Friday, August 19, 2005


I could tell you I'm tired again, but that's getting a bit redundant don'tcha think? Why don't I complain about being wet? Here's something I may or may not have shared before. I hate feeling soggy/wet... touching things that should not normally be soggy or wet... specifically clothes/blankets etc. That said, this spit up business is for the fucking birds. I am MOTHERFUCKING TIRED of getting projectile vomited on. I don't think it's actually vomit... half the time the fucking milk hasn't settled in his tummy enough to even be spit up. I am tired of being the only one (ok, so my mom got it once) that gets to be on the receiving end of this shit. Doctor says to burp more often, so I burp more often. Do you think it fucking helps? No, it really doesn't. In fact, every motherfucking burp is accompanied by a few tablespoons or more of hot slimy stomach acid and milk. yum. Add to the fact that because it's hot here; I am often in a tank top. I am sick of it hitting my chest and sliding down into my bra, hitting my shoulder and sliding down the back of my arm, or down the front and under my armpit. I'm tired of it getting in my hair. Tired of changing my fucking clothes more than I have to change Nolan's.

Have I mentioned that I'm tired of it?

I am going to mention this to the doc next week at his 8 week appt, but I am hesitant to push for meds for this (doc said before that it was most likely reflux), because I'm not exactly sure if it aggravates me more than it is a problem for his health. Granted, we've had more fussing when he's nursing, arching his back, pulling away... he gets genuinely pissed off; but still gives the feeding cues, and will nurse and nurse and nurse if I let him... probably because he's barfing up a lot of it.

and might I mention that it's not exactly my cup of tea to be attached to a little person 24 fucking hours a day? This is some bullshit.

That said, I am not ready to throw in the towel on breastfeeding. Number one, I am kind of proud that he's never had formula. I am proud that I've overcome the discomfort and that he's thriving, and that I am doing what I had planned on doing while I was pregnant. Number two, even if I was ready to throw in the towel, I'm a cheap motherfucker and formula is expensive. It would take quite a lot at this point for me to want to formula feed... mainly because breastfeeding is working just fine for us. I am just sick of being puked on, and sick of the marathon nursing when it seems like he is not interested in eating but pissed off if I take him off. (also: binky gets us nowhere in those situations, still gets upset and gives feeding cues.) I have also tried mylicon drops every now and then, but it barely helps the fussing, pulling away.

anyhoo. enough bitching.

Nolan had his first shower the other night, and contrary to what I thought might happen, he really seemed to like it. He was calm and pleasant and didn't get upset till he was wrapped up in his towel. I think it was the fact that he was being held during the shower; he felt safe.

anyhoo, how about some pictures/

Nolan loves to stand; he gets the funniest expressions when he does.

Nolan all bundled up in the baby jogger before our walk the other day. 90 degrees one day, 58 degrees the next. Nice.

Ben normally can't stand the sight of Nolan, but here he was all snuggled up with a soft blanket on the couch, and he couldn't help himself.

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