Friday, January 24, 2003


Well, Friday is here, and I couldn't be happier. Actually I could be, but for the most part life is good. I am dog ass tired right now, as I type my eyes are burning. The problem? It's only about 7:30pm... I am about to go lay down and take a nap before Aaron gets here to pick me up. I am still not wearing any makeup; am hoping tomorrow I can finally bring my favorite lipstick out of retirement... we'll see though. :-)

Man, going without email and internet service at work sucks ass. I can't even begin to tell you how much. I lost an auction I had my heart set on today; because of it, and am still kinda pissed about it. :-) I am so anxious to get better.... am dying to get back to the gym, but won't go until I am sure I won't be overdoing it. Maybe by the middle of next week or so... I look at myself, and though I haven't gained any weight or anything by not going (in fact, I think I've lost a few pounds due to the illness), I am disgusted. I think I'm probably more disgusted by the way I look now, than I was at my heaviest. Maybe it's because I have a boyfriend, and I don't feel attractive... at least not as attractive as I want to be. I am constantly berating myself when I look in the mirror; especially about my weight. I'm dead serious, I know that this is an unhealthy way to think, but at the same time... I just can't stop obsessing about it sometimes. It's all I think about.

Ok, new uplifting topic... I have the best boyfriend in the world. :-D I have been on a mission to try and find cherry air fresheners for my car, they actually look like a cluster of cherries... we all know how much Allison likes the cherries. Anyway, he happened to be in an auto parts store and saw some cherry scented ones, and though they are not shaped like cherries, they have the scent, which is just as good :-D so he bought the last three packs and surprised me with them last night. Isn't he sweet? We went out to lunch today, and I am as smitten as ever... It's been a month and a half, and I feel like I've known him forever. It's totally, utterly, and completely awesome. I can't begin to tell you. :-)

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