Tuesday, October 14, 2003

C-C-C-C-COLD

It's fucking freezing in here; My fingers have shrunk to a third of their normal size. My nose is cold; I'm shivering and as Holly would say... I could cut glass right now. heh, if you don't get that email me... fuck it's cold in here!

So I spent last night doing homework and jotting down reception hall information while watching Law and Order SVU. You know what's funny? I used to have a crush on the guy who plays Elliot Stabler. Big crush. now I think he's kinda funny looking. I don't know why I felt the need to tell you that; It's just one of those mornings.

I am really fucking sore today. sore enough that when David, our ups guy handed me the thing to sign, it hurt to reach for it, hurt worse to hold it and sign it, then hurt again when I handed it back to him. I met with the trainer last night,and she kind of pissed me off. In retrospect she was challenging me in ways I don't challenge myself. Granted; it's been me that devised my own workout plan and eating habits that have enabled me to lost the 90 or so pounds and keep it off within a range of about 5lbs. (If I am lax at the gym or eat what I want with no regard to health; I seem to rest within this 5lb range from my lowest weight yet.) I have challenged myself a whole heckuva lot in the past few years.

But this crazy bitch wanted me to do stuff I have NEVER done. Go figure! I didn't mind the lunges with the 6lb medicine ball... the 100ft of lunges I might add... then the squats with the medicine ball. I can hang with those. It was hard, but it wasn't impossible. I forgave her a little bit for the other 100ft of lunges in which the bitch made me hold that fucking medicine ball out in front of me and bring it to one side, turning my body with it, and then to the other. Which of course resulted in much leg shaking and perspiration. But I got through it. But... we were only into the workout about 10 minutes. ARg. I had 45 more to go... it was not looking good.

She took me in the weight room. I hate the weight room. I feel out of place in the weight room. All the muscle head guys and buff chicks... I feel so out of place. Not to mention the fact that you know, I am coming to terms with the fact that I am no longer 260someodd pounds. I still feel the same and even when I was that size, I never felt 'that size'... you know? without a mirror I am the same person to myself. I just feel a little better. I don't recognize the weight loss much unless I see pictures of myself. Anyway, when she had me doing some of the stuff in there (for instance the jumping squats, where you squat down, put you hands on the floor the jump and kick your legs back so you are now in a push up stance, then jump so your legs are back up where they were and stand up. First of all that shit is harder than it looks... I was afraid I was going to skin my knees! Then she had me holding 15lb weights, stepping up onto the weight lifting bench. I wouldn't have been too confident doing that without the weights, but with them, my legs were so shaky. I was nervous and scared and DID NOT WANT TO FUCKING DO IT. I told her I didn't feel comfortable, and like every jerk off gym teacher I ever had as a child she sluffed me off and said 'you'll be fine, let's go'. I wanted to dig my heels and say 'no, I don't feel fine... I don't want to do this.' But I didn't. Why? Because I didn't want any bullshit pressure from a perfectly built athletic looking trainer... I feel inferior enough in there, and any pressure from her would have just pissed me off and made the session worse.

She had me work with this inflatable disk too; you stand on it and work with those bands for toning arms. I had never worked with one before and felt like the worlds biggest ass trying not to fall off of it, whilst toning my biceps and triceps. Overall I am glad the session is over, and I will NOT be purchasing any training appointments. They are way too expensive anyway, and beyond that; I don't like the pressure. I learned a lot of new exercises, and I will make myself use the weight room; but I don't need anyone breathing down my neck to make me work harder.




Lori and I about two weeks ago, on our way out to have a beer at Oktoberfest in Burien.




That same night we went down to Louie's for some Karaoke and Aaron and I took great pleasure in filling lori's camera up with pictures of us. :-) She erased most of them, there were some really funny ones. pictures of our scalps, our knees, us pretending to moon the camera, our nostrils... heh anyhoo, we would take one shot and try to do the opposite one next. So above you have the left profile ...



and here is the right!

We're geeks! we have nothing better to take pictures of!


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