Friday, August 29, 2003

PUT THE LIME IN THE COCONUT

I did two entries yesterday, so if you missed the second one scroll on down. :-)

I have to say thanks to Miss Robyn who linked to me yesterday. I now have a few more readers on my notify list which makes me feel the need to write a little better... but also really happy! I saw my visitor stats go through the roof yesterday and man, that's a nice feeling.

I have a few things to say about the VMA's last night. I enjoyed the opening act with Britney, Christina and Madonna... I think it would have been better if Madonna had finished off 'Like a Virgin' before heading into 'Hollywood' but whatever. I dug the fact that once Madonna was on stage, Britney and Christina were basically no more than dancers, but dude how wierd is Britney's voice? Irritating man. Chris Rock was killing me; particularly when he said he didn't think Ashton was in love with Demi; but was just punking Bruce Willis. Such an obvious joke; yet that's the first time I've heard it. The rest sort of blends together... I'm not as obsessed about the show as I was last year.

So, I may have mentioned before that lately I am regressing to childhood by being obsessed with coloring books... yeah. I know. I even went on ebay on bought a few. You can't find normal fucking coloring books in the stores anymore. They're all activity books with gay little puzzles and word finds and such. I just want plain coloring books. I usually break em out when we are watching a movie (because I am incapable of just sitting and watching the movie... theaters are almost torturous at times for me.) The other night Aaron got home early; around 9:30 or so. There I am sitting on the couch, watching Felicity and coloring in my Disney Princesses color book. Oh yeah, and I had some green mud mask on my face in various 'troublesome' spots. I felt so attractive and grown up, let me tell ya. It's a wonder he doesn't run screaming sometimes. :-D

The other night I picked up some of those Tangerine Sours by Altoids. They are kind of like Sour Patch Kids, but are a hard candy. The tangerine ones are good; they also have Citrus Sours... and those taste like ass, but I digress. Anyway, Aaron and I were sitting there and I remembered they were in my purse so I grabbed the can and said "here I want you to try one of these." Aaron being the sweet, trusting guy he is didn't even question what they were and popped one in his mouth. I wish I had thought to have the camera ready... It was absolutely the best sour face ever. Better than when you give a baby a pickle. He jumped a little upon impact. Heh, I think his eyes watered too. When his mouth unpuckered enough to speak I believe his exact words were "What the fuck is this?" I of course was too busy laughing like a damn hyena to get the words out. finally when I could breathe I said "Chew it up! Chew it up! They get sweet when you chew em!" but in the commotion he had accidentally swallowed it whole. Heh... I giggle now as I write it. I tried to get him to try another one the next day but he was a no go.

Man. Labor Day Weekend. This year has sped by so fucking fast. 8 paydays till Christmas. That makes me a little nervous. But better than that 119 days till we leave for NYC!!!! Woohoo! As for the weekend we don't have any big plans. Aaron has to work all day tomorrow; with a break for a few hours around 2... then probably won't be home till close to 9pm. I will probably go down and meet him at work and maybe we'll do the Pike Place Market or something. He has to work Sunday afternoon as well, but we have Monday totally free. We've been kicking around several ideas but have come up with nothing concrete. I used to love weekends where I could veg out all weekend if I wanted to; and I still kinda do. But our cable company sucks some major ass and we don't get most of the channels I used to watch. On the upside it gives me plenty of time to sit and soak in Felicity goodness. I am totally hooked on that show. How sad is that? I usually miss the boat the first time on anything that's popular. Give me a good year or more after it hits the big time, THEN I'll show some interest. So yeah; not much is going on here... hope you have a great weekend!

THE FRIDAY FIVE

1. Are you going to school this year?

Yeah, I start in less than a month. I'm kind of excited to get the ball rolling, I WANT TO JUST BE DONE!!!:-)

2. If yes, where are you going (high school, college, etc.)? If no, when did you graduate?

I graduated in 1995 from high school, and have attended community college off and on since then; last winter I became a full time student. I am under the pressure of loans so I can't NOT be a full time student ... this is it baby. They got me right where they want me. Oh, and I attend Bellevue Community College; but mainly I do online courses. But this fall I'll be attending a math class in the morning. Oy. I'll have to be in Bellevue (a good half hour drive in non rush hour... ) by 7:15am every morning.

3. What are/were your favorite school subjects?

I love psychology and other classes where you get involved in discussions.

4. What are/were your least favorite school subjects?

I fucking hate philosophy and math.

5. Have you ever had a favorite teacher? Why was he/she a favorite?

Mr. Howard; my choir teacher from 9th to 12th grades. He was also my history teacher, junior year and the football coach (I was a manager). He was more than a teacher; meaning he was kind of like a mentor/grandfatherly figure. He had a unique relationship with his students... somehow managed to get the biggest guys on the football team to come sing latin Bible songs. And made them take it somewhat seriously. Plus he was a hoot, and would occasionally make the funniest remarks. I miss his classes.





How could you not love a little face like that, with cute little baby paws like that, and the pinkest little nosey this side... oh sorry, got a little carried away there.




Ben's "ha ha I'm more superior than you" face


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Thursday, August 28, 2003

MY FAT GIRL

Erin, over at EjShea.com and lose the buddha has been on the weight loss trip for a while now, and today in her fitness/diet/weight loss journal she talked about her ‘fat girl’. She wrote a really great piece about her inner fat girl… which prompted me to write my own.

