Wednesday, February 23, 2005

The DILLY... yo.

*sigh* these breathing techniques I learned from the new prenatal yoga dvd I've been doing are coming in handy today. They really help to calm me down... or perhaps it's that I just fucking give up... maybe that's it.

So it looks like the deal we were signing up for on Monday (yes, being vague; I know) is not going to happen. Aaron's credit is almost as pure as the driven snow which they do not like, and I don't make enough money to carry the loan as a prime applicant to his co-applicant status. Oh, and even if I did they want 10% which ain't going to happen, so you know. Whatever.

This whole process sends me into fits for a number of reasons... one of them being the guy handling the process isn't as into us as I am to him apparently. Is it too much to ask that you CALL AND UPDATE ME ON WHAT'S GOING ON WITH MY FUCKING FUTURE MAN? I called him monday to let him know I'd be faxing over some documents that our other lender was willing to accept on Aaron's behalf, proving that he is credible and honest and pays his bills etc. I asked him to call me as soon as he knew anything so I could figure out some other stuff (where I'll be attending school) as soon as I knew. (two options of schools, depends on where we'll be living; and don't want to apply for financial aid until I know what school it is, but won't know what school it is until we fucking move. ) Anyway, I call the office this morning because 'brad' hasn't called me back.

Apparently brad was out for the day, and Jeannie the ever so helpful office manager asked if I could hold after I said that I felt my needs weren't being met in a timely manner, and granted; we just filled out the paperwork on Sunday, but this is a huge life decision, and I wrote the man a check for earnest money and I would appreciate a call to check in daily so I don't sit here and stew about it. After a few minutes 'Dave' the sales manager got on the phone and asked how I was doing, and gosh, wouldn't you know... Brad was just on the other line and he said I could call his cell phone! What a coinky-dink! So I did. Call brad.

Which is when he asked me again to see if my lender would do a certain type of loan, to which I replied (for the 3rd time now) "um.no." He then said he'd put the application through a total of 3 banks, and they weren't able to help, so he was going to call on some other resources.

I'm having fits because I am wondering how many credit inquiries I am racking up and is it fucking worth it? GAH. He advised me to call a place that I'd heard of and call him back. So I do. Same deal, 10% down but my income shouldn't be a problem... gee, now where to pull 10 grand out of our asses. *sigh* so Brad said he'd call me back, but I'm not hopeful.

Also, in doing some investigating for my next phase of schooling, it turns out to go to the branch that's further south (if we happen to move that way)... I need to take Calculus. You know... that's almost a deal breaker for me. Seriously. I am already wondering how I am going to get through an entire quarter of Math 107 (something to do with logical whatever...) and now they throw calculus at me? What I don't get is that the class listed in their prereq sheet is 'elemenary Math I'... the corresponding class to take at BCC is calculus... um, no. So I drafted an email wondering if a different math that focuses on elementary education would be more appropriate, but I haven't sent it. *sigh* if it turns out that I need to take calc. to get into this program then I'll drive the extra 20 minutes and just fucking go to the other branch.

In other words: shit.damn.GAH.

Aaron is stoked to pick up the new Gran Turismo game today, and the way this day has gone, how much do you want to bet it didn't come out? They've pushed the date back so much in the past year (I was going to buy it for him for his last birthday... his bday is 3/5.) I wouldn't be surprised if at the last minute it got pushed back. I hope not. The good thing is I'll probably be able to get my computer classwork done tonight as he sits in front of his new game.



Ben had another owie under his chin, I presume from Asa bunny thumping his head (you know, when a cat grabs something and then kicks it with both of his back feet... Asa is a champ at this and I'm surprised he hasn't severed ben's and molly's jugulars.) Anyway, I used Asa's sweater as a feeble attempt to keep the fucker from licking off the neosporin, but it's too big. Also, that's his towel. Do not sit on it, because he will sit and stare and give you the dagger eyes. That is his spot and not yours. mmkay?



So I may or may not have cut off the cuff of an old pair of Aaron's socks... and uh, it did the trick, much to ben's dismay.



This may only be funny to me (Aaron thinks I'm mean), and it may only be really funny if you have the audio to go with it, which sadly, I don't. Molly loathes being touched if she is under the blanket and hops around if you touch her growling and hissing and generally freaking out. She doesn't have the sense to come out from under the blanket and flipped herself on her back the other night when I was torturing her and proceeded to lie there and growl, even at Aaron who tried to help her out. Heh. Payback.

