Friday, January 31, 2003


I have gone through a box of kleenex already and it's barely noon. This.can' Seriously, I'm in snot production overdrive.... what the hell. I have to have lost like a pound in mucous alone. Good God I'm tired of blowing my nose. Not to mention, all the blowing makes me look like Rudolph's long lost cousin... I have been applying my chapstick moisturizing formula to my nose, and it is better than if I wasn't using the stuff; it's a miracle worker I tell ya. Aaron reached for the chapstick last night and I had to stop him... "don't use that." I said. He looked at me questioningly " I use that for my nose." I wish I could adequately describe the look on his face when I said that... I became defensive and was laughing and said "what? it works!" He laughed and replied "you could've made something up instead of telling me that." I felt so attractive. :-D So embarrassing moment 432 has now passed, it's a matter of time til 433 comes up. I'll keep you posted. :-)

So I am completely on the Nelly - Airforce Ones bandwagon... have you heard that song? It's the best song ever. It's on repeat right now as a matter of fact. I just want to break out into song and dance.... I would so be bustin a move right now if I wasn't at work. I said get me two perrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs. I need two perrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs. Get to stompin in my ERR force ones.... any song that talks about foot locker is grammy worthy in my book.

So my latest theory on beating this VIRUS FROM HELL, is power sleeping. I went home last night, slept from about 6:30ish until 11:00 or so... I went back to bed a little while later, and slept until this morning, and though I am a virtual snot factory (sorry to be gross, but we're all family here right?) I don't wish for death to come rescue me from the torturous grasp of this VIRUS FROM HELL. So I am going to employ the power sleeping method tonight as well. I have also been reading up on boosting my immune system on the net; and wrote down some helpful hints about how much vitamins I should be taking and stuff; and will be putting that plan into action next week when I get paid. HAVE I MENTIONED THAT IT FUCKING SUCKS TO BE BROKE? I get paid Wednesday, but at this point that's about as helpful to me as if I were to get paid in two more frickin weeks. It's time to buckle down and start saving money for when I move out... speaking of which, since today is the last day of January (and by the way, where the fuck did the month of January go already?) I am one month closer to the big day... I anticipate it to be happening sometime between may and september.... VERY EXCITING!! Can't wait to be on my own, and have my own things...

Well kids, it's time to go; I am procrastinating homework, and that ain't a good thing. Talk to you soon....

Wednesday, January 29, 2003


I have a dull ache at the base of my head/neck that is a consequence from coughing my FUCKING LUNGS OUT all day. But other than that life is just great! I am ashamed to admit I taped part of American Idol because I was in the bath last night, and didn't want to miss anything. Good God, what am I turning into? That and I made myself a tuna sandwich today. Now, I know I am a fish eating vegetarian, but even when I ate meat, I stayed the hell away from tuna fish... but now, it sounds kinda good.

Kiss 106.1 is doing a radio telethon thing for Children's Hospital next week. Jackie and Bender (the morning show) is heavily involved, and have been playing these... profiles of families who want to share their stories about children's. Usually it's the parent(s) talking with music in the backround, very touching, considering most of the stories do not have the ending you want them to have. Most of the stories end with the death of the child, and me sitting at my desk at work stifling sobs. The first one I heard the other day made me all out cry. Of course, it's partly because I knew the child the profile was on... years ago, when I started working at a daycare (1994-95) our van driver Tony (such a nice guy) had a son who was in the school age program. He was in the first grade I think; his name was Nathaniel, and he was such a nice, sweet kid. After Tony left the daycare for a different job, Nathaniel didn't attend anymore, and a few years later we had heard through the grapevine that Nathaniel had come down with cancer and passed away. It was hard to stomach then, and even years later whenever I would happen to cross paths with tony or his wife... though it's been so long now, I doubt they'd know me. But to hear his wife talk about Nathaniel, and the fight he put up against this rare form of cancer... and the bravery he showed... the lump in my throat was the size of a beach ball. Tony and his wife now have two other children who I believe are too young to remember Nathaniel... I don't think their daughter was even born before Nathaniel passed away... and in the spot they played on the radio their mom talked about how they tell their kids about Nathaniel every day, and how he is still a member of their family. Christ I'm getting choked up just writing about it... anyway, it's just so sad. I don't think he could have been much more than 8 or 9 when he died... that's a crime. Shit like that shouldn't happen to kids. So this morning, when I heard them start the music to another profile I just turned the radio down.... I will definitely make a donation to Children's when they start their radiothon... but I can't listen to those heartbreaking stories.... it's just too sad.

