Nolan had a rough evening when I got home, I don't know the specifics other than he was in timeout when I walked in and apparently he hassled Aaron and was a real pain in the neck all afternoon. He had a spectacular day at school (no sarcasm, he truly did), and Aaron said he must have saved it all up for when he got home. So he's getting ready to go to bed early tonight... no stay up privelege for cranky, disrespectful boys in this house.
I expect I'll be talking to his teacher tommorrow morning or Wednesday morning... we exchanged several emails over the past few days... the gist of it being he's been really struggling to not be disruptive, not play during lessons, talking too much etc. He's not acting out necessarily... he was diagnosed with adhd when he was 4. He has gotten progressively better about impulse control and behavior as he's gotten older, but he still struggles. Anyway, I think it's worse right now because of the excitement of the holidays... or maybe it's just because, I don't know. But He had a really rough week last week and on Friday she sent me an email telling me what a good job he did, and that he only got one color demotion to Yellow (they all start on Green, and can go up to Red (red hot razzle dazzle) for doing something awesome, or they can go down to yellow, pink and blue. Blue means you are frozen and a call home... he's never ever gotten on blue before, and rarely anything other than green. But he was on blue last week. I was NOT happy.
Anyway, she tells me he had a great day and I write back and tell her that I'm so glad, and thank her for letting me know, etc. Then I get home and find out that Nolan was actually demoted to Yellow and missed out on the class activity of making snowflakes because he threw a napkin at another child during reading time. Instead she had him sit there and write me a letter telling me why he couldn't participate while all of his classmates sat around him doing the activity.
I emailed her this morning and inquired about it, given that I only had the 7 year old's side of the story. I had asked her previously not to dangle classroom activities or use them as rewards/punishments for Nolan when it came to this kind of behavior... I asked her to try using pep talks and reminders before each lesson/activity while he is struggling. He gets in trouble for talking in line, for playing with his friend at inappropriate times... for not sitting still during carpet lessons. he's not being defiant, he's not being disrespectful... he's 7 and he has adhd and he's struggling right now.
Anyway, she wrote back and explained that she would have done the same for any other student who disrupted the class like he did (when he threw the napkin)... and that she has high expectations for her students. Fine. I applaud that.
But A. I find it hard to believe her entire class (a first/second split) of 6 and 7 year olds had a perfect day... that none of them misbehaved, talked out of turn or got off task. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A FIRST GRADE CLASSROOM? It's crazy. Second, it doesn't sit well with me that after such a bad week last week, that she would single him out for one transgression... So I told her that, and I told her that this path we seem to be taking regarding managing his behavior doesn't sit well with me. I then finished by asking her to let me know in advance if she plans on not letting him participate in the gingerbread house making party in a week or two ... because if it hinges on his behavior, and he's not allowed to participate I will keep him home. I'm not putting him through that. He was so sad about missing out on the snowflakes and when I talked to him about throwing the napkin he was remorseful and said he threw it after his friend threw it at him. Regardless if that's what happened, I just feel like there's got to be a better way to manage him.
I am hesitating restarting meds because it truly changes his personality... he is a moody kid anyway, but the meds make him angry and mean.
Anyway, after my long letter to her, she requested a meeting... I told her she could call me, I don't want to take extra time off unless I have to.
This parenting shizz is hard.
|My girlfriend Jen's daughter Serenity. We had a Christmas party with her on Sunday.|
|Seth and his masterpiece|
|My Nolan buddy.|
|My Goddaughter Pais1ey|
|The three amigos|