Monday, February 21, 2005

*yawn*

Lawdy I'm tired today. Could not fall asleep last night, was close to midnight the last time I looked at the clock. Could be because I slept in the car on the way home from Auburn yesterday, where we went to check out possible future digs. *sigh* I don't know if this will happen or not, but we could know as early as Friday if we will be moving out there. There are pros and cons and what ifs to think about and obsess over, but the bottom line is that we need to move. now.

Friday night was spent with Aaron's side of the family, as Friday was the first anniversary of his father's passing. It was a happy occasion, which was nice, as it seemed everyone was celebrating his life. Saturday we went to Kylie's 4th birthday party, that was fun, I got to see some family that lives on the other side of the state, and some that lives in Canada. It was great to hang out and chat. Plus we got to see Matt and Kelly which is always nice, as we don't get to see them much at all.

We had already asked Lori to be our son's Godmother, and asked Matt on Saturday when we saw him at the party. He said he'd be honored, and now all that's left is to ask Aaron's cousin Mike and his fiance'. We were supposed to go have dinner with Wili and Elizabeth after the party, but I was exhausted and not feeling well, so we took a rain check. I had had some digestive issues all day and was feeling uncomfortable at best.

Sunday we drove down to Tacoma to look at a house I hoped to hate, and thankfully I did. I just didn't want to move that far south... luckily it was in a shitty neighborhood, so we drove back up to Fife and went to look at some other options, ended up spending about 3 hours or so looking at floor plans and filling out paper work and yadda yadda yadda... and putting down 500 bucks in earnest money ... this shit is happening, and it's real and it's scary and I really hope we get approved! (too bad the floor plan I REALLY want is too much money. *sigh* it's always something though isn't it?) Then we drove out to look at neighborhoods in Auburn, and I was done at that point, so I laid my seat back and slept until we pulled up to the grocery store near home.

I might beg the question here... what is the fucking point of working on a grocery list for a damn week and then losing it? I hate the in between stops at the store between pay days because you end up spending more money than is necessary on shit you don't *really* need. But I forgot breathe right strips and spaghetti squash so I'm going to have to hit the store again at some point.

Speaking of spaghetti squash, whenever I make spaghetti, I make Aaron noodles and I have the squash. (There is no WAY he'll even consider eating the squash.) He always inspects his to make sure it's noodles and not the squash, it kills me. And if I ask him how it tastes, sometimes he'll look at me suspiciously and say 'why'?

Let's see... what else...How about some pictures to tide y'all over until the next time I get around to updating...



One of the perks of an early morning commute.



The heat meister



I believe I actually said to Aaron "if our kid is half as cute as Ben then we've got it made." heh... seriously, could you not eat him up here?



I just love this picture of Kylie with her cake... the look on her face says it all.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Beep Beep Woo Woo

I love that song by Ludacris...Get back I think it's called. LOVE.IT.

In other news I am pretty confident about my standing on my poli-sci test this morning. Usually I have confidence that I did ok, this time I was surprised to see how much I knew. Though my confidence that that will translate to a decent grade is not high... our teacher is kind of a dick. He is fluent in English but doesn't fucking grasp some of the slang or the sayings. I recall thinking 'uh-oh' before using the phrase "pass muster" not once but twice on a question about how a bill becomes a law. *sigh* I have little faith in the smug bastard. The other girls who sit in front of me were talking the other day about what a dick he is, and they're right... he's gone from being kind of funny and charming to being impatient and rude and unclear on his directions. He is particularly rude to this kid that sits next to me, and one time after belittling him in front of the class I turned to him and said "what.a.FUCKING.dick." he started to laugh and said "yeah, well at least it's not just me who's thinking that."

On a stranger note... he handed out a 'short answer' portion of the test... and first of all, PAL, short answers do not consist of a question like: Describe in detail the constitutional differences between the House and the Senate. and then leave 8-10 blank lines underneath it. that's not a short answer dickface, that's a fucking essay question. We had about 13 of those, which were for the most part no sweat... though I choked on the requirements to be President... I remembered you had to be a natural born citizen, have lived here for 10 years and have to be 35 years old... but he left a ton of lines and kept reiterating that the amount of lines should dictate to us EXACTLY how much writing was necessary to answer the question. If he said that once, he said it a million times, oh and then repeated time and again "do not write in the margins please, stop at the period. (He had placed a period at the end of the lines under each question.) and then said " absolutely do not write under the last line or in the margins please... stay on the lines." What a control freak.

