Thursday, May 10, 2007

An Update

So let's see... the boys are sick. AGAIN. Last week they got over bronchiolitis, this week it seems to be some kind of nasty cold. Nolan's nose has been fucking disgusting... and now it seems that there is an added bonus of a stomach bug mixed in. Saturday night and Tuesday night he threw up in the middle of the night... and then his teacher noticed that he just wasn't himself yesterday. We stopped at Fred Meyers for a few necessities and he was so good in the store, downright agreeable and obedient. So of course he got a parting gift of a new hot wheel. I used to chastise Aaron for buying so many (truth be told we have an entire dresser drawer full of unopened hotwheels for him... we want to use them as bribes for potty training when the day comes.) but now it seems I can't stop buying him a new hotwheels anytime we are at the store. Oh well, it's better than candy and at least it's only a buck.

Anyhoo, we get home and are walking towards the stairs... I was carrying Seth in his carrier and my backpack... and nolan starts whining. I asked him what the matter was and he then bursts into tears. We are at the foot of our stairs at that point and I say "do you want up?" he sort of reaches for me and I leaned down and right as I go to pick him up he barfs. Projectile ... all over me. *sigh* at least I held myself together... but he was FREAKED out. I scooped him up and got him upstairs and cleaned up and then cleaned myself up and proceeded to bring seth and the groceries in from the porch and then hosed down the sidewalk.

I am happy to report that he didn't throw up last night though and seemed better this morning, we'll see. He is staying home today though... we'll see if he can make it back to school tommorrow.

On the Sethy front, we have TEETH! He was so dang crabby on Tuesday night, and I had noticed last weekend that you could see the teeth below the surface of the gums, but when I felt around in his mouth they hadn't broken through. They still hadn't on Tuesday night, but he was just SCREAMING and didn't want to eat...well I felt in there yesterday and low and behold... they broke through. Two bottom front teeth. My little man... I am going to miss those gummy smiles.

The boys are now officially sharing their bedroom... they are doing really well in there, it would be nice if they let us sleep past 6 am on the weekends though. They sleep longer on the weekdays of course... wtf is that about.

As for me, I'm doing well... been trying to get up at 4:30am and make it to the gym when they open at 5, so I can get a good hour of cardio in before I have to get ready for school. My goal is to go everyday, but yesterday I just couldn't drag my lazy ass out of bed and today I did make it... and after 15 minutes on the treadmill I was so ready to give up...but something made me hold it together and I fought for it and did 60 minutes. I do feel better now... but man it was a real fight to keep going.

I have literally tried everything I could think of since November to lose weight. I had every intention of meeting my first goal by my birthday in April... which I failed... I have come to the realization that I could live on nothing but water and celery and dammit to hell I would still barely lose anything unless I excercised. I've done weight watchers, I've done atkins, I've counted calories... kept them under 1500, 1400, 1300, 1200... and then decided screw it, I've done slim fast and now I am back to weight watchers.

I decided that my whole philosophy on losing weight to begin with after having the boys was that I wanted to do it the healthy way. Well cutting my calories that much really didn't do anything but make me feel like shit. And I know in my heart of hearts that I am not going to see the scale drop like it did before when I lost the weight... as I am doing it in a much healthier way... I think my metabolism took a beating when I did that and now I have to fix it. So I am accepting that my clothes from my prekid days may not fit this summer. And that I may lose only a very little bit a week or even a month... but I need to be healthy. I cannot afford to make myself sick like I did last time, and I just need to push myself to exercise and hang in there and at some point soemthing will give and I will start to look and feel better.

At least that's what I'm telling myself.

anyhoo, no pics today... I am updating at school, and don't have any pictures here.

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