My fat girl is my former self. But she won’t go away. Though I’ve lost close to 95lbs, she remains such a strong part of me sometimes I think she’ll always be here. Maybe I’m ok with that. Maybe I’m not. It really depends on my day and what I’m wearing. Here’s a little more about her…

My fat girl always wears make-up. She is obsessed with having perfect eyeshadow and has spent years practicing. She is never without perfectly lined lips and color filled in to match. Her hair is always done and from the neck up appears to be very well put together. She obsesses about these things, because they are things she can readily control.

My fat girl used to hate shopping for clothes, was always afraid to even try on something in the size she was the last time she bought something. She was afraid that she’d grown or the sizing would be different at Target than it is at Walmart and her trusty size 22 shirt wouldn't be as comfortable. My fat girl used to see pictures of herself at 260lbs and had a hard time believing that was really her. She would thrust the pictures in front of anyone who’d play her game and would bait them with “look at how hideous I look in this picture.” If they agreed, she knew it was just a bad angle. More often than not they’d try to compliment her and tell her it was a good picture. She would smile and swallow the lump in her throat and try her hardest not to cry. She realized that she really was that big and wondered how the hell it happened.

Sometimes when she would get ready for work or to go out she’d look in the mirror and be happy with the girl staring back at her. She’d rarely see the rolls of flab poking out from under her 3x tee shirt. She’d suck in as much as she could and placate herself with the thought “I’ll start eating healthy tomorrow.” Without acknowledging that she had been saying that phrase to herself for years. At night she prayed to God to please give her the strength and will to lose weight. And to please send her the man of her dreams. Though she probably wouldn’t have looked him in the eye even if he showed up with a bow wrapped around him that said “To Allison, From God.”

My fat girl worked her ass off for a year and lost about 95lbs. She wants to lose a minimum of 20 more, but realizes that if she wanted to get down to her ‘ideal weight’ or whatever, she would have to lose 40.
My fat girl longs for the life of the girl who doesn't watch what she eats and still looks fabulous. She longs for the time in her life where she won't have to kill herself at the gym 4 days a week just to maintain her new size.

My fat girl remembers eating a whole bag of nestle treasures (the caramel or peanut butter kinds were the best) in one day. She was filled with shame so she ate an entire carton of Ben and Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk Ice Cream to dull that shame. She never thought about what she was eating while she was eating it. She just ate it and appreciated the rich chocolate or creamy peanut butter or soft caramel as a comfort.

My fat girl was single for 8 long years and afraid she would die alone… or rather with her cats. She spent most of her weekends before she started getting healthy renting movies and curling up with Ben and Jerry’s and other assorted chocolate goodness. She would hide chocolates in her top drawer and the ice cream never even made it to the freezer. She dreamt endlessly about finding love, and becoming a girlfriend, then a wife, and someday a mommy. She never saw herself as obese or gross or even that fat. Now when she looks at those same pictures of her at 260lbs she is amazed.

My fat girl had a hard time accepting compliments before she lost any weight, and now actually has an even harder time accepting them. She sees any weight gain at all as failure and is determined to lose her pouch.. her buddha. My fat girl hates situps though, and prays for God to just take it away whilst she spends hours on cardio. My fat girl doesn't expect to ever be a size 2, but weeps for the day she may be a size 8. But most of all my fat girl has made peace with the fact that this is not a short term thing. Staying smaller than she was will be a battle... but one that she is capable of winning.

My fat girl fell in love. She believes him when he tells her she’s beautiful… but still forgets that she lost any weight at all. She sees pictures of the two of them and sometimes it takes her breath away… how far she’s come. And sometimes all she sees is how far she still wants to go. My fat girl feels the same inside now as before… and knows that her self worth is not dependent on her weight or her dress size. But secretly thinks deep down that she will only be truly happy when she weighs under 150lbs. She is very hard on herself, my fat girl… and is so afraid that one day she will wake up and all the weight will have found its way back… and she will lose everything. Her will to keep trying… her motivation to get her ass up off the couch and into the gym, and worst of all the love of her life... the man of her dreams that God sent. She believes him when he says he’s not going anywhere… no matter what. But the fear is still there. She is also afraid to let down every single person that has paid her a compliment since losing the weight. Somedays it’s enough to make her want to scream and cry and pull at her hair. And sometimes she does.

My fat girl knows that she’s come a long way and should be damn proud of her new body… but sometimes she hates this new body for not being the body she really wants. Sometimes she gets so sick of analyzing every bite of food that goes into her mouth she wants to just say screw it all. But that’s not how she got this far. My fat girl is happier now than she’s ever been, and tries to tell herself that she just needs to take this one day at a time, and the rest will all work itself out. At least she prays it will.


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ZIP A DEE DOO DAH

I am in such a good mood this morning. I even woke up 15 minutes before my alarm and got up to pee like 8 times last night. Too much information?

I wrote this yesterday, intending to post it yesterday but went a different route, so I'll post it today...

