Monday, September 15, 2003

WHAT NASAL PASSAGES?

***I have taken an assload of cold medicine this morning as well as an abundance of nasal spray... so I apologize for the random rambliness and hideous typos that I am sure are to follow....***

Someone stole my nasal passages and I.want.them.back. They must've been stolen, because they no longer exist. I am not shitting you, I literally cannot breathe through my nose at all. This phenomenon has left me so absolutely bewildered, I was found this morning peering up my nose with a maglite and shaving mirror. Usually I would imagine there is a tunnel of some sort to carry oxygen among other things... this morning I had no such tunnel. I had a wall of nose in there... nothing was getting through. I woke up at 1:13am, 4:28 am, 5:02 am, and 6:15 am... each time because I dreamt I was choking. The last time was worse, as the entire inside of my mouth was completely bone ass dry. I wished for death right then and there. I tried everything I could think of last night to remedy this situation... breathing in steam... uhhh if you can't breathe through your nose, this one doesn't really work. Fresh air... though that is really more for chest colds, not head colds... at least in my experience. I tried 4-way nasal spray and vick's sinex... and you know they both have a history of helping, but last night only after about a bazillion sprays and me scrunching up my nose and attempting to breathe did I get relief. And even then after about 10 minutes, no more breathing. Fuck. I feel ok; despite being tired as freakin hell, but the inability to breathe out my nose is zapping my will to do anything. I hate this.

I may even try Ashley's method of boiling water and then putting vick's vapo rub in the water, and inhaling the vapors... I've done that before, and it was disgusting... I tasted vicks for like three hours after... but at this point, I'm about as desperate as I"m willing to get. Any ideas?

So... my weekend. Friday night was spent on the couch, as I had a sore throat (the induction portion to this hell I'm in apparently), Lori came over and taunted me with her popcorn chicken, and we watched 'The Life of David Gale'. Have you seen that movie? That is one fucked up movie. First of all, let's ignore the glaring irritation of the mindless banter between Kate Winslet's character 'Bitsy Bloom' (which let's be honest... that name is in it's own category of irritation completely.) and her intern friend who's name is not nearly as catchy... Dave maybe? Anyway, I think the dialogue between the two may have meant to paint a portrait of an eventual romantic sub plot between the two, but I think that storyline ended up on the cutting room floor. All you end up with is this arrogant bitch who takes every opportunity to strip 'dave' of any and all credibility because a) he is male, and b)he is an intern, and c) SHE is the reporter... don't you freakin forget it. Anyway, to make a long story short... there are a few twists and turns that are not aptly explained which makes for a confusing movie in the short run. If you stick with it to the end though, it all kinda makes sense... but at the same time it is one fucked up movie.

During the movie, I noticed that Lori and I have a common trait. We like to talk a lot and ask questions during movies. Not just little comments, we debate about them with ourselves, with each other and aloud... it doesn't bother me because I do it too, but I always wonder if it pisses Aaron off. I get kind of exhuberant about it sometimes... like in memento, he kept pausing it for me to ask questions and say stuff like "Yeah, but why would ANYONE do something like that? Where is the logic? and furthermore..." you get the picture. But Aaron is the most patient person I've ever met, and swears it doesn't bother him. He does have permission to put his hand in my face, and 'brickwall' me if it gets out hand though. :-)

Saturday I was up after 5 hours of sleep, unable to rest any longer... I cleaned the house a bit, and then took some drowsy cold meds and proceeded to drift in and out of sleep during the movie 'She Devil'. Aaron had left me to my own devices for much of the day; as he went boating with one of his best friends. I went to a Mary Kay party at my cousin's house, and had a really nice time. It ended up being a small gathering, and there was lots of girl talk to be had. I came away with a nice visit and some new foundation. :-)

Aaron and I braved the Walmart crowds to get some more cold medicine and a couple movies... I barked 'EXCUSE ME, COMING THROUGH' at approximately 4 people... apologizing each time to Aaron for being trashy. But seriously, I fucking hate the people at Walmart, and you know what, I hate myself for it too; because something they pipe into that store fucking freezes my brain and I become one of the mindless idiots stopping in the middle of the damn aisle to stare aimlessly at a box of 'equate brand bran flakes'... gah. Then when the cashier asked Aaron for his ID so he could purchase an R rated movie I forgot my social manners and said (quite rudely I might add) "WHY?" Aaron said "I think it's for the movie" I looked at the woman across from me, and said 'does he really look like he's 16 or younger? The man is 31 years old." and she said "I sorry maam, I hab to put in seestem." I answered back in my usual sophisticated manner "WELL THAT'S GAY." Aaron just laughed and once again I apologized for my outburst on the way to the car. Man, I'm surly as hell when I'm sick.

I then went home and slept and watched Felicity. Aaron got home from work around 8:30, and we went to Azteca for dinner. Sunday morning I was up at 5:30 once again (WTF?) and finally was able to fall back sort of asleep around 8 ish, which means I laid there till about 10. I got up, ate breakfast, sifted through the sunday ads, watched Felicity and painted my toenails. In the afternoon I took a nap with the cats and when Aaron got home from work we split a totino's pizza and fell asleep while watching the football game.

Aaron's friend Willie came by the house around 5 and I made a chicken and rice casserole for dinner and they played a bunch of video games while I roamed from room to room in my suda-fed haze.

As you can see this entry really can't get anymore fricken boring. So I leave you with this...



Apparently when you give Asa the bastard catnip, he starts fiendin' for blood. Note how attractive I look in my 'save water, drink beer' t-shirt. Class all the way baby.



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