Well, I gotta jet, I have math class tonight and... let me tell you, sitting in a room, where all everyone is doing is quietly working out of their books for 2 and a half hours is absolutely mind numbing. I'm serious. I nod off at least once every 10 minutes... crikey. And I'm behind, because I haven't really done any homework in there... bright girl, that Allison. So I have to just buckle down and do some damn homework tonight, tomorrow night... and this weekend. Shoot me.

Tuesday, January 28, 2003


Well, I am officially feeling better.... though this scratchy throat shit can kiss my ass. I am feeling pretty good for the most part, I can't really complain. Well, yes I can... today that J Lo and LL Cool J song came on and I didn't change the station. I'm so ashamed. :-) I told you I would get hooked on it... she just sounds wierd in it. I am also hooked on that song by tatu... all the things you said. GREAT SONG! Very 'euro-dance'... is that even a genre? Anyway, it makes me want to get up and dance... very upbeat. I don't have much to write about today, so I'll update tomorrow.

Friday, January 24, 2003


Well, Friday is here, and I couldn't be happier. Actually I could be, but for the most part life is good. I am dog ass tired right now, as I type my eyes are burning. The problem? It's only about 7:30pm... I am about to go lay down and take a nap before Aaron gets here to pick me up. I am still not wearing any makeup; am hoping tomorrow I can finally bring my favorite lipstick out of retirement... we'll see though. :-)

Man, going without email and internet service at work sucks ass. I can't even begin to tell you how much. I lost an auction I had my heart set on today; because of it, and am still kinda pissed about it. :-) I am so anxious to get better.... am dying to get back to the gym, but won't go until I am sure I won't be overdoing it. Maybe by the middle of next week or so... I look at myself, and though I haven't gained any weight or anything by not going (in fact, I think I've lost a few pounds due to the illness), I am disgusted. I think I'm probably more disgusted by the way I look now, than I was at my heaviest. Maybe it's because I have a boyfriend, and I don't feel attractive... at least not as attractive as I want to be. I am constantly berating myself when I look in the mirror; especially about my weight. I'm dead serious, I know that this is an unhealthy way to think, but at the same time... I just can't stop obsessing about it sometimes. It's all I think about.

Ok, new uplifting topic... I have the best boyfriend in the world. :-D I have been on a mission to try and find cherry air fresheners for my car, they actually look like a cluster of cherries... we all know how much Allison likes the cherries. Anyway, he happened to be in an auto parts store and saw some cherry scented ones, and though they are not shaped like cherries, they have the scent, which is just as good :-D so he bought the last three packs and surprised me with them last night. Isn't he sweet? We went out to lunch today, and I am as smitten as ever... It's been a month and a half, and I feel like I've known him forever. It's totally, utterly, and completely awesome. I can't begin to tell you. :-)

Thursday, January 23, 2003


I hesitate to tell you this, but... (maybe if I put it in parenthesis and lower caps, the gods of sickness won't hear... i think i may be feeling better.) shhhhhhhh.... knock on wood. I actually just knocked on wood... it's an inherant (sp?) habit I can't kick... well I've never actually tried to kick it, but all the same, hopefully this will continue and I'll be back to my normal self in no time.