Man. Just when I think the day is going to be all sunshine and roses, along comes one of Satchel’s customers to take a big ol’ shit right in the middle and fuck it all up. One of our customers is oh, about 60 years old, a big sort of lumbering man. No front teeth, and can’t hear for shit. We’ll call him Cubby. Well Cubby owns a company that requires use of our services, and from time to time he brings us in something to fix or take a look at or what have you. I never had a problem with him before… I can’t stand his wife. She always calls sounding just oh so put out and at her wits end over something. Not very pleasant at all. Anyway Cubby’s been in a couple times this week, which is a rarity. Today he waltzes in, and makes a small stink about the fact that the parts he ordered weren’t correct. I had asked Satchel to get off his fat fucking ass and come up to the front to deal with HIS customer but you know how lazy sacks of shit can be. “Just give him the merchandise” … so when Cubby tells me he wants the five prong insert whatchamacallit instead of the two prong or whatever the fuck he was trying to say, I held up my hand and smiled. “just a moment, Satchel will have to help you out on this, as he knows a lot more about the product than I do.” I pick up the parts and march back to fat ass’s office. He looks up from his phone call and I hold up the parts and say quietly “YOU.need.to.come.up.front.” As I make my way back to my desk I hear the tell tale sounds of fingernail clippers. It takes a second to register… and yep. My fears are realized. That senile old fuck is clipping his fingernails in our front lobby. At my Desk. ON. MY. FUCKING. DESK. I had to curb every urge to cuff the rude bastard up the side of his head whilst grabbing him by the ear and screaming “DIDN’T YOUR MOTHER EVER TEACH YOU ANY FUCKING MANNERS?” I mean seriously here… am I the only one who thinks that is one of the most vile fucking things you can do in a public space? Pardon me. I know I am just a lowly receptionist. But I do not think it’s in my job description that I have to brush your raggedy ass nail clippings off my fucking desk. ARG! But hey why stop there? Why don’t you go ahead and take a piss in my water bottle while you’re at it. I was absolutely enraged at the sight. Luckily Satchel’s call had ended and he went up to the lobby to greet Cubby and the two retreated to Satchel’s den of iniquity. About two minutes later I heard the sounds again, and yes the old bastard was clipping his nails in Satchel’s office. How RUDE! How Gross! And how fucking inconsiderate. People man… I hate them.

So I went to the dentist yesterday, and am sad to say it did not go as smoothly as I had hoped. About 5 minutes into the procedure… the dentist had removed the temporary (which went far better than the last time.) and was going to seat and cement the permanent crown. But first he had to clean off the temporary cement. Ie: scrape the shit out of my tooth and gums. The tooth had had a root canal so it was all good. I couldn’t feel it really; just the sensation. Then he started poking the gum tissue around the tooth. And the gums… well they don’t play that. After one particular jolt with the metal scraper thing into my poor gums, they peeled me off the ceiling and quickly hooked me up to the nitrus, and gave me some novacaine. I didn’t get a very good buzz on the nitrus at all, but it’s ok. At least I didn’t want to cry anymore. I’m a baby… I admit it, I embrace it, and more than that I’m ok with that. Geeze, was that a Stuart Smalley moment or what? ? Oy. Turns out the geniuses at the lab didn’t make a perfect match for the mold the dentist sent them, so the crown wouldn’t fit. After much scraping and fitting and flossing and what have you, and generally pushing me to the brink of suicide he decided that we better make a new mold and just put the temporary back on. Great. Marvelous. But as he said: “Better to do it right than to have you come back with bigger problems in a year.” Thanks for that at least.

I switched up my workout routine. I finally took the advice of about a bazillion people… namely my sister because she claims that she’s told me this over and over. (and she probably has, but I’m thick headed what can I say?) Instead of the same 45 minutes on the treadmill followed by situps I did 45 minutes on the elyptical machine and then did about 11 minutes or so… 100 cals on the stationary bike. I felt really good and shaky when I was done. It's a struggle... 45 minutes is a long time for me to comit to such a boring fucking activity. But I got through it, and like the fact that my whole self is moving for that period of time, rather than the majority of the movement being done by my lower body.

...

That's the end of that entry. I did the elyptical machine again last night, and let me tell you it.was.a.struggle. The last 15 minutes in particular... the last 11 minutes were an experience of cruelty. But I did it. And I'm gonna do it again today.

I had a nice surprise yesterday when I saw that I had been linked!!! I am such a geek, I love it when other people link me. Much thanks to Suzanne, (I read her blog daily). I am way into the journals and blogs of stay at home moms, and those dealing with pregnancy or new marriages. Who am I kidding I just love to read about other people's lives period. Congrats too to Rachel and Bill who just welcomed a baby girl this week. Their site is down right now; but I imagine it'll be up again soon.

Today is someone's birthday... and she's older than ME! But sadly, not by much.



Here's an old picture of us together... Gothic whores for halloween. We were obsessed with the movie 'The craft' at the time... "I'm your daughter now!" And no, that is NOT a real tattoo on my chest.

Happy Birthday Tatum!


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Wednesday, August 27, 2003

NOTHING OF SUBSTANCE TO SAY...

