I know... I'm posting late. I've already had two phone calls... one from Tatum wondering what was up and one from Lori telling me to get off my lazy ass and update already! Then she instructed me to write all about her. So... while I won't dedicate an entire entry to her as I have much interesting things to convey to you (shyah!) I'll give you a list of random Lori-ness off the top of my head...
1. Lori was a miracle baby; as my mom wasn't supposed to be able to have any more kids and along came Larry... I mean Lori.
2. Lori was named after Lauren Bacall, who she thinks is a dog.
3. Lori's middle name is Dana, after my aunt.
4. Lori is exactly 3 years and 360 days younger than me.
5. Lori drives a little black honda with tinted windows.
6. Lori used to drive a blue mustang, (I once wrote 'Ride Sally Ride' in shoe polish on her windshield, and 'I wish I was a Honda' on the rear window.
7. Lori responded with "I'm a hoochie" written on MY windshield.
8. Lori once tried to pee in the trash when she was sleepwalking.
9. That last one will probably piss her off, so I might add that I once tried to pee in the hamper when I was drunk... earning me the nick name 'Hal' (hamper +al) or sometimes matt just calles me Hamper.
10. Lori does a 'dirty girl dance.'
11. She performed this dance on Friday night when my mom and I were having a conversation that was grossing her out.
12. Lori used to faint a lot... once she hit her forehead on the counter of a doctor's office when she fainted, and when her head hit and pushed her backwards, she hit the back of her head on the examining table.
13. That story used to send me into fits of giggles, and... uh, it kind of still does.
14. When I heard they used smelling salts to wake her ass up it made me laugh even harder.
15. Lori hates listening to people describe health problems, or listening to people moan from pain.
16. This is what usually triggers the fainting.
17. Though sometimes it just makes her butt tingle.
18. When Lori was a baby I almost lost my life. She had really really bad colic, and my mom had been basically up with her for days. I still had a twisted nose from not being the only baby anymore (I was 4 at the time) and when my mom finally got Lori to sleep I reached in her bassinet and pinched her... I still remember that spanking.
19. My mom craved split pea soup with maraschino cherries when she was pregnant with lori.
20. When my mom would holler at my dad when we were waiting to go somewhere "C'mon Glenn!) Lori would mimic her and say "mon, nen!"
21. As kids, I would provoke her mercilessly until she could take no more and beat the tar out of me.
22. Lori always had the bottom bunk, and sometimes I would take a bunch of those Little Golden Books to bed (the ones with the gold binding) and when the light went off I would fling the books down at her so the corners would hit her.
23. I told Lori she was really my Uncle Gary's daughter, and his son Bobby was my real brother. I told her our parents traded, and that's why me and bobby had blonde hair and she had brown.
24. Lori loves Justin Timberlake.
25. She used to date a guy named Robin who matt nicknamed 'Red breast"
26. She also used to date a guy named Jake who my mom called "That greasy piece of shit."
27. Ok, she didn't actually call him that, but she thought it.
28. Lori has a sort of 'sixth sense'.
29. She actually saw the ghost of a little girl in our apartment, and has seen other apparitions that scare the living shit out of her as well.
30. My dad calls Lori a 'puritan', as she doesn't care for anything with 'lumps in it.'
31. Lori hates coconut, so every year on Valentines day I'll trick her into eating a coconut chocolate. Lori:"that smells like coconut" Me:"There isn't any, I swear" (Lori takes a bite and promptly spits it out "Goddammit!"
32. Lori was born with a full head of hair. (I was bald)
33. Lori had her finger smashed in a door when she was about 3 years old.
34. Till a few years ago, her nail still grew funky there.
35. Lori has been to Vegas, El Paso, and Canada.
36. Lori is coming to New York with me for New Years this year.
37. Lori's room is painted purple and sort of a pink.
38. She loves stand up comedy.
39. She loves Trading Spaces.
40. she is not afraid to break it down for you.
41. She saw me get bit in the face by a dog when she was only 3 or 4 years old and has not been a big fan of dogs ever since.
42. For a long time (as a child) cats made her nervous too.
43. Lori once told my Grandma she should iron her face.
44. Lori is interested in owning her own hair salon/spa one day.
45. she can't stand the feeling of a nail file.
46. She is a workout-aholic
47. Lori loves to shop for clothes. She has suitcases of clothes in her closet.
48. She also loves to shop for baby clothes. My cousin Dawn can attest to that.
49. Lori is left handed.
50. Lori is going to be my maid of honor.
And that's all I can think of right now... I am dealing with brain mush today.
Man, my weekend sped by wayyy too fast. I went out to dinner with Cathy on Friday... lots and lots of wedding talk! It was great, we don't hang out very often and that's gotta change. It was a great time, she gave me some very awesome ideas and leads to check out.
Saturday was spent driving around ... a lot. Aaron and I drove to 5 different reception halls, I called on a couple, and have a few leads as a result. Then we went shopping and got lunch, eventually finding our way down to his dad's house. He helped set up some stuff and move some furniture while I visited with his sister and her friend Leah and his uncle's girlfriend. It was a nice time, we asked Brandi (his sister) to be an attendant. We now have 8 attendants each... yee haw it's going to be a big wedding! I had gotten ahold of my friend Bobby the night before, he is flying in from Sweden for the wedding and is going to be my 'man of honor'. He'll stand next to Lori, and Brandi will be Aaron's 'Best Maid' and she'll stand next to the Best man.
We ended up leaving Aaron's dad's and went down to Willie's house, went out for Chinese, and then we all went to a bar nearby. I haven't been out drinking in a while, and I would like to officially state that 4 beers and two shots of tequila are a poor choice. I got hmmm how should I say... fucked up? Not pretty. I embarassed myself on a few counts, was accused of farting and let me just state for the record I DID NOT FART! That stanky ass fart did not come from me... granted, the details of the drive home are fuzzy if not completely nonexistent (as Aaron says "that's cause you passed out!) but I do remember the farting incident and IT WASN'T ME! My favorite quote of the night? The best 'Willie-ism' yet. He was messing around with his pool cue, and it almost hit him in the face. The expression he made was funny enough, then in defense he said "Well! You got a hard stick and a soft face! What would you do?" I think Aaron almost peed his pants laughing at that one.
We had a great time, though my hangover the next morning was probably the worst in a very very very long time. I spent most of sunday trying to clean up the pigsty that was our apartment. Looking at the clutter made me feel worse. We went to my mom's in the afternoon for my cousin Chrissy's 5th birthday party and then we went to Old Navy and I got some snazzy pink fleeces.
Overall a highly enjoyable weekend. Just too damn fast.
Incidentally, did you see the
picture on the front page? Asa is still pissed... and plotting his revenge.
My cousins Jessie and Chrissy... also known as my flower girls. Chrissy turns 5 today... God I feel old.