Our internet service is down at work, and may possibly not be up until Monday. FUCK! This disturbs me because I have my eyes set on some ebay auctions, that end sometime during the work day tomorrow. Shit. Shit. Shit. I have already sent good thoughts and warm wishes to the Gods of Covad and small business DSL... but I think they've turned on me. I sat on the phone for about an hour with BRAD from our carrier, trying to figure out what the fuck the problem was, BRAD was ever so helpful... but alas, it's not our 'carrier's' problem... it's covad. Of course... God forbid your 'carrier' provide dsl service, instead there is like 3 or 4 different companies involved in making sure my ass can get online... and they are all passing the buck right now. Earthlink says it's Covad's fault, Covad is pointing the finger at Qwest, and Qwest... well they just don't answer the fucking phone, so I guess they are winning thus far. :-)

I was at Costco today, and the guy who I always see there, (he's an employee) he checks off all the receipts to make sure you're not slipping out the door with unpaid for goods... anyway, he looks into my cart and says "68 bucks." My total was actually 69.22 but never the less, I was impressed. It's not like I had a few pricey things in my cart either; they were all office supplies (except for the cat litter, which I will have to deduct from the receipt because Costco doesn't accept VISA... now when did places start denying VISA? .... I digress...) anyway, I had about 10 or 11 different items in my cart, and I gotta say, I thought it was really cool that he could guess almost dead on like that. I get a kick out of stupid little shit like that all the time... like a few years ago, when I met my friends Toni and Sandra at Cucina! Cucina! (incidentally, why the exclamation points?) and our waitress wrote her name in CURSIVE upside down... and did a pretty damn good job. I was enthralled with that for at least an hour ... maybe more.

Have you heard that new song by LL Cool J and J Lo? God, that was hideous to type... anyway, I hate that song. I hate it because it's just catchy and sugary enough that I know it's just a matter of time until I'm downloading it to burn and play over and over till I make everyone sick of it, and I will still be knee deep in the middle of loving it. Man. On the flip side, B2K and P. Diddy have a song out that talks about a girl making her body go bum bum bum... and I LOVE THAT SONG. I do... I'm not ashamed to admit it either....

I told Aaron today I think he's rubbing off on me. :-) I was leaving Costco and noticed a fiero pulling into the parking lot, and actually caught myself taking notice that it was a fiero. Before I met him that never would have happened. :-) Well, I am outta here, just came home on my break to check email and make sure my auctions were doing ok; Aaron says I'm an ebay sniper, because I don't bid until the last minute or two... I'm aware that that makes me somewhat unethical and a total bitch to someone who's trying to win an auction the right way, but do you know how many times I've been screwed out of good stuff by other bastards like me? That said, I admire people who win auctions the right way, like Aaron... I just don't have the faith or patience... maybe that'll start rubbing off on me too. :-)

Wednesday, January 22, 2003


I think I'm going crazy.... I'm serious. I am so hungry right now, I could actually start crying. Why am I so hungry you ask? Because the only thing I can barely tolerate eating is ice cream, and the thought of eating ice cream AGAIN makes me
A. want to vomit,
B. gives me an even deeper complex about weight gain, and
C. makes me want to cry even more... I haven't eaten a solid food since saturday; and it killed me then, so even as I sit here contemplating whether or not to go to arby's and get a beef n cheddar sandwich... hold the beef (but the bread is soft and would be softer with the hot cheese on it...) but that raises some other concerns... I can barely ... BARELY brush my teeth as it is; and just became able to that last night... I'm not telling you how many days I had to forgo that luxury... so not only am I petrified I have done even more damage to my already shitty teeth... the thought of eating something that requires chewing ... scares the hell out of me, because as tender as my gums are I can't properly brush my if one tiny piece of bread gets caught between two molars in the back... I can't use floss or a toothpick (are you frickin crazy?!) or even my toothbrush to get it out, so it'll sit there, and cause a cavity... so either way you look at this situation, I'm fucked. Oh yeah, another reason I don't want and more freakin ice cream... it's not filling. AT ALL. My stomach HAS TO HAVE SHRUNK... I am not eating a lot of it anyway, and what I do it is typically low cal, low fat... though I have had a frosty or two since this ordeal began.... but the point is, I'm afraid to eat much of it, because the last thing my fragile state of mind could take is weight gain at this point in time... and since I'm not eating alot of it, and it's not filling... I'm hungry just about all the fucking time. except for the hour or two after consumption when I seem to be ok... as it is, I have school tonight and I am trying to hold off on eating ANYTHING until right before I go, because it's so quiet in there and I will die if my stomach starts growling like the bitch that it is.