I have to go to the dentist today. I'll go into work for like 2 hours, take a waaaaayyy early break and then go and have my temporary crown pried off (hence all the chewing gum this morning... I've got a wad the size of a golf ball going right now. The better to loosen it with!) then they'll glue the permanent one on. I hate shit like this. Probably more than actual dental work. There are a million reasons really, but the only two that occupy my mind right now are that #1 I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE the sound of the scrapers and other tools of torture scraping around in my mouth. More than the sensations or pain the sound is enough to send me over the edge. #2, the fact that glue and shit is involved guarantees a period of time that I'll have what I like to call 'dental mouth'. That's the hour or day or once it was fucking 2 months when you can't rid yourself of the godawful taste of the dental work. Glue, Latex, scrapers, whatever the fuck they put in my mouth... the taste lingers. Once when it lasted damn near 2 months I actually prayed that God would take the taste out of my mouth. It wore me down people. So yeah. Wish me luck. I don't think I get nitrus for this appointment either, which doesn't exactly thrill me. At least give me that much... a nice pre-noontime high. I love me some nitrus. And I'm telling you if they put that shit in Gynecologist offices, there would be an abundance of women who wouldn't mind going. Hook us up to a little nitrus and shut the fuck up. Do your thing, hand me the headphones and that foreigner cd. ...No, don't talk. I don't care what you're doing, just let me turn up the volume on this here 'Head Games'. I'm telling you... it would be a new experience. I know when I'm in the dentist chair he could be planting roses in my gum tissue and as long as the sweet nitrus is flowing I don't give a shit.

Anyhoo, I was perusing the news sites and found this article and it literally made me fucking sick. WHY is shit like this still going on in the world? WHY? Why have no civilized countries stepped in and said "enough with this primitive ass way of life!" I mean what the fuck? I don't expect us all to be on the same wavelength, but here I sit in front of my electric doo dad that enables me to send messages all over the world with a click of a button, air my opinions in a world wide forum, in a room with a switch that turns on a light, in an apartment that I share with *gasp* a man...where we have this big box that keeps things cold and a smaller box that heats them up. We also have one of them talkin' picture boxes and a contraption that makes a ringing noise and when you pick it up my mom or my friend or the lady who doesn't speak english and is always asking for 'dani' is on the other end. and across the planet they are still milking goats, drinking river water and stoning people to death. I mean I don't think they are ready for wireless web yet, but fuck... IT'S two thousand fucking three... that should account for something. At least in my small little mind.

Did you see the Real World last night? I hate Adam. I do. He irritates the shit out of me. I think the people over at
TwoP are right on the money with the whole "Adam loves Ace" thing. Gawd. I can't stand the fucker. I hate him almost as much as satchel. As for Newlyweds with Nick and Jessica... I hate to say it, but I'm hooked on that show. She is such a spoiled brat baby. Last night she panicked because she spent 750 bucks on underwear. Mind you... 2 bras and 2 pairs of panties. Nick says "didn't you look at the price tag?" Um... why would you even have to ask that? WHO shops at designer fucking boutiques and doesn't expect to get taken for a ride when purchasing anything name brand? Hell I'm so cheap I won't spend 30 bucks on underwear let alone anything that came close to triple digits. HELL no. Also, they seem to fight and argue alot. That makes me sad. I know some people have relationships like that where they are all snippy to each other... but I find it really sad. This is their first year of marriage... they should be enjoying the hell out of it and not biting each other's heads off. ARg.



smells wike... jumping beans


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Tuesday, August 26, 2003

PERCOGESIC ROCKS AND LOTS O' LINKS

Yeah, I know. I didn't update yesterday. I was curled up in the fetal position for most of the day, dealing with a migraine. It came on in the afternoon on Sunday. Nothing helped. I woke up yesterday morning, and it was still there but manageable so I went to work. Exactly 15 minutes under those fluorescent lights moved the headache's status to 'fucking painful' so I went home at the halfway mark. Yeah. I was the headache's bitch yesterday. I slept most the day, took two percogesic pills and wouldn't you know it, that headache went away. Finally. Of course it came back a little bit, and is still laying low today... I can feel it, but it's a functioning headache, so it's all good.

On Saturday I had some of the girls I went to high school with over for a potluck. It was a nice time, we don't get to see each other much, and it's always nice to catch up. It was a chance for me to show Aaron off too; as most of them hadn't met him yet. Jessica brought her new boyfriend Kevin, so Aaron had another male to commiserate with. He had to leave early though to go to work for a few hours, so I used that time to spend some one on one time with Cathy and Chloe. It was great!

When Aaron got home, it was close to 9pm and we were bored bored bored, but didn't really know what to do. After much himming and hahing we decided to head on down to Scarecrow Video. I had no idea that they were mainly a rental place. I really want that french movie La Boum but since it's out of print, the bastards wanted a $200 deposit to rent it to me. Uh no. Aaron tried to rationalize with me that I would get that money back (it would be on a credit card) but that's too much responsibility for me. So we putzed around in there for a while and decided we were starving, so we headed to IHOP for our midnight dinner.

Sunday I slept in until 10... did you feel the earth move? Cause it never happens. When we finally got our shit together, we went down to the Seattle waterfront and to The Ye Olde Curiosity Shop where I bought some Mexican Jumping Beans. We ended up having dinner at my mom's and I crashed into bed right around 9pm with the aforementioned headache.

Speaking of the jumping beans, the cats are being drove insane with the incessant tapping coming from the little plastic case. They ignore it for the most part, but I keep finding the case in wierd places... the kitchen floor, under the coffee table, near the sliding glass door.

When the head pain subsided last night I decided I felt fat and gross and needed to work out. So I did some free weights, Cindy Crawford style (I LOVE that segment) and then decide to give the ol' Winsor Pilates a go. Man. That shit sucks. I hate stretching. More than anything I think. And all the 'reaching' and 'centering my powerhouse' shit was tiring. And brought back a little of the head pain. I didn't make it through the whole 50 minutes... I made it through most of it. But that one where you lay on your back and bring your feet up over your head so your toes are on the floor behind your head... I can't do that without doing a full fledged backwards somersalt... how the fuck do you spell that anyway? Reguardless, my tummy muscles are a little sore today... so I may put mysef through that shit again tonight. Beats running on a treadmill... I think.



