Wednesday, January 21, 2004


oh man, where to begin. I filed my taxes last night. For all of those out there who envy me for my rich and fabulous lifestyle, you will be happy to know that I made a whopping 23,127 bucks last year. GROSS. and not as in ewww gross, as in that's every penny accounted for rounded to the nearest whole dollar. Although it is kind of a gross number (as in eww gross) ok enough! Anyhoo, yeah so I filed. I was thrilled when I learned I would be getting back about 700 bucks or so, as that's the most I've ever gotten. It's enough to damn near pay off my sears card and get that bastard out of my life forever. So I file, and almost get teary I'm so happy, when I remember "I have another W-2 coming... FUCK FUCK FUCK!" Due to extenuating circumstances which I will not go into here, I am due to get another w-2 on which I supposedly earned probably under 500 bucks, but due to the circumstance I didn't keep any of it... it's hard to explain, but I will mighty fucking pissed if that w-2 fucks up my return. As my mom said "let's not hyperventilate until we know for sure"... but you know, according to the ol' Polenske history... I'm about to get screwed. You watch. I could account the many instances of being screwed by fate, the government, my immune system... life in general... I was actually going to list some examples here but they make me sound bitter and 'woe is me' so fuck it. But if you have any advice as to what I should do please drop me a line as it is much appreciated. :-)

Man, I am in a weird mood today. Not mad, just aggravated. I had a hideous dream... and not to bore everyone, but I dreamt a friend died... she just got married this year, and for some reason her memorial service was at my mom's house. The weird part is that when her husband came to the service he brought along their son (of which they have none, so this must've been in the future) and he looked so much like the both of them it creeped me out. I woke up in a funk from that... I was absolutely distraught in the dream.

I think the other reason I am so un-jolly this morning is that I kept hearing clips from the State of the Union address last night. It fucking boils my blood. I need to not get so damn upset over shit I can't control. I used to love watching the State of the Union when Clinton was President because no matter what bad stuff you can say about Clinton, he was charismatic and overall not a total shitbag of a President. I always felt inspired and reassured. With numnuts in office now, I will admit, some of the stuff said made me feel good, but lots of other shit just fucking pissed my shit off. I didn't watch it this year because last year I was pissed off for a good long while about it, and this year... well after hearing some of the stuff on the radio, arg... I can't stand him.

I want to know where he is coming from... I mean really. Instead of spending BILLIONS of dollars on endorsing space programs and promoting "traditional marriage", how about paying some attention to the homeless problem, the welfare problem, how about making it easier and less expensive for ALL AMERICANS to get healthcare? How about making it easier for people to go to college, so they aren't up to their fucking eyeballs in debt for 20 years after they graduate? How about spending more money to find a cure for Aids? Cancer? Aren't these things more important than preserving 'the sanctity of marriage' you dumb motherfucker?

I hate Bush, I do. He is a smug son-of-a-bitch, the epitome of narrowminded ignorance, and I get so fucking pissed off listening to his bullshit policies and ideas.

Some idiot called in this morning and though "Bush was awesome. He isn't afraid to stand up for what he believes in. To say 'I'm a christian, and these are my beliefs'." Um first of all, way to be redundant you bitch, and second of all since when is it ok to push your own personal beliefs on the American public just because you are president? AUUUUGGGGHHHH! Seperation of church and state motherfucker, look it up.

I'm a bit fired up today, no? I'm thinking I should lay off the caffeine. I was also thinking about taking st. john's wort... not sure yet if I will.

Oh yeah, Satchel came up to me yesterday and said "in case you want to make a note of it, I will be out on the 26th due to a root canal from about 11am to about 2pm." I looked at him with my best scowl and said " Why would I want to do that?" His reply:"well, I know you like to keep track of all of us--" I interrupted with "um, actually you are the only one who gives me a play by play and frankly, I don't keep a calendar for you or anyone else. Just let me know when you leave about the time you'll be back." I just can't stand the little bastard. I know he wasn't even being a dick, he just bugs the shit out of me. He starts in on these little things or he'll beat something to death until I cave and agree or whatever and it makes me want to quit so bad. I have to sit at my desk and say over and over "the pros outweigh the cons, the pros outweigh the cons, the pros outweigh the cons." It's true, he is really the only con to working here. The fact that he overshadows every positive thing is kind of sad. Maybe I'll work on that.

More Pictures!

Me and Lori, Christmas time 1981.

Troy and I, Halloween... 1999 I think. We were invited to a costume party. We really didn't know anyone there, it was very clique-y, and um, we were probably the only ones 'really' dressed up. How much did that suck? I should find the pictures of troy in the car afterwards, peeling off his mask. No more costume parties.

My two favorite cousins, Cassie and Cori when they were like... 3 or 4 I think. Cute huh?

This is me, I love this picture because I totally look like someone gave me sip off the brandy bottle.

Ben goes 'incognito'.

I did mention how we were obsessed with the mariner's right? Here's proof.

One of my alltime favorite pictures of my sister

I was a hellraiser back in the day

See, the torture didn't begin with Ben or Asa... this is our cat shadow (inventive with the name huh? My sister wanted to name it ruffy and I just about had an aneurysm over it. Of course she was like.. 3 at the time. I talked her into shadow.) This cat was a bit of a bastard, though I got away with a lot. He was unbathable though. My uncle Gary, in a fit of Macho-ness proclaimed he would just "bathe the goddamn cat". Heh, he got cat scratch fever from it too. And the Shadow escaped the bathroom in a mass of soapy fur.

oh yeah, got the 5 cds to finish out my contract with BMG.. I'm nothing if not eclectic... I got the Harry Chapin Collection, Norah Jones, Coldplay-parachutes, 3 Doors Down-Away From The Sun, and of course 50 cent- Get Rich or Die Tryin'.


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