Wednesday, November 12, 2003

CAFFEINE FIEND

Ok, since I have stopped taking Metabolife... well it's been about 5 months anyway, I have missed the surge of energy I used to get from it. I quit taking it because all of the propaganda against it was scary. That and my mom used to harangue me constantly... I had taken Phen-fen back in the day and with my dad's stroke history and the possible heart problems blah blah you're gonna die a young death cakes... I just quit it. Truthfully, and as sappy and weak as this may make me sound, before I met Aaron I never put much thought into my future. Well... not in terms of taking care of myself. I lost weight because I was tired of being as overweight as I was... not because of the health implications. (Though that should have been the first reason.) Once Aaron and I met and became serious these little thoughts would invade my mind at night like... "what if you have bad cholesterol and your arteries are clogging and the metabolife is going to be the push that your body needs to freak out and stop working?" ... or "what if your heart works fine now, but because of the stress you put on it from the Phen-fen and metabolife, one day you will be pregnant and not have a strong enough heart to sustain you and the baby?" I had wierd, gloomy, freaktastic thoughts like that. So I stopped taking it.

Really, the Metabolife wasn't affecting my weight loss anyway. Other than keeping water weight down to a minimum and giving me enough energy to tow a car using my ten speed... heh, seriously. So, now and then I get a craving for the surge of energy I miss... and oddly enough, I never used to notice any difference when I drank coffee. Now it's awesome, because I'll have a cup and within 15 minutes I am just racing... I had a big ol' cup this morning and my fingers are just flying now. :-) I also feel like I need to go running... that's what I love. The feeling of needing to be up and moving it gives me. I guess it also gives me a tendency to ramble, and for that I apologize. :-)

I have to register for classes soon, and I'm a little bit nervous. I'll share something with you here that I haven't shared with many people. I have decided not to pursue a degree in Psychology as I had originally planned. No... I've decided to follow my heart, because even though I won't make as much money as a therapist, I know that in this profession I will be happy. And that is what counts. I have decided to be an elementary school teacher. This is a decision that scares the pants off of me because of the finality of it. For years... YEARS PEOPLE! I have been waffling on what to do with my life. I would pick something then change my mind 15 minutes later. I have decided to do this because I crave the classroom environment. I miss my job at the daycare so much sometimes I think about going back...then realize that I'm not up for going back to a job that paid a little over minimum wage, and shitty hours. Not to mention there is nowhere to go in that business. I miss the kids, and activities... I miss being "Miss Allison"... though by the time I am an actual teacher I'll be Mrs. Martin... that revelation yesterday kept me grinning for hours.

So yes, I am scared about registering, because I know I have a full load of tough ass classes that I need to take. This quarter has been so demanding, and next quarter I am expecting it to be even moreso... Aaron will be going to days and I am nervous about how I'll manage my time. Mainly just because this is hard... working full time and going to school full time. It's hard and it sucks, but I know that it won't be forever.

I might add I got a letter from the good folks who handle my student loans, and right now if I were to start paying them off on a ten year plan my payments would be about 80 bucks a month. I got 3 years left to get my teaching certificate and I will go for my master's immediately, so chalk it up to four more years... I am scared to see what my payments will be like when this is all over. It's enough to make my stomach hurt.

Anyhoo, more pictures....



One of the things I am famous for is trying to mesh all of my friends together. It's worked out pretty well in some instances and not so well in others. One thing I am so happy about though is that Aaron and Holly have hit it off, nothing is better than when some of the most important people in your life get along swimmingly.



Aaron's brother Dan and his wife Julie, they are newlyweds themselves, as they just celebrated one year of marriage this summer. :-)



Corey would probably kick my ass if he saw this picture of him and Lori on here, but I don't think he reads the site so I'll take my chances.



I like this picture of my dad. People used to say I looked like him, now that I'm older I hear more frequently that I look like my ma, what do you think? (there's a pic of her in one of the previous two entries.)



This is a kid that Lori and I grew up with, he came with some friends of mine and it was good to see him all grown up. That's him singing 'Let's Stay Together' by Al Green. It was a hoot. :-)



That's me with Corey and Connor... man, Lori and I used to play GI Joe's with these guys, and we'd make up games like 'The Runaway Kids' and "Cha-Cha dog..." heh, we had a blast. We also did a lip sync show when I was about... 11? That would have made Connor about 9, Corey 8 and Lori 7. We did a few songs, but the main one was Parents Just Don't Understand by Will Smith. Connor was the narrator/rapper and I played the girlfriend. Lori was the mom and Corey was the dad and we also played other small parts in the song as well. The best part was the giant cardboard porsche we made... I WOULD KILL for snapshots of that performance.



I love this picture of Louie and Sue, so sweet!



This is a good one of Aaron and his sister Brandi. They look a lot alike don't they?



This is what happens when I drink beer and sing Karaoke. I forget I'm in the lounge of a chinese restaurant, and mistake it for an arena of screaming fans. I get into it man. I am singing 'Fancy' there by Reba Mcentyre. *shudder*


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