That's Chloe, Me, Cathy, Quyen and Jessica in front.



This is what they did all afternoon yesterday. Must be hard to be a cat.


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Friday, August 22, 2003

BUTT NUGGET

I went out to Applebees last night to meet a couple friends for cocktails, which really means dinner and a diet soda. I just don't really drink anymore... it's wierd. I'll have the occasional glass of wine, but unless we are going out to party I just don't drink. A night spent at our favorite karaoke place will warrant several bud lights and a few Rumplemintz on the rocks... but anything else... nah. Anyhoo, I came to a decision yesterday. A scary one for me... I have spent the last year obsessing about food, exercise and my weight. Actually, that's not true... my ENTIRE life has revolved around what goes in my mouth. It's in the last year that I finally got serious about it and did something to change the situation. For the better part of six months my diet consisted of a breakfast of a piece or two of fruit. Lunch was steamed vegetables, dinner was a boca burger on fat free bread with a splash of fat free ranch dressing. After my evening workout I would indulge in a diet cherry coke (after all I had drank a gallon of water already that day) and sometimes when the hunger pains would get to be too much I would have a few low fat graham crackers in the evening. Eventually I upped breakfast to include not only a piece of fruit, but also fat free yogurt (for protein). I rarely if ever strayed from that diet during the week. The weekends, I indulged in a muffin for breakfast/lunch... then I would eat something small for dinner and call it good. In December of last year I began eating a little more regularly, and the excercise tapered off, but didn't stop. I was still strict but Aaron and I would go out to eat a lot, so I began eating veggie burgers and salads more often. I was still semi-strict but not nearly as much as before. Fast forward to June, when I went back on my little regimen... I have lost about 10 pounds since the beginning of June... but no more. I can't seem to budge and it's driving me batty. Mainly because I eat the same thing day in and day out, and rarely if ever allow myself to eat normally because I am fucking petrified of gaining weight. I am tired of this battle. I am tired of analyzing every bite that goes into my mouth. I am tired of feeling guilty on Monday after I've had a normal weekend of eating regular stuff... and I'm not talking twinkies and ho-hos and doritos... just normal food that everyone eats. Pasta. Bread. Milk. Whatever. I decided yesterday that I am going to start eating meat again. For sure. Chicken and Turkey...no pork or beef... I am not a pork fan anyway, and I just want to stay away from red meat in general. And I'm going to try and eat normally... healthy but normal. I am still going to work out, but I am just going to attempt to improve my general fitness ability and not focus so much on losing weight. I have come a long way in the past year, I know that. I also know that if I see myself gaining weight I will do something about it... I am just sick and tired of surviving on lettuce and fruit and egg beaters.

So back to my original point of that long ass diatribe, we went to Applebees and I himmed and hahhed over what to get, and just could not force myself to get the asian chicken salad. (Which is what I really wanted.) Instead I ordered the house salad, with no bacon. *sigh* I am just going to have to ease myself into it I guess.

The reason I named this entry Butt Nugget is because that's what I called Aaron last night. I come home around 10pm, after just talking to him on the phone. He usually doesn't get home from work until like 11:15 or so. I should say I had an inkling, because when I talked to him I wondered briefly if he might be home already, then dismissed that thought as wishful thinking and forgot about it. I pulled up and the apartment was dark. I unlocked the door and for some reason had one of those fleeting thoughts "How freaky would it be if someone was in here?" I turned on the hall light... which I NEVER do. I was humming to myself and talked to Asa as I came in. "It's muggy as hell in here, let's open the window" I opened the bedroom window, pet asa, (all while talking to him in my high pitched kitty voice) and proceeded to the living room. I got about as far as the entryway when I saw Aaron sitting in the corner chair, in the dark... then he spoke "I LOOOOOOOVE YOUUUUUU!" I screamed I think loud enough to wake the dead. Then I dropped my bag and ran back to the bedroom. He laughed and apologized and I said "Goddamn Aaron! Do you know that's like my worst fear ever? Intruder in the house?" I was laughing ... and he kept apologizing. He felt so bad. He hugged me and asked if I was ok. I was pouting and smiled and said "yeah... butt nugget." I don't think he quite appreciated that, but my heart is STILL racing from that scare. :-)

THE FRIDAY FIVE


When was the last time you laughed?

This morning at 5. Aaron was sleepy and responding with uh-huh's and I asked him if he liked Donkey Balls and he paused and said 'uh, no'... so he wasn't as out as I thought he was. :-)

Who was the last person you had an argument with?

Me? I never argue with anyone.

Who was the last person you emailed?

Probably Troy to make sure we were still on for last night.

When was the last time you bathed?

This morning, Nosy Parker.

What was the last thing you ate?

Honey nut cheerios with banana and fat free milk thankyouverymuch.



My favorite picture of Aaron


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Thursday, August 21, 2003

RANDOM

What the hell does gubernatorial mean anyway? I don't really care... it's just a wierd word that I can't get out of my head this morning.

