Thursday, August 21, 2003


What the hell does gubernatorial mean anyway? I don't really care... it's just a wierd word that I can't get out of my head this morning.

Our new sales guy earned himself a nickname yesterday. Well, not one I'd ever call him... to his face. Tico the crazy Brazilian. All because of his outfit. I should preface this by saying he's actually a nice guy, and doesn't get on my nerves at all. Self sufficient, and keeps to himself... a receptionist's dream! If I had to guess, I would say he's in his mid to late 40's... probably more mid than late. Grayish hair... in a distinguished way though, and I think he has a beard as well as a moustache. Anyway, he's tan too; can't tell if it's a biological hue or if he worships the sun. Anyhoo, he came in yesterday wearing a fitted black short sleeve v-neck. Tucked into cream colored linen pants, cinched with a leather belt, and complete with some brown shoes that if you weren't paying attention looked kinda like sandles. They were slip-ons anyway which counts as the same. The whole ensemble screamed 'eccentric Brazilian millionaire'. I could just see him on some plantation in Rio, with a straw hat on, giving tours of his palatial estate. OR something. Basically the outfit made me pause, giggle and take a second thought. Linen pants... black shirt. IT SCREAMS COMEDY PEOPLE!

Ok, with all the virus shit going on, we were told to update our computers at work. This sent Satchel into a panic / frenzy. "I don't know how to do that.... can somebody do it for me? How do you do it? Anyone?" I think most of us froze when he started asking for help... as when it deals with technology, you might as well just tell him to move the fuck out of the way and do it yourself. Tico the crazy brazilian took the bait (heh, new guy) and squared him away. Fast forward about an hour and I hear him asking John "hey John, can you help me out with the cell phone stuff?" there's a pause and I hear John say "uhh, sure. What do you need help with?" Satchel responds "everything. How do you do it?" longer pause. and John says "um... could you be a little more specific?" (note: the cell phone stuff that we deal with is usually an involved process. It requires spending a lot of time on the phone, and appears to be a gigantic pain in the ass.) So John walks him through it... the best he can, because Satchel wasn't prepared in any way shape or form... in fact he didnt even have the necessary stuff to do it, he was just 'inquiring'. This is like the 8th or 9th time he's inquired on how to do this shit. About 3 hours later, John is out of the office and I hear Satchel bugging Kevin about getting something for him. Kevin told him to chill out, he'd do it as soon as he finished his lunch. Satchel says "ooh, good. I know what you can help me with while you're eating then." What a rude fuck. I heard Kevin audibly bristle. "okkkk" the next words out of satchels mouth "How do you do the cell phone stuff?" No shit. John had just spent 45 minutes going over it with him that morning. Kevin was silent for a second and said "fine, but you are going to get yourself a notebook and take notes because this is the 3rd or 4th time I've gone over it with you." When kevin came out to get a fax I told him that genius had spent time with John doing the exact same shit that morning and he just shook his head. What do you expect? Satchel's been sending me his sales orders to keep track of for over a year... almost 2 and last week he couldn't send me one correctly to save his soul. They all came through with wierd file extensions or not attached... it took 5 tries before I got it. He needs to just call it a day and go home and master the remote control for his tv and craftmatic adjustable.

I watched part of Phonebooth last night. I ended up fast forwarding it through to the end. Why? Because Colin Farrel bugs me... at least in that movie he does. And the sniper dude's voice was enough to make me want to kick something. To find out at the end that it was keifer Sutherland... perfect. I can't stand him either. Keifer... what the fuck kind of name is that anyway? I went to school with a guy named keever... what are people thinking? That's like the new popularity of the name gage for boys... Gage... Gage... I swear to you every time I hear that as a name I think of an air pressure guage on a bike pump. Arg.

I want another tattoo. I have been thinking about it a lot lately... my mom will shit when she reads this. She despises the two I already have. I don't know exactly what I want... maybe a calf length hula girl on the outside lower leg...? NOT. Something small for sure.. and discreet.

Well I've run out of shit to say for today, so here ya go:

The other night I went to bed with a clean living room and the newspaper in a neat pile under the coffee table. Apparently, slipping and sliding on the ads is a whole lot of fun. That mess is 99.9% Asa. Ben sat on the coffee table like he is in the picture for most of the night I'm sure. He sleeps on the tv guide on the table every night. Wierdo.


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