I also attribute the debilitation of my mind to the fact that I am worried that my teeth are getting worse, and since my gums are so enflamed and swollen, and my dear mother keeps asking me if any of them are loose... I am freaked that they are going to fall out. I don't think this is an unjustified worry, because I asked my doctor if there was a chance of that, and she said "well let's hope we don't have to worry about that, but I want you to keep a close eye on them." THAT'S FUCKING MARVELOUS. At this particular point... I would give just about anythign to feel better... seriously... I know I'm getting a little better, because I can now tolerate drinking water... the colder the better though.

Tuesday, January 21, 2003


I am updating mainly because a certain someone told me he's going to start bugging me to update more often. :-) I have no good reason for not writing anything lately other than I have been sick... wait that IS a good reason! I am so tired of being tired, so sick of being sick... you get my point. I am praying that this will all be over soon... it's wearing me down man. I could handle the body aches, I could handle the low grade fever, I could handle the mouth tenderness... I could handle the sniffles and coughs... it's the actual mouth pain that is just pushing me over the edge. That's the one aspect that makes every second a lesson in tolerance. I can't wait for this to just be done... I am hoping I am on the right path... I cleaned out my car this morning, so I am hoping that's a good sign. :-) Aaron is such a sweetheart, he took care of me all weekend, not minding that I slept most of the day on Saturday, and he even went and got me something to eat Saturday evening. I'm telling you I hit the jack pot with him. :-D

A few random thoughts...

The new JC Chasez song (he's the other dude from NSYNC that is attempting a solo career)... I like the chorus, but actually detest the rest of the song... how is that possible?

More than I'd like to admit, that song by Jay z and Beyonce... 03 bonnie and clyde is growing on me... why do most rappers have to make references to bonnie and clyde? what is the freakin fascination? I just don't get it.

I haven't worn eye makeup in almost 6 days. Well it's 6 days today anyway. You know I'm sick if I can't even be bothered to bust out the eyeshadow. What is with me? More than I'd like to tell you my friend.

By the way, I just put a box up for a new feature on my website, on the front page , if you type in your email address there and follow the directions ... then any time I update my site, add photos or write in this journal or whatever, you will get an email notifying you. :-) So go sign up, make me feel loved!

On my way out the door tonight, one of the guys I work with... the one I can't stand... let's call him... Dennis shall we? Anyway, I am getting ready to walk out the door; already 1 minute past my time, and he wants me to take one of his orders, and get a ups label ready for him and a sign sheet so he can take it up to ups himself. When I tell him that I'm on my way out the door; he gets all offended and is like "you can't take a minute to do this?" I thought twice before almost replying "for you, no... for someone I actually like... well, yeah I probably would." instead I said "don't you know how to do this yourself?" he grumbled "it's been so long since I did one, I forgot... just forget it." I was like "whatever dude, this is why you should know how to do this stuff yourself man." And I left. Peace out homey, get a frickin clue is what I felt like saying. Man he gets on my last nerve. Anyway, I am gonna go lay down and take a nap.

Thursday, January 16, 2003


Ok... I am sick. Sick of being sick. I have not felt well since right after New Year's ... though it's been a manageable cold... it's morphing into a different illness as we speak. My glands under my chin are swollen and feel like two little moth balls.... and they hurt. There have been a few other charming developements that I won't bore you with, but I will say, come wednesday of next week I am going to probably just give in and go to the damn doctor. Though I can give myself twenty bucks to stare in the mirror and say "it's probably just a virus... nothing you can do but wait it out." Wow, that's so helpful. It's awesome. I actually started looking up stuff on line about swollen glands and for a period of time this afternoon I was convinced that I was suffering from either mono or non-hodgkins lymphoma. I'm all achy and tired, my throat hurts... ok; enough whining...