Our new sales guy earned himself a nickname yesterday. Well, not one I'd ever call him... to his face. Tico the crazy Brazilian. All because of his outfit. I should preface this by saying he's actually a nice guy, and doesn't get on my nerves at all. Self sufficient, and keeps to himself... a receptionist's dream! If I had to guess, I would say he's in his mid to late 40's... probably more mid than late. Grayish hair... in a distinguished way though, and I think he has a beard as well as a moustache. Anyway, he's tan too; can't tell if it's a biological hue or if he worships the sun. Anyhoo, he came in yesterday wearing a fitted black short sleeve v-neck. Tucked into cream colored linen pants, cinched with a leather belt, and complete with some brown shoes that if you weren't paying attention looked kinda like sandles. They were slip-ons anyway which counts as the same. The whole ensemble screamed 'eccentric Brazilian millionaire'. I could just see him on some plantation in Rio, with a straw hat on, giving tours of his palatial estate. OR something. Basically the outfit made me pause, giggle and take a second thought. Linen pants... black shirt. IT SCREAMS COMEDY PEOPLE!

Ok, with all the virus shit going on, we were told to update our computers at work. This sent Satchel into a panic / frenzy. "I don't know how to do that.... can somebody do it for me? How do you do it? Anyone?" I think most of us froze when he started asking for help... as when it deals with technology, you might as well just tell him to move the fuck out of the way and do it yourself. Tico the crazy brazilian took the bait (heh, new guy) and squared him away. Fast forward about an hour and I hear him asking John "hey John, can you help me out with the cell phone stuff?" there's a pause and I hear John say "uhh, sure. What do you need help with?" Satchel responds "everything. How do you do it?" longer pause. and John says "um... could you be a little more specific?" (note: the cell phone stuff that we deal with is usually an involved process. It requires spending a lot of time on the phone, and appears to be a gigantic pain in the ass.) So John walks him through it... the best he can, because Satchel wasn't prepared in any way shape or form... in fact he didnt even have the necessary stuff to do it, he was just 'inquiring'. This is like the 8th or 9th time he's inquired on how to do this shit. About 3 hours later, John is out of the office and I hear Satchel bugging Kevin about getting something for him. Kevin told him to chill out, he'd do it as soon as he finished his lunch. Satchel says "ooh, good. I know what you can help me with while you're eating then." What a rude fuck. I heard Kevin audibly bristle. "okkkk" the next words out of satchels mouth "How do you do the cell phone stuff?" No shit. John had just spent 45 minutes going over it with him that morning. Kevin was silent for a second and said "fine, but you are going to get yourself a notebook and take notes because this is the 3rd or 4th time I've gone over it with you." When kevin came out to get a fax I told him that genius had spent time with John doing the exact same shit that morning and he just shook his head. What do you expect? Satchel's been sending me his sales orders to keep track of for over a year... almost 2 and last week he couldn't send me one correctly to save his soul. They all came through with wierd file extensions or not attached... it took 5 tries before I got it. He needs to just call it a day and go home and master the remote control for his tv and craftmatic adjustable.

I watched part of Phonebooth last night. I ended up fast forwarding it through to the end. Why? Because Colin Farrel bugs me... at least in that movie he does. And the sniper dude's voice was enough to make me want to kick something. To find out at the end that it was keifer Sutherland... perfect. I can't stand him either. Keifer... what the fuck kind of name is that anyway? I went to school with a guy named keever... what are people thinking? That's like the new popularity of the name gage for boys... Gage... Gage... I swear to you every time I hear that as a name I think of an air pressure guage on a bike pump. Arg.

I want another tattoo. I have been thinking about it a lot lately... my mom will shit when she reads this. She despises the two I already have. I don't know exactly what I want... maybe a calf length hula girl on the outside lower leg...? NOT. Something small for sure.. and discreet.

Well I've run out of shit to say for today, so here ya go:



The other night I went to bed with a clean living room and the newspaper in a neat pile under the coffee table. Apparently, slipping and sliding on the ads is a whole lot of fun. That mess is 99.9% Asa. Ben sat on the coffee table like he is in the picture for most of the night I'm sure. He sleeps on the tv guide on the table every night. Wierdo.



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Wednesday, August 20, 2003

START SPREADIN' THE NEWS...

I'm leavin' today (well actually Dec 26th)... I want to BE A PART OF IT... NEW YORK, NEW YORK!!! Guess what? I am finally fucking going to New York City!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry for the overabundance of exclamation points, but I have been dreaming about this trip for years. And now, it's a reality. I booked our hotel about 2 weeks ago, and bought our airline tickets this morning. I cannot fucking wait. New York City Man! I am fucking walking on air :-D I spent last night perusing my new "New York City for Dummies" book... they had some really helpful information. Complete with telephone numbers etc.

Aaron and I have been talking about taking this trip for a long time. We wavered on it for a while... deeming it a bit out of our price range, then deciding to take a less expensive vacation. After I did a little digging though, and spending hours on the various airline websites ... incidentally our home computer bit the dust last night when I was perusing Orbitz. It's a damn good thing I wasn't in payment mode. Anyway, we discussed this possible vacation at length... and finally decided fuck it. We are at a time right now where while we have to save for hotel and spending ... like really save, it's feasible. We don't have kids, car payments (we own our pieces of crap) and we are not tied down in any other way... we might as well take advantage of it all and just go now. I am so glad we made that choice. If you ask anyone, I have dreamt of New York City forever. I was all set to move there right after graduation back in1995... uh, before reality set in, and I realized it cost money to move; let alone to NYC and beyond that I didn't have the balls to move there by myself. Then I had Holly talked into moving there with me in a few years... I remember saying "even if we don't move there, let's talk about it and think about it and keep it as a possibility." I think I always knew neither one of us would probably be up for moving all the way over there out of the blue, but it was a dream that kept me thinking positively during some of the darkest days in the past few years.

