kind of behavior. But it has left a sullen, angry and sad boy in it's place.

Granted, we are only on day 3, but he is not bubbly, or happy, or interactive much ... he plays by himself, and goes from 0 to pissed in mere seconds; exploding with screaming or occasionally exploding violently towards his brother (usually it's provoked, but still; kind of startling.)

He seems like a little dark cloud, and it's breaking my heart. He just sits on the couch looking so forlorn and depressed. I'm going to call the doctor tommorrow and we go back in on Thursday to check in, I'm hoping he's just adjusting and it'll work itself out. I just don't know. The meds definitely start to wear off around the 11/12 hour mark... not only does the pinball like behavior come back in, but so does his sunshine. Smiling, playing, chattering happily... almost makes the pinball stuff worth it.

Yesterday, I had to get on him about sharing (he was hoarding like a bazillion cars and wouldn't let Seth play with any of them) ... after arguing back and forth I finally said he was either going to share or he would have a time out. He screamed "NO!" at me, and I told him to go to his room for a time out. He refused, so I helped him (picked him up and took him there) and he started screaming "SHUT UP! SHUT UP FUCKER!" yeah. A. He has never told me to shut up. B. he's never called me a fucker. He hasn't used bad language in a long time actually... I was shocked. We had a few more bouts of him telling me to shut up, and such but he didn't say fucker again.

The meds make it so he doesn't nap anymore either, which really isn't a big deal since he's chilled out.

But the sadness is hard to watch. REALLY hard to watch. I'm so hoping he adjusts and my happy boy comes back.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween...

I'm starting day 3 of solo parenting... actually, day 3.5 if you want to be technical. I was called on Wednesday morning to come pick Seth up from daycare as he was running a temp of 101.8. Awesomeness. Aaron had been home on Monday with Nolan because he had a fever on Sunday. I had the time available, and was able to arrange coverage so I went ahead and picked him up. I ended up staying home Thursday and Friday as well because Aaron's work was crazy busy and he didn't feel comfortable not going in, as they were shorthanded.

Seth's fever finally- FINALLY broke yesterday morning. I haven't medicated him for a fever since Thursday night. Speaking of Thursday night, I took Nolan to children's hospital. That was the day of the disastrous dr. appt for his ADHD. When we got home, I left and met my sister and Ashley for dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory. When I got home from that around 8:30 Nolan had just gone to bed, I went in to say prayers with him and give him a kiss, and he complained that his tummy hurt.

Now, the last few weeks he has become a master manipulator at bedtime. Trying to distract us with questions, observations, etc when it's time for bed. He has resorted to having to go potty after we've already put him to bed, which enrages Aaron to no end, so my first thought was that he was stalling, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Turns out, he did have a tummy ache. It went from mild complaining, to grunting and not being able to sit still, to writhing and crying, to all out pacing and screaming "Make it stop! Make it stop!" It was about an hour and a half total time while this was going on. I called the consulting nurse hotline for our doctor's office as I went up to the grocery store to get some gas medicine. I wasn't sure what I was going to get, but I figured it was probably gas pains he was having.

The consulting nurse said to take him in, that 15 minutes of stomach pain is when they reccommend the child to be seen, and it had been going on at this point for almost 2 hours. I went home and Aaron had him laying on the couch (which we hadn't been able to get him to do prior to that; I wanted to put a warm compress on his tummy, but he couldn't hold still.) He was pale and silent; almost asleep, though he was sweaty. Aaron said it got really bad while I was gone, he was freaking Aaron out, and he doesn't usually get too rattled. He said his chest hurt and his tummy hurt. But in a flash, it seemed like whatever he was feeling, passed. I made him get up and walk around and he was being his normal funny self, so we figured screw it. Aaron set up the aerobed so I could camp out with Nolan in the front room; and keep an eye on him, and we figured that would be fine.

I called my mom a little while later and while we were on the phone his tummy started hurting again. He started crying and grunting, so we put his shoes on and I got dressed, and off to Children's we went. It was about a 25 minute drive, the first ten he cried and hollered and then he fell asleep. Once we got to Children's, he was totally fine. I still had him checked out, we were there about an hour or so, and they proclaimed it probably just gas. He was totally fine, so they didn't run any tests, he responded favorably to the physical exam... so apparently he just had some kind of indigestion. Next time, they said we could try maalox, and it should help.

Thankfully he was fine, but man it was really scary there for a bit. Today is the third day because Aaron is fixing his car down at my sister's house with my uncle; the heater core or something went out, and seeing as how cold it's starting to get, he needs to get it fixed. But man, I am ITCHING to get out of this house and back to work!

Friday, October 30, 2009


So, yeah. Nolan was diagnosed yesterday with ADHD. Am I surprised? No. Am I relieved? No. Am I Sad? Kind of. I am also worried, afraid and exhausted. This lovable, smart, curious and busy boy has always been intense. He's always been feast or famine... and when I say feast or famine I mean HOLY SHIT THAT'S A TON OF FOOD LET'S EAT TILL OUR GUTS POP feast and OHMYGODIMGONNADIEIMSOHUNGRYWHYDOYOUHATEMEJUSTFEEDMEONEMORSELJUSTONEMORSEL famine. He's never been a middle of the road kind of kid.

He's also always been demanding, stubborn, willful and insistent. In good and not so good ways. But in the last year, and actually, in the last month, I have kind of woken up out of the fog I was in, and realized that there is indeed a problem. What may or may not have been obvious to everyone else, was not so obvious to me. Some of the things I'd always chalked up to personality traits, may in fact, not be personality traits.