Today wasn't all bad, I went to Old Navy to buy a few shirts because I only have one decent dress shirt, and I am so tired of wearing the same shirt every time Aaron and I go out. So I found a few blouses, and on a whim I decided to try on a pair of size 12 jeans... now normally I wouldn't be advertising what size jeans I wear on this website, but seeing as I HAVE NEVER WORN A SIZE 12 PAIR OF PANTS IN MY ADULT LIFE... I'll make an exception. :-) Yeah baby, that's right... I have gone down 12 dress sizes. Fuck a duck man... I have been so down on myself lately for not going to the gym... I have been sick and then there was that wierd week between the holidays... I haven't gained any weight; in fact I've lost 2lbs... I just feel guilty for not applying myself. Now I don't feel so bad, and am hungering to get my ass into a pair of 9/10 jeans by my birthday... I bet I can do it...

And by the way, Lori and I had to pass on the Bon Jovi tickets... by the time we got to buy them, the seats that were available were sucky. And we decided to just pass. Oh well. We'll catch em on the next time around.

Monday, January 13, 2003


...wanted... dead or alive. Dude, Bon Jovi will be playing at Key Arena on April 15th... I am so there. Sad but true... this Bon Jovi fan went out to Walmart this weekend to purchase the cd Bounce (ok, so if I was a TRUE die hard fan, I would already have it... but I admit... I am obsessed with most of their old stuff... though the bounce cd is pretty good.) Anyhoo, I bought the cd, because there is a code in it that gives me access to an internet presale of concert tickets... yeah baby, that's right. I have the EDGE!

Even sadder is that I dreamt I met Richie Sambora and though most of the dream is foggy, I recall asking him repeatedly if they do a lot of their old stuff in their shows. He just kept nodding and laughing it off. Wierd... musta been the nyquil.

Yes, I have gone through a bottle of Nyquil the past week... I have one hell of a cold; seems to be getting a little bit better though. I think. :-) I had a great weekend; kind of laid low, Aaron and I spent most of it chillin out, watching movies. We saw 'JUST MARRIED' on Saturday, check out my movie reviews for my thoughts on that. We were both beat on Saturday afternoon; we sat in a parking lot in Federal Way for like 20 minutes trying to decide where we were going to get something to eat; both of us too tired to pick someplace... and both a little dismayed that at 7pm on a saturday we almost would rather go home and pass out than do much else. Though I think he really wanted to find something to do; I was just absolutely exhausted. I think if I wasn't sick I would have been ok; but the cold was just wiping me out. Bless his heart though, we went and got Taco Time, and I helped him move some electronic equipment at his place; then I very promptly fell asleep about 15 minutes into the movie Seven, (this is about 9pm) and didn't wake again until midnight when it was time for the Nyquil. We lazed around most of Sunday morning; didn't even get up until well after noon. ( I SAID I WAS TIRED!) Then we watched the movie Signs... that flick still creeps me out and I've seen it before. I actually yelled when Mel Gibson investigates the alien in the pantry... and well... I don't want to ruin it for everyone, but at the climax of the seen I shrieked like banchee... which I think scared the crap out of Aaron. Because if it isn't my imagination I think he yelled a little too. :-) Watching scary movies with me isn't easy man. I tend to psych people out... of course, I'm NOTHING compared to my friend Choni. She got so freaked during the sixth sense, she had me hiding my eyes. And that movie is so nothing to be scared of. Anyway, after the movie, we went to a birthday party of a child of a friend of mine. (Is it just me or is that sentence a wee bit confusing?) My friend J. and I have known each other since 7th grade... I hadn't seen her since we were about 15 though, and we got together for dinner and movie a few months ago. So when she invited me to come over for her son's 6th birthday party, I was anxious to introduce her to Aaron and to meet her son, AND to see her twin sister who I haven't seen in about 10 years. We had a good time, catching up and reminiscing... it's so awesome when the chemistry doesn't change. J. and I still talk and trade one liners like we were back in Mrs. Byars core class... arguing over who was the cuter new kid... jordan or Joey... (I think she liked jordan... but I could be wrong)

Anyway, after we left there, we went back to my house for dinner with the family and then took Grandpa home... I almost killed us all when I dozed off (for just a second... not even a whole second... a milisecond...) I was startled to consciousness by grandpa saying "where you going?" ... and my eyes popped open and I saw that I was not even on the freeway anymore... Holy shit that could have been bad. Seriously, that scared the shit out of me. Will not be forcing myself to drive anymore... not worth it.