So I am now going to embark on the task of organizing the trip... figuring out all the things both Aaron and I want to see, then organizing them by neighborhood etc. Such a task. :-) FUCK I CAN'T WAIT TO GO! We will leave on Dec. 26th and come home on Jan 2nd. We are going to watch the Ball drop in Times Square and yes, I know that it's trite and touristy and whatever, but you know what? I don't fucking care. I watch that shit on tv every year, and the one year when Komo ran their own local shitty show instead of Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve... I actually cried. Well ok, it was more than just because I didn't feel like watching our local shitty anchors ring in the new Year... I was babysitting. Alone. The kids were asleep. It was stormy. I was single. And fat... well fatter. It was a bad day. But not this year baby!

Truth be told I'm a little nervous about it... you know New York has a sort of reputation ... well if you watch NYPD Blue you know all about it. Or Law and Order. Or Hill Street Blues. or... other miscellaneous crime shows that give it a bad name... but then I think of the city that's portrayed in every episode of Friends and Seinfeld and Sex and the City...just to name a few. Good Lord I can't wait.




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Tuesday, August 19, 2003

BURIAL AT SEA

Hillary died. One of our fish. The pretty one. I went to feed her yesterday morning and she was belly up... well actually side up, but still dead. I was sad for a second, then thought 'maybe the other one'll die and then I won't have to clean the fish bowl anymore'... then I felt bad again. More than like sad sad... I felt like I failed. OUR FISH WERE GOING TO LIVE DAMMIT! Bill now looks kinda sickly... Aaron suggested that he may be depressed.

I have nothing of substance to discuss with you today... so I'll share this link. Fucking sick man.... and fucking scary. We went to the hospital yesterday to visit a friend who went in for surgery, and after I shared the story with Lori we jetted in and out of the elevators as fast as fucking possible.

Lately, Aaron and I have been enjoying our geekiness by contrasting the cats in 'if' circumstances. Since their personalities are so different and the way they carry themselves is also different, we get quite silly. I don't know why I'm telling you this other than I am suffering from a raging sinus headache, and feel the need to share today. Anyway, Asa is short, stout, and all muscle... doesn't cuddle easily. Ben... limp as a noodle. Graceful... elegant... prissy. It all started when I said "you know, if Ben ate sandwiches, they would be cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off. And if Asa ate sandwiches they'd be peanut butter and jelly." Here is a small list of comparisons I've come up with since...

If Ben drank beverages he would drink chamomile tea, and Asa would drink grape koolaid. If they were alcoholic beverages, Ben would drink champagne spritzers, and Asa would drink Maddog 20/20 (TAKES AFTER HIS GRANDMA! heh... only 2 or 3 people will even get that) If they drove cars, Ben would drive a cadillac and Asa would drive a camaro... with T-tops... or a car that has t-tops.. whatever, you get my point. If they watched television, Ben would watch CNN and PBS and Asa would watch Nickelodeon and the Cartoon Network. Ben's Bed would be made of Oak with the finest egyptian cotton sheets and chenille pillows, and Asa would have a racecar bed. This morning I picked Ben up and I said to Aaron "I love how Ben is cuddly and bendable, unlike dipshit over there (as I pointed to Asa) who is all muscle tone." Aaron laughed and said "if they worked out, Ben would do pilates and Asa would do free weights." I giggled and said "yeah I can just see it, Asa in a half shirt, pecs out walking around saying things like 'What do you bench?" ahhh... nerds we are yes, but happy ones. :-D

You know what kills me? All these people who are all upset over the Osbournes faking their last show. (for the uninformed... the Osbournes put on an awesome finale... leading the viewers up until the very end to watch with that same kind of stare you get when you drive past a car accident... anyway, mulitple wierd storylines, leading you to think everything had gone awry, to find out at the end that they acted the whole thing out. It was great!) Anyway some people have commented on it and seem to be upset, and if the boards over at TwoP are any indication of the public, everyone's just up in arms over the fake killing of a dog on tv, and the blasphemy of reality television in general. Or whatever. What do I think about this? Get a fucking life. Get over it. You're just mad cuz you fell for it. Guess what, I fell for it too, and I think it was a great gag. VERY believable. I was on the boards over at TwoP and found myself shaking my head in pity for the morons who think that the episode was of 'questionable ethics'... pretending to kill a dog in your sleep is just devil worship I say! Give me a break. Anyway, I think every reality show should do that... I guess it wouldn't be such a huge surprise then but still.

Speaking of reality television, I saw a commercial for The True Hollywood Story of "The Real World" ... can't freaking wait to see that. As far as I can tell it's all the 'bitter' alumni doing that show. SWEET! And you KNOW I'll be tuning in for 'Newlyweds' on Mtv tonight.

Happy birthday to my favorite Arizonian!



