Friday, May 27, 2005


Man. We did not get half the shit I wanted to get done, done last night. Though we did hook up the dvd player and watch half of urban cowboy before we fell asleep, and also picked up a pantry shelf at walmart. It was also mighty fucking hot last night. The cats were so uncomfortable; they were all laying on the floor or on the tiled entryway just looking miserable. Poor babies.

This morning traffic on 405 was a fucking NIGHTMARE so I skipped school (would have been very very late if I had stuck it out), turned around; drove over to the old apartment and cleaned up a little. I think Aaron and his sister are going to clean it tomorrow; the oven needs to be cleaned, it needs to be vacuumed etc. I picked up all the stuff that would not be sucked up in the vacuum and then packed my car full of shit that would fit, threw the bath mat in the washer and washed what was in the dishwasher. Then I hit Fred Meyer's and purchased a baker's rack and had to move some shit around in my car so the sales guys could fit it in there.

All that before 8am! I am productive as shit man. Now I need a nap.

Also, because they were a
hit in the past, I give you:

All about my mom...
1. She does not like to shop at Fred Meyers due to the advertisements they play on their loudspeakers. She calls it ‘fucking propaganda’.
2.After a kid of her friend went to survival camp (because he was baaad), and came back with stories of eating bugs etc. She could not touch peanut butter for months because he said spiders tasted of it.
3.She refers to the cats as ‘the boys’… and molly.
4.She pronounces Washington as Warshington. She also warshes her clothes.
5.She laughs when she is mad… seriously, the harder you get her laughing when she’s pissed, the more angry she is and you better run when she stops laughing.
6.She was born in Seattle, but her family hails from WEED, California. Heh, weed.
7.She loves crystal geiser water, as it is bottled from the mountain water she drank when she visited weed. I told her the water tasted like ass and she pronounced me crazy.
8.She loves her some Tom Jones, Mikhail Baryshnikov, and John Wayne.
9.She once dated an extra in a movie that John Wayne was making here in Seattle. When the opportunity presented itself for her to meet John Wayne, she declined. As a kid I never understood it. As an adult, I finally do.
10.I might mention that the extra had mob ties, and was older than she. This led to many arguments when I was a teenager wanting to date older guys “But YOU dated a guy with mob ties!”
11.She believes (as I do) that products are different when they change the packaging. When they changed the coke can she swore for months that it tasted different. I am that way especially with cleaners and makeup.
12.She would have been named Wilma if my Grandma had her way.
13.She craved split pea soup with maraschino cherries when she was pregnant with my sister. (Boy does this explain a lot about Lori!)
14.She does NOT think it’s funny to wrap a rubber band around the sprayer on the kitchen sink. At all.
15.She has about 4 thousand watches. Ok, maybe not 4 thousand, but a lot.
16.She loves Blue Topaz.
17.She does not find it amusing AT ALL when you lock her out on the patio, even if it’s for only a few seconds.
18.Seriously, the woman goes berserk.
19.She can follow damn near any recipe, without fucking it up.
20.That’s a trait I hope I’ve inherited.
21.She can’t decide if she’s going to be a ‘grandma’ or a ‘nana’.
22.I’m rooting for nana.
23.She hated sports and country music her whole life until about 10 years ago. She discovered Garth Brooks and the M’s won the pennant.
24.I would tell you where she works but she would cut me.
25.She hates George Bush as much as I do.
26.Every time a song comes on in the car she says “is this ugly kid joe?”
27.Even though she knows damn well that it isn’t.
28. Pepsi is a four letter word to her. (ok 5, but you get what I mean.)
29. She almost died when she had me.
30. She misses Asa and Ben a lot. She calls them 'the boys'.
31. She’ll spend hours making spaghetti, but then won’t have any for dinner.
32. The woman should own stock in Kleenex. The only person who blows their nose more than my sister and I is my mom.
33. One of her best friends she has known since she was 2, the other she met in the 1st grade I believe.
34. She has very interesting taste in music.
35. When my sister and I think she’ll hate a song, she actually ends up loving it.
36. For example, she likes “self esteem” by the offspring.
37. and ‘fallin’ by Alicia Keys
38. and ‘Put your ass into it’ by Ice Cube.
39. ok, that last one was a lie… but WE like it.
40. I can count on two fingers the number of times I have ever seen her with a drink in her hand.
41. She taught me how to laundry and how to add bleach using the ‘glug-glug’ method.
42. probably only mom and Lori will even get that.
43. When we were in the mood for a good laugh as kids, Lori and I would get mom to agree to read us any story of our choosing. Then we’d go grab the book with the ‘Brer Rabbit’ story in it and howl as she tried to make sense of the words. ( One day atter Brer Rabbit fool 'im wid dat calamus root, Brer Fox went ter wuk en got 'im some tar, en mix it wid some turkentime, en fix up a contrapshun w'at he call a Tar-Baby, en he tuck dish yer Tar-Baby en he sot 'er in de big road, en den he lay off in de bushes fer to see what de news wuz gwine ter be.) Imagine 10 or so pages of that. Heh.
44. She thought her computer was buzzing at her for weeks.
45. She would be on the net and randomly, this buzzing sound would happen.
46. After deducing any possible reason for said buzzing, she figured it must be the computer, as nothing else could have been making the noise.
47. So she spent what amounted to hours on the phone with Dell.
48. Begging and Pleading with them to help her fix it, getting frustrated when the operator was clueless as to what the problem could be, and getting angry and threatening that they had better send someone out to fix the problem.
49. On one of these calls to Dell she was about to have the operator walk her through how to wipe the hard drive clean and reinstall everything when she heard the buzzing.
50. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed that it was not the computer. It was a pager left at our house by mistake by Ashley.
51. If I recall, mom simply hung up the phone, and braced herself for the endless mocking that was about to begin from us.
52. I didn't know until about 2 or 3 years ago that my mom like old John Wayne Western movies.
53. One of her favorite movies of all time is 'Little Man Tate'.
54. she does NOT like movies that will make you cry.
55. She was pissed at me for a long time for not warning her about the ending of 'Pay it Forward'.
56. She laughed so hard when Holly and I had her watch the South Park Episode where Cartman gets an Anal probe that she started to choke.
57. She did that also when Matt played her the 'ode to my car' song by Adam Sandler.
58. her glasses HAVE to be immaculate.
59. When she would misplace them and make Lori and I look for them, I might have, on one or two occasions dirtied them with my fingerprints on purpose before handing them over.
60. For years she was a faithful buyer of Star, The National Enquirer and People magazine. Now it's just People that she buys.
61. She once brought a kitten home to us in her purse.
62. We named her bitsy and she liked to lick the bowls after we'd eaten potato soup.
63. She was really cute.
64. Until she wouldn't stop shitting in the corner, and we had to give her away.
65. She once referred to someone as 'asshole breath' and ever since, it's been my favorite insult.
66. Things you'll ALWAYS find in my mom's house: a box of kleenex, sos pads, cans of coke, tweezers, and razor blades. (and because she raised me well; you will find all of those at my house. minus the coke; though I usually have diet.)