Ended the weekend by watching about 20 minutes of sliding doors before Aaron and I both crashed. Though I don't think we were as tired as the british accents were soothing. Anyhoo, I've wasted enough of your time... GO BE PRODUCTIVE!

OH YEAH, ONE LAST THING... they released the first season of Sanford and Son on DVD... and season two will be released on Feb. 4th... how in trouble am I? I love that freakin show!

Sunday, January 05, 2003


Man, what a couple of weeks it's been... I see that the last time I updated this journal was Christmas Eve... That's like two weeks ago man, my bad. I have been one busy girl; that's for sure. I don't even really know where to begin.... First off, I am in love. That's right... the eternal single girl, the hopeless romantic... she's in a state of complete and utter twitterpation... actually, the twitterpation stage is long gone... I am head over heels in love. I have hesitated to write about it in my journal here, because as superstitious as I am, I don't want to jinx anything. I have been assured though that I have nothing to worry about... The picture on the front of my site is a pic of the beautiful roses that Aaron (my sweetheart) gave to me for our one month milestone...or anniversary. It sounds so wierd to say that; I am so used to flying solo... yet I feel like I've known him forever.

I spent Christmas eve with my dad's side of the family, Aaron accompanied us there; which was cool because it was my cousin Lisa and her husband Dwayne who set us up in the first place. Lisa is my dad's sister's daughter. We had a pretty good time though I was suffering from a raging toothache. Christmas day arrived, and I ended up spending the afternoon/evening with Aaron's family. It was a good time, I can't get over how warm and inviting they all are. We spent New Year's Eve at Aaron's brother's house. It was my first New Year's kiss... and that alone made it the best New Year's ever. :-)

On January 2nd, Aaron and I took off for the Oregon coast. We had no real destination; other than to drive for a while on I-5 south, then we figured we'd consult the map and go westward. We ended up in Newport, Oregon. A beautiful little town nestled in the seaside of some of Oregon's prettiest beaches. We stayed at a Shilo Inn, and got an EXCELLENT deal. We had a perfect view of the ocean from our room; the beach was directly below us, and we spent a lot of time watching the seagulls and beach combers. We also visited the historic Newport Bayfront; where there are gift shops galore and a wax museum, aquarium, and a Ripley's Believe It Or Not Museum. We visited Ripley's and had a good time reading about and examining the exhibits. We ate dinner our second night there at a restaurant called FLASHBACKS... we had spotted it the night before while we were on a drive. It was a 50's style diner, and looked kinda cool; sure enough when we pulled up we heard the oldies playing on loudspeakers outside the restaurant right away. We sat down and looked around; if you didn't know better; you might think it was 1955; the booths were red glittery vinyl, there were old magazines from the 50's on each table; and lots of paraphernilia (sp?) scattered all around. The prices were excellent; top sirloin steak was not even 10 bucks; and we were amazed because they had everything from spaghetti to fried egg sandwiches on the menu. Our soda's came to us in mason jars... we had a great time there. Too bad Newport is so far away, because Flashbacks just became my new favorite restaurant. :-)

We came home on Saturday, and attended my cousin Lisa's birthday party at our favorite Karaoke place. I was coming down with a cold though; so I didn't sing as much... and sunday I got a bunch of miscellaneous stuff done and watched MINORITY REPORT ... which was better than I thought it would be.

The last month has been completely and utterly awesome... I could go on and on, but you know...

I am hooked on two different cds right now... and if you know me, you know it's a RARE occurrence for me to like an entire cd... but No Doubt's ROCK STEADY is awesome... I love every single song on there; which is wierd, because I have never been much of a No Doubt fan. Christina Aguilera's STRIPPED cd is also completely amazing... very soulful and raw... there is one song I don't care for; but everything else is great. Both of these have been on repeat rotation at work; I can't get enough.

Incidentally, haven't seen much activity on my archives page. The archives are a compilation of old journal entries or movie reviews or stuff I love or hate entries... you can choose which pages to view. It's wierd to look back and see the completely different frame of mind I was in when I began this journal.... and continued on with it... seems like a different person wrote those entries. Anyway, that's enough babbling, I have stuff to do! Have A GREAT DAY!