I have been tweaking the pregnancy journal a bit and for the most part am done... I want to do something different to the banner, but my adobe photoshop is under some serious stress... wigging out like crazy. I also have been having problems upon problems with fucking popups man... I have the google toolbar, and downloaded a firewall at zonealarmDOTcom today (which could be why the stupid adobe photoshop isn't working, I don't know)... but I'm still getting fucking popups. ARG.

Valentines day was pretty low key... I know MANY people lament the very existence of the day, and perhaps it is a bit contrived and marketed mercilessly etc. But for me... it's nice. I am thankful for another excuse for Aaron and I to chill out together and be sweet and romantic and all that... He and I were both single damn near 10 years before we met... and that means no relationships in that span of time... dating here and there, but nothing remotely relationship like... so for me it's a treat to celebrate it. Cheesy maybe, but I always dreamed about spending Valentine's Day with someone special and now I get to. It's nice.

I made shrimp fettucine and garlic toast, and a pudding parfait thing for dessert. We also watched 'The Notebook'... which was sweet. Then we went to sleep and My sweet husband got all huffy when I insisted he roll over NUMEROUS times because he was snoring in my face. Of course in the light of morning he isn't huffy anymore, and feels bad for snoring in my face. Seriously, we have got to do something about the snoring. As it is I am up 4-5 times a night peeing... yes I know I could stop this with drinking less water, but I'm thirsty in the evening dammit! So I get up routinely to pee, and then stumble back to bed and pray for sleep to come again quickly, and I go to lay on my left side (because it's ALWAYS when I *need* to lay on my left side) and Mr. huffiness is snoring right there in my face. He doesn't want to roll over because he's already been laying on that side... I know how that is... hence the need for him to roll the fuck over. (I say that with love by the way.) *sigh* I think this will be less of an issue when the baby is here and I am not up constantly peeing... oh wait, I'll be up constantly nursing a baby... that's right.

Aaron you have GOT to STOP snoring!!! (as if he has any control over it, I know.)

Let's see... what else...

I did inform Aaron last night that he needs to tell his son that I would prefer to not get any bigger than this size righ tnow, and he needs to make ample use of his space in there, because I am not having any more of this growth. fuck all, I feel huge... I looked in the mirror this morning at my profile and sighed, and Aaron laughed and said "you're PREGNANT." yeah yeah yeah... I just cannot imagine feeling bigger than I already do, and tomorrow is only the halfway mark... holy cow, how the hell am I going to wait another 20 weeks? Just when it starts flying, it also starts slowing down. :-)



Asa waits for his chance to pounce



Ben feels the need to remind us that it's winter time and the heat should be on because it's only 72 degrees in the living room, and he's about to freeze to death.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

ADAGIO

I am late to the game here, but I have wanted to mention that since we started trying to conceive I have been a tea nut. specifically green tea and red raspberry leaf tea, and then I started to broaden my horizons and when I saw the Adagio Tea offer I had to take them up on it. Check out their site, buy some... it's yummy. :-)

Friday, February 11, 2005

For the Record

Keep your eyes peeled on the pregnancy journal to the left there, as there will hopefully be a gender update on the babe.

Also, when asked, Ben and Asa don't much care if it's a boy or girl but Molly is rooting for the females because she wants to even out the testosterone level... though I think since Ben and Asa are fixed, there is already a testosterone shortage... specifically since her voice is deeper than theirs put together. Anyhoo, wish us luck!

Thursday, February 10, 2005

HOLA

Ok, so now I don't feel so dumb. I recently purchased the Carly Simon album:Reflections. One of my favorite songs on there is 'You're so Vain' and I swear I have listened to the first verse over and over to try and figure out the line " Your scarf it was apricot, you had one eye in the mirror as you watched yourself..." I couldn't figure out that last word, and kept thinking it sounded a lot like 'gavaught'... turns out it's 'gavotte'... a french dance of old... ooookkkkaaaayyy. At least I was right. I have a long history of thinking a song says one thing when it really says something else.

Anyhoo,

we went out to dinner last night with our friends Chad and Sara, and we had SUCH a good time. They are due to be married this spring, and I *love* hearing about wedding planning now, especially since none of it is my responsibility! I did offer to help though, and meant it... it's tough to pull a wedding off, and I can totally sympathize. We sat and chatted for the better part of 3 1/2 hours, it was great. Sara and I are helping to plan our 10 year high school reunion, and it was great to hear that someone else has reservations about it too. I've often heard that the 10 year reunion is ... interesting... not petty or pissy, but people are guarded, and I've heard that the 20 year reunion is much better.

