Thursday, July 17, 2003


When I woke up this morning I was totally excited because I thought it was Friday. You can imagine my dismay at realizing I still had 2 more freakin days before the weekend. Oh well... Thursday is actually one of my favorite days... Thursdays and Saturdays... that feel like Sundays, because I always get happy when I realize I still have one day to go on my weekend.

Two things happened yesterday that disturbed me down to my very core. On the way home from the gym, I found myself humming along to a song on the radio, thinking to myself: "Man, I really like this song!" Then I remembered it was a Beyonce Knowles song and cursed myself. I can't stand her. (usually... apparently... somehow she slipped under the filter though)... I have no reason to dislike her other than I just don't. CANNOT STAND HER. The whole priveleged youth... daddy manages her group... other girls get the shaft kinda thing. It's a principle thing.

The other thing that happened was that after I got home, showered, ate my dinner, and checked my email it was still fairly 8:15 or so. I was flipping channels on the tube, and of course unless I want to watch any one of the 32 flavors of 'reality' television that's on every fucking night, there really isn't much to choose from. So I stopped on Kong; the local affiliate to the affiliate of NBC... that's the best way I can describe it. Anyway, I start watching of all things, Dr. fucking Phil. Not only do I start watching it, but I find myself paying attention, staying put during commercials and above all not chastising anyone on the show! What's wrong with me?! I used to make fun of Dr. Phil and all who watched him!!! It occurs to me I never gave the show a chance, probably because right after he became popular, my parents would watch him and then pawn off his advice to me. My mom told me once last year, when I was moaning about being single and wanting a boyfriend "That Dr. Phil says the best way to meet a guy is to go to a place where guys hang out... sporting events, men's clothing store's etc." Right then and there I think is where the Dr. Phil can go to hell philosophy was born. Well, this show was ok; and while he still kinda gets on my nerves... he did a nice thing for this girl who is suffering from anorexia and bulimia, by footing the bill for therapy for as long as it takes for her to get well.

Speaking of weight issues, thanks to those of you who dropped me a line, and signed the comments section with suggestions on why I am plateauing. I did eat a little more yesterday... including a cup of the forbidden java... potted coffee though, no frou-frou stuff that I really really wanted. (I am going to get a frappucino on saturday though, come hell or come highwater.) Anyhoo, I was back down to 169 at the gym last night, and yes I am aware I probably shouldn't be weighing myself every single day... but I do, and I don't see me not doing it anytime soon... seems to be feast or famine with me. I either continually weigh myself or I go years without doing it. There were literally about 3 years I went without knowing how much I weighed... even telling the nurse at the doctor's office not to tell me how much I weighed or just flat out refusing to get on the scale when I went in there. The day I conceded I was about 260lbs... and thus the weight loss began. Well... not right away, I had gotten a few pictures back from a camping trip... horrified at how I looked, and when I showed people they weren't as shocked as me... that was kind of a wake up call.

Anyhoo, as far as eating more... that's something I am going to have to work up to. I ate my eggs and onion yesterday wrapped in a tortilla (mmmm, heaven) and then ate a low fat chocolate chip granola bar. (mmmm) I also had an extra banana in the morning and some soy crisps. Then I put cheese on my salad last night, as well as an extra hardboiled egg. I was full, so I didn't eat a lot extra, but I did eat a little bit more than I usually do. (Which I think is a step in the right direction.) As far as shocking my system by eating more calories for a week or so, then going back onto my regimen... I went off of it for like 6 months, and got back on and have worked my ass off to lose 8lbs. 3 of which I gained in that time, and an extra 5 for good measure. While I didn't go buck wild while I went off the regimen... I ate normally. I still stayed a vegetarian--eating fish occasionally, and eating fairly healthy, but I ate a lot of muffins. I ate cookies... (God, especially during the holidays), I ate fast food... Taco Time mostly, and if I wanted candy, I ate candy. I ate cereal, sandwiches, and rice. I ate ice cream and waffles and drank coffee and beer. Then when I started back, I figured I would drop weight really fast, but it just didn't happen that way. So, where I am at TODAY (because this seems to change on a daily freakin basis) is that I am going to stay on track... not get frustrated and quit. I had a really great workout last night... an easy night, where running and applying myself came easy for once. If anything, I'll lose inches and the poundage will come in time... I hope. :-) That much I have to have faith in.

The satchel bastard is due to be back in the office today. (uugggghhhh) All day yesterday the rest of us were overjoyed at his absence. If I heard "man it's a good day when he's gone!" once, I heard it 20 times. And not just from my own mouth. We are due to begin an inventory next week and I am dreading it like you wouldn't believe. Picture an office lined with shelves, that hold lots of boxes with lots of little coin envelopes that hold tiny little parts for electronic repairs. We have to count all of those. Tiny little screws, washers, bolts etc. Oy. It's gonna be left mostly to me, but I have already insisted on the tech helping me for one day... and have repeated that request at least 10 times a day for the past week... I don't repair anything, so there are lots of items that I don't know what the hell they are, let alone the miscellaneous piles of stuff in his office. Everyone keeps their workspace their own way, and some of those parts need to be counted, and some don't (as they already belong to customers) and without his input... I am lost. Wish me luck. It's going to be a trying week.

I know this picture is blurry, but I love the contrast between Asa's colors and the blanket. Plus his nose is so pink.


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