Monday, March 06, 2006


I spent half of the weekend writhing in pain and wishing I was dead (ok, not dead... just not in pain anymore) and was visited late saturday night by the vomit fairy. fun.

I am feeling better, but still not 100%... tummy is shaky at best and I am petrified to eat, but not really that hungry anyway.

also, no news on my car. *sigh*

and since I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself can I just bitch about something openly and honestly for a second?

Let's see... I have a friend who I've known since she was born basically as she's just a bit younger than my sister. We grew up together, she ended up having a baby a few years ago and then eventually married another family friend, who my sister and I are extremely close to... We got along so great... esp after we became adults as I think we had more in common. Anyhoo, the marriage didn't work out and ever since she has cut not only me off from her life, but my family as well as other family friends... I don't know if she's worried that drama will ensue or that gossip will take place. I don't know. I sent her a birth announcement and we exchanged emails a few times and I thought things were going to eventually get back on track.

Then I looked at the calendar this morning and realize her daughter's birthday was 2 weeks ago and for the first time I got no invite to the party. does this piss me off? You betcha... it doesn't piss me off because I missed a 5 year old's birthday party... it pisses me off because goddammit, what the hell did I ever do to her?


Now my other complaint, and this person actually reads this thing, so I guess it's more like an open letter.

I have a friend ... a best friend I might've said at one time, though in the last two years she has shown me how blatantly wrong I am in that regard, that I've known since I was a sophomore and she was a senior. We have had many MANY many fun times together... partners in crime sort of thing. We've also had our moments that I'd like to I'm sure she would too. But through it all we managed to still be friends and when people would ask me if the friendship was really worth all the fight sometimes it took to keep it... I would say yes. I still say yes. You don't often meet people that you really connect with, and though we have many differences, and sometimes didn't handle them well... we connected.

Until I got married or she turned 30 or whatever the fuck the problem is. I got married, and pregnant around the same time as you recall. She was so supportive through much of the pregnancy... then she had some personal stuff go on, (that was resolved somewhat quickly) and dropped off the face of the earth. I had spoken to her in april of 2005, and then nothing until I caught her off guard when I called out of the blue back in October or November of 05. The kicker here is that Holly (another friend of mine and hers) and I called this girl ALL.THE.TIME. in those months. I know she read this journal too because she told me so, and do you think I ever got an email or a comment or a card or ANYTHING when Nolan was born?

yeah. That chapped my ass. I'll admit it. We finally gave up for a while and stopped calling her. We thought maybe she had moved out (she lived w/ her boyfriend)... but couldn't figure out why he wouldn't let us know since we were calling pretty frequently. So one day I decide to call again (it had been a few months since my last attempt) and she actually answered. I about crapped my pants... wasn't expecting a human voice on the other end of that line!

She played everything down. Nothing was wrong... and now that we were talking again she was the same ol' pal I'd had forever. It was wierd, but I didn't say anything. Then she and her boyfriend decided to go to the super bowl. We were going to get together before she went, but scheduling conflicts made it too difficult, and we said we'd get together after she got home.

I called her at LEAST 3 times over the first few weeks she was back and never a phone call in return. Like I said, I know you read this journal, and you obviously know I'm pregnant again and I just can't believe you haven't called or written or anything. WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?

And dude, it's been almost a full year since you've spoken to Holly... What's up with that? Seriously, we've all been friends for like 13 years... and we would NEVER treat you like that. NEVER. We've never just cut you out... I just don't understand what would possess you to do that. *sigh*

It's not like you'll answer this either so whatever. I'm just venting. I'm not calling you anymore, I'm done. You want to keep things going, then YOU need to call ME.

Nolan and grandma read together

oooh, new toys!

Nolan needs your help, his mother MUST.BE.STOPPED.

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