Wednesday, May 11, 2005

REALLY FUCKING PISSY

I should probably just go home today, but I don't really fucking feel like it. Just thought I'd mention that now the good probability is that we will close on Tuesday "but let's just call it Wednesday to be safe", and uh I bombed on a test, and I am really fucking tired, and I am really fucking frustrated. For two motherfucking cents I would shitcan the whole condo thing, I just don't care. I want a concrete fucking answer as to when we are closing... I am sick of this maybe shit, because if it gets pushed back and we have to move over Memorial Day Weekend, we are even more fucked. My stretchmarks itch/burn, I feel fat, I do NOT want to move over my baby shower, and that is exactly what is going to happen, as of now, hardly any people at all can even help... and most of those who can will be at my fucking shower... and if this all goes to hell in a handbasket, (which I am predicting)... that leaves us a week to find a place to live.

And I'm REALLY sick of people acting like I'm stressing out for no reason. Fair warning is if you tell me to not stress I might just fucking tell you to fuck the fuck off. I'm doing the fucking best I can. I am sick of my fucking teachers not being specific when they want something, and I don't want to be marked down for this shit. GOD FORBID they answer their fucking email. Seriously. Done. so fucking done it's not fucking funny.

I weighed myself this morning... that was my first mistake. Actually... the weighing wasn't the problem, it was the figuring of how many pounds stand between my weight today and my highest ever weight. I know I'm pregnant, and you know... don't bother commenting. Because I know it's stupid to feel like a failure, and feel like it was all for naught, but that's how I feel. And I don't particularly care to hear anyone elses take on it... I'd rather just wallow, cry and then get over it, because I will. I always do... I am not looking for comments on that particular subject... they are not going to do any good today; I just need to vent it out, and move on.

It's just one of those days.

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