Our home is like a warzone sometimes. A lot of the time actually. A lot of yelling, fighting, frustration, punishments... and it's usually between Nolan and I or Nolan and Aaron. Not that Seth doesn't get his fair share in, or that he isn't all too happy to participate when Nolan's decided that life is boring and he needs to run around the condo throwing things, shrieking 'nnneeeeeeeehhhhhaaaaawwwwww!!!!!!' and generally causing total chaos. But more often than not, It's Nolan vs. the household.

When he was younger, I didn't really think his behavior was all that out of the ordinary. Maybe it wasn't... I'm not sure. Like I said, he's always been intense. But when my parents came and stayed the weekend with us in the beginning of October, it was one of the first real wake up calls I've had. I mean the suspicions were there for a loooong time under the surface. I'd even spoken to my mom and sister and friends about some of the issues Aaron and I were dealing with when it came to Mr. Nolan. But having my mom and dad here for 3 days, bearing witness to what we deal with day in and day out... I realized how embarassing it was to have a child who didn't listen to us AT ALL. Who ran around like a wild banshee doing whatever he pleased, who attacked his brother any time he felt wronged...Normally it's mostly frustrating, but with witnesses it's down right embarassing. I also realized how damn exhausted we are all the time from being in fight mode 24/7.

So I did some googling and some reading... my suspicion being that he had ADHD. And when I read the symptoms of the Hyperactive Type and Impulsive Type it was like a description of Nolan. I read the symptoms in the DSM-IV and sure enough. He also has some signs of Oppositional Defiance Disorder, but the main concern at this point is the ADHD.

Anyhoo, I contacted the doctor's office, they gave us some forms to fill out, and to have his teachers fill out. We returned them and they got us in the next week. (Yesterday)... and awesomely enough, he chose that hour to be the craziest he's ever been. Turning the lights on and off while we were speaking to the doctor, throwing things in the office, turning the faucet on at the handwashing station and flinging water at his brother, running in circles, opening and slamming the door, screaming, etc etc etc. It was so fucking stressful, I can't even begin to put into words how I felt when we left.

Ultimately, it was a good thing that he put himself on display like that, the doctor saw exactly what we deal with day in and day out, though admittedly, he was operating on a level we had previously only glimpsed. The doc said basically after reading the questionnaires and observing him, it was pretty much a slam dunk. He said he understood it felt like we were in crisis mode, but that there was hope and there was stuff we could do.

I told him the stuff I've tried already... enrolling him in soccer, positive reinforcement, constant redirecting/encouragement, taking him off dairy products, removing food coloring and preservatives from his diet... bladdy bladdy bladdy. He suggested medication, and though it scares the living shit out of me to put him on medication for this, I agreed to try. I am at my wits end, and I am tired of yelling, tired of screaming, tired of spanking, tired of taking toys away... I'm tired of him saying "I was bad mom?" when he has to go to bed early. I always tell him "no, you weren't bad, you just need to make better choices."

Anyway. We are focusing on the ADHD portion of his behavior right now, with the hope that the Oppositional stuff will kind of fade a bit. The doctor says that many times, you get in such a battle of wills, and the child is so tired of being in trouble or being redirected, they become completely defiant as a coping mechanism. His hope is that if we can get Nolan chilled out a little bit, some of that defiance will start to crumble and our parenting will be all the more effective. I really fucking hope so.

I love this boy so much it hurts. I want him to do well, I KNOW he can do well, he is so bright and has so much to offer. I just want to make it easier for him to find his way.


Wednesday, October 14, 2009



My sister posted this to my flickr stream and I was AMAZED at how much miss Natalie looks like her mama and her papa. I'll have to try to find pics to compare.

Monday, October 05, 2009

The Haps

Long time no blog. I know right? It's been a busy busy couple of weeks, months, summer, etc.

This past week or two sure was a humdinger. My new niece who turned a whole month old last weekend (wtf is THAT about?! Time is flying!) gave us all a scare. If you've been following me on twitter, you know what's going on. I may not blog much, but I twitter all the time.

To make a long story short, my sister noticed that Natalie was not able to keep down her bottles. She was continually forcefully vomiting her bottles up shortly after eating. She was gassy and fussy and not the happy laid back baby she had been previously. There were many trips to the doctor in a short period of time, a trip to Mary Bridge Hospital and even more trips after that to the doc. And Nothing changed. New formula didn't work, special formula didn't work, meds didn't work, nothing.

Finally Laurie had had enough of the go around and took her to Children's Hospital last Monday night. They were stumped at first too, but within 24 hours had diagnosed her with Pyloric Stenosis and a few hours later she was in surgery for the very correctable problem. They went home on Wednesday afternoon and she has returned to being the chill, awesome baby she was before this whole mess. Thank God.

Anyhoo, here are some pictures...

Guess who started Soccer this year?








Seth amused himself by hiding in the goal

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Last Batch

Jessica and her son Andrew, he is my godson. he will be twelve next month. TWELVE.

the new family, Andrew, Jess and Kevin.

Not sure why, but I love this picture of us.


All of the bride's wedding party came down this rocky path to start the ceremony


The ceremony was literally less than 10 minutes. Aaron wasn't able to get a picture of Nolan coming down the stairs because as soon as I came down, Seth made a beeline for me and when Aaron intercepted him ... well, to put it mildly, he freaked the eff out. Then when Nolan got to the bottom of the path and didn't see me he promptly wigged out himself. Cathy went over and walked him up the aisle as he bawled, no pics yet, I'm hoping that the wedding photog got some though.

Even though the ceremony was short, it was lovely. They couldn't have picked a more perfect spot to get married.


The table centerpieces had rocks and the boys were all about counting them. and then fighting over who had more.


I crack her up ;)



I think this is hilarious, the bride and groom getting direction from the bride's ex boyfriend on cutting the cake. too funny!