It was also VERY cool to hear someone (FINALLY!) applaud the name Maverick. Though they did get a good laugh when I said there was no way if we did name our son (if it is a boy) Maverick, that he would be called Rick or Ricky. Think about it... our last name is Martin. Not cool. Funny, but not cool. But it was neat to have both of them say they liked the name instead of the usual response we get. Anyhoo, I think Aaron and I have settled on one boy name so far, so I feel good going into the ultrasound tomorrow... I just wanted to go in knowing that there was at least one or two names for either gender we could agree on and actually both like... we have several girls' names we like, and now we have at least one boy's name.

So I don't know if I mentioned that I no longer like anything that tastes remotely minty. (ew.) My favorite gum is intolerable now, I don't even like chocolate chip mint ice cream. Just the thought gets the gag reflex going. Ick. Well, I switched to Cinnamon gum, and all was well. I buy the big packages at Costco because I'm like a smoker in that I chew a pack a day. (Not at once... THROUGHOUT the day.) Anyhoo, I picked up the pack this last costco trip on Friday, and dammit to hell... Trident Cinnamon gum now has 'Xylitol'... Or as I like to call it "that dentist taste." Seriously, the aftertaste is EXTREMELY reminiscent of a trip to the dentist, and I HATE it. So I'm trying out Big Red... though I am detecting a tiny bit of dental aftermath taste. *sigh* I realize it's probably just me, and my wacked out hormones... I wish that all sweets tasted like a trip to the dentist. That would help my whole 'controlled weight gain' thing. (Though I think by now, that's blown out of the water.)



Because laying on a puzzle box is comfortable.



Molly likes to surf the computer with daddy.



Asa looks a tad pissy here, no?



Matt last weekend when we celebrated his birthday.

Monday, February 07, 2005

4 More Sleeps!

4 more sleeps until we get to see the baby at the ultrasound on Friday! I am stoked. :-) Weekend was pretty good... busy, and fast mostly.

Friday we went to the service out at the military cemetary for Aaron's grandpa. It was really cool... They really go out of their way to pay tribute to veterans, and it was just ... awesome. Sad, but what an honor... it's hard to put into words I guess. After that we all went up to Aaron's Uncle's house and visited, sort of a wake I guess. After that, we checked out some listings of townhouses in the Federal Way area, and bah... some were ok, but for the most part, there is a reason they were so cheap. Ick.

After that we hit Costco and went home to take a nap because we were pooped. We got up around 8 and went for some Taco Time... veggie soft taco... mmmmmm. Then stopped by my parents house to pick up the movie Ray... LOVE IT! Love it even more than I thought I would.

Saturday morning we cleaned the shit out of the house, and it never ceases to amaze me how much crap we acquire and then subsequently throw out. The amount of trash is just mind boggling. We got rid of a lot of stuff, and then met up with our Realtor who showed us some properties, and might I add that Aaron will have to be the deciding factor on these because I like everything I see. The first one was .. .eh, but a lot bigger than where we're at now, so that was the romance for me. The second one was so freakin' cute and bright and open and newish... I LOVED it! Though it's only about 200 square feet bigger or so than what we have now, and it just seemed tiny. But I did love it. a lot. And it had a security gate. *sniff* But it was also a bit far for Aaron to drive to work. *sigh* but it was cute. :-)

Our realtor is none other than hubby to fellow blogger/seattleite/mama to be Khara, and it was a trip to meet someone in real life that I've read about on the internet! Khara, you and I will seriously have to do lunch soon!

Saturday evening we went over to my mom's for dinner to celebrate Matt's birthday, and that was a lot of fun. Lori and Seth came over afterwards and I passed out promply by midnight.

Sunday we finished up the housework, got groceries and Aaron went to my parent's house for a superbowl party that my dad was hosting, and mom and Lori and I spent the day together. We did lunch at the Olive Garden (I LOVE their salad... so good.) and then bummed around the mall for the rest of the afternoon. It was fun, and I forget how nice it can be to just walk around the mall and window shop. We got back about an hour before the game ended and I indulged in the super bowl buffet... sandwiches, chips, cookies... though I didn't get crazy. We went home and I finished up some homework and promptly crashed around 9. That weekend just FLEW by.

Pics to come later.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

DON'T START WITH ME

My dad left a snarky comment about my lack of 'daily' postings in the guestbook, and while he's right, I haven't been updating daily I would just like to say "don't start with me old man."