There were a couple other things I could put in there, but I don't want her to be mad; and I am not making fun; just making light of things. If you haven't checked out the links above to the ones on Aaron and Lori, then be sure to check those; I think they're pretty funny too. It's taken me a loooong time to finish this one on my mom, maybe someday I'll finish the one on my dad.

Now here are some progress pics on our move... (there are a lot here, so it may take a minute or two...)

First, some proof that the babies are doing ok...

Benny is hoooooottt.

Molly is sweaty.

Asa knows that if he admits to being warm we'll shave him again, so he doesn't complain.

But doesn't he look miserable?

the next batch should serve to motivate me to get shit done so I can post 'after' shots.

Our bathroom counter area

The left side of the walk in closet that leads to our bathroom (note the habit Asa has already made that I am GOING TO NIP IN THE BUD... NO SLEEPING IN THE CLOTHES!)

The right side of the closet. I have to reorganize those purses up top; I just don't want to part with any.

The view of our room from the walk in closet (note the beeyootiful quilt my aunt made for our wedding that we now get to use!)

The view from the opposite side of the bedroom

The view of the living room and part of the dining room from the hall way by our bedroom

a better shot of the dining room

one side of the kitchen

the opposite side of the kitchen

the laundry room at the end of the kitchen

as you can see, we have our work cut out for us. :-) Check back tuesday for updated pics!


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