As of late I have a generally piss poor attitude about this blog/journal.. I sort of hate that it's accessible by anyone and everyone, and I sort of hate that people I don't like can log on and read about me, and quite frankly; I'm tired ... TIRED of feeling like I need to censor myself. I don't mean I want to trash people or whatever, but if I say something about how I hate the president or how I think anyone who truly thinks the president is doing a good job and is an honest man, you're an idiot... I worry that I may offend you. Believe it or not, I have some republican friends/readers/relatives and I am not trying to alienate them, but dammit... I should be able to say what I want without offending them. *sigh*

That and the fact that I have a generally piss poor attitude about everything, and I don't want to start getting hate mail or people to stop reading because I'm a whining asshole. I am not an unhappy person, but the hormones have turned me a bit upside down. I started at one point, writing a gratitude journal that I kept in my purse, but then there are days like yesterday when I see no reason to be upbeat... NOTHING makes me happy and I sit and fight back the tears because lately, once I start crying I cannot stop. and I don't want pity, or even sympathy... I am not fishing for compliments or emails telling me to keep my chin up, because even though I like them... they make me feel even worse. I am just trying to get a handle on this shit without stressing too much...

I read an article today that reported that there are studies showing that women who are under a considerable amount of stress in their 2nd trimester have children who later go on to have ADD. Grreeeeaaat. So I am eliminating all stressors in my control. Those that are out of my control... I am just trying to deal without becoming all 'end of the world' about it.

In other news, I am up another motherfucking 6lbs... which, in the interest of honesty here, brings total weight gain during this pregnancy to a whopping 30 lbs. *sigh* I cried a little about that already. I am so afraid all of my work in the past will be for naught, and I am concerned that gaining too much will cause problems... and fuck it people, I'm Goddamn hungry and I'm counting motherfucking calories... I do NOT think 1100-1200 calories a day for a fucking pregnant woman is unreasonable!!!

For more news on my doc appt, check out the pregnancy journal.

Anyway.



Ben sat like this for a good 10 minutes before I startled him and he went back to crouching.



Molly loves the top of the chair, and if you're in it and lean your head back, she'll sniff your hairline.



"AGAIN with the camera?"

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Fuck it.

So we were approved for a loan for a home last weekend. Good news right? The funniest fucking part is we were approved for an astronomical amount that we couldn't afford now, let alone when we will be living on one freakin' paycheck. So I contact our lender today and have him work up some numbers for us... what the primary payment would be for different prices. *sigh* how does 10 grand cheaper in list price result in only a 40 dollar difference per month? So, though I plan on doing SOMETHING to supplement my income whether it be to watch kids or whatever, I am not counting that because to me it's not stable enough to count on in our budget.

So I have been trying to work the numbers in our favor and man. It's fucking depressing. We are going to be the little broke kids for the next few years. We all pay our dues at some point though, and I guess this is just our time. :-)

My political science teacher wants us to watch the state of the union tonight as homework, but I am not down for that shit. I'll read up on it when all is said and done, but I cannot stand to hear that weasely little fucker's voice for more than 2 seconds at a time. I don't buy a word of it anyway, lying cocksucker.

The satchel hate has reached epic proportions as of late, and I swear.to.God. it takes the self restraint of a saint to not go in there and kick him right in the nuts. GAWD. He is such an ass... an idiotic, annoying fucker. I have been trying to handle it better because all the irritation and stress is not good for the peanut but damn... it's hard. I did manage to bite my tongue today when he said "huh?" 4 times in a row and just E.NUN.CI.ATE.ED. EV.ER.Y. SYLL.A.BEL. VE.RY. LOUD.LY. I admit, I may be a dick but it's better than screaming "get a FUCKING HEARING AID!"

Aaron's grandfather's ashes are being placed this friday, at the same cemetery that my Grandma is at, and no, I've never been to see my Grandma's grave because it is much easier to live in denial if you've never seen the proof. When I was writing down the address yesterday I searched for her name on the gravesite locator and it came up... the instant I saw it I almost barfed and proceeded to blink back tears for a few minutes. When I got home and Aaron mentioned that we should pay a visit to her grave I burst into tears and I think I may have freaked him out a bit. This is a sensitive topic anyway, but with the preggo hormones it just hits a touch harder. 4.5 years and the wound still bleeds. A lot.



Asa wonders which love is stronger ... his love for the box or the cord that is dangling seductively in front of him.



Still pondering...



The cord wins again!