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Monday, August 18, 2003

GAR-LIQUE

I made homeade pizza for dinner last night. I invited Lori over, and made a meat pizza for her and my meat loving roomie :-D and one that was half meat loving and half onion, green pepper and mushroom... I minced some garlic beforehand, and spread it over the crust, then spread the sauce. I foolishly thought I needed to mince more. Luckily I had already suspected that I may be a little ocd about it, so I threw the remainer of the garlic away... I had already minced about 8 cloves... I know, I know... shut up. I never think I am going to have enough. Case in point... I have a bag and a half of cheese left. Aaron told me I was probably buying too much... but as usual, I wanted to be 'on the safe side." Anyway, so I spread the minced garlic on the pizza bread, then the sauce, then the rest of the stuff. After dinner we were all still tasting Garlic and offending ourselves... we couldn't offend each other because the stench of garlic emating from all three of us was indistinguishable... is that even a word? Basically we all stunk equally. Today I am confident I will suffer no attacks from vampires, plus I have the added advantage of offending anyone who comes within 6 feet of me, AND the pleasure of tasting said garlic every time I breathe in. and out.

Friday night... got my nails done... ran a few errands, then was surprised when Aaron got home and we went to a few bookstores and made a late night safeway stop. Saturday morning I was up at the buttcrack of dawn as usual these days... 6:30 am... could not fall back asleep. WTF. I was exhausted, I just could not sleep. Aaron went to work for a few hours, and I putzed around the house. Curled my hair, won an ebay auction for my sweetie... oh how he loves me :-) then we went to the outlet malls in North bend. We got him an Eddie Bauer winter Jacket for like 45 bucks. Good deal. We bought some books and some fudge and then went over to Stacy and Willie's house for Nachos and board games. We played Uno and Compatability... I had a headache when we got there, and 6 advil and one 800 mg Ibuprofen later... not all at once, over a timespan of about 6 hours... the headache was still raging. Possibly worse than it was to begin with. A few hours later, we got home and I took a vicoden, and passed out. I woke up around 6 am, still with the headache, took one more, dozed till 9... got up and ate... was pleasantly woozy. I fell back asleep around 11, and slept until a quarter after 1. The only reason I dragged myself out of bed then was I knew that Aaron would be home in 45 minutes to take me to a movie, and I really wanted to go. Thankfully the headache was gone, but I was still kinda woozy. We went and saw 'Uptown Girls'... during which the dreaded headache returned. Luckily I had advil with me and it basically took care of it. We went grocery shopping and then I went home and took a nap.

I feel more rested... I just stink. OH yeah, I've been watching the Felicity dvds too... I am not ashamed to say that I am enjoying them. Even if Lori threatened to disown me.



Such a pretty baby



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Friday, August 15, 2003

SATCHEL BASTARD ...

I hate him. I do. Even when he's nice or tolerable... I can't stand the fucker. I bristle when he talks to me, whether it is to say good morning or to make an inane request. So here, without further ado, is a small list that details some of the things that make me wish I was independently wealthy so I could give him the finger and hock a loogie on his desk and be on my merry way. (Actually I would have done this a long time ago if I actually hated my job... or my other co workers, but I don't hate them or it... he's the thorn in my side.)

1. The way he pronounces certain words. One of his clients has the last part of their name as gypsum... so when he goes out the door, and gives me a running itinerary of every movement he plans to make from the step out of the office to when he pulls in (and incidently, I don't fucking care... go. Take your time. Don't come back.) He always says "I'm off to --such and such-- Gitsun....is it pronounced gitsun if it's spelled gypsum you ignorant fucker? I always want to pinch his cheeks hard and scream into his face GYP-SUM!

2. How he leaves random pieces of paper at my desk ALLTHEFUCKINGTIME then writes out a full page note asking me to please file with a specific work order. No one else does this shit. No one else leaves shit on my desk. He wants me to have an inbox because I always bitch at him about it, but when I HAD an inbox he left even randomer shit in there... and most of that found it's way into the circular file. Thanks but I don't collect all the junk faxes that come in, nor do I want an old office depot ad you found in your desk. It would take him longer to write out a note for every piece of paper he leaves on my desk than it would take to drop it in the file himself. Considering I'm about 3 times as far from him as the fucking file cabinet.

3. The way he says certain things... When he gives me one of his random pieces of paper "Here's ya this" or when I leave for lunch "sees ya later" Or when I ask him if he can come up front to see a customer "Youuuuuuu betchy" fuck I just want to kick him right in the nuts when he says that.

Enough complaining about the idiot... It'll do nothing but put me in a bad mood, and I am in a pretty good mood. Tired but good. I went to the dentist last night... I was so high on the nitrus, it took me a little while to snap out of the funk it left me in when I left. I almost questioned my ability to drive. I went home sore, and grumpy... I had intended to stop by my parents, but I was not feeling well and didn't particularly feel like going over there to end up being bitchy for no other reason than my mouth hurt. I went home and took and 800 mg Ibuprofen... those rock. Whereas vicodin just makes you woozy and not really care that you are in pain, these actually take the pain away and just make you a little tired.

How sad is it that I looking forward to the new show on MTV, Newlyweds with Nick and Jessica. (Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson) ... I will so totally be tuning in for that... and yes I'm serious.

THE FRIDAY FIVE

1. How much time do you spend online each day?

That really depends...on what's going on with work and at home... sometimes I have to go online to do stuff for work, and some nights I'll sit and surf for a couple hours. It just depends really.

2. What is your browser homepage set to?

Google. On all my computers. It comes up quick, as there are less graphics to display.

3. Do you use any instant messaging programs? If so, which one(s)?

not so much, I used to be a faithful Aim-er,but can't remember the last time I logged on now.

4. Where was your first webpage located?

Tripod... eek.

5. How long have you had your current website?

since June of 2001



awwww, they love each other!




The look of disgust on asa's face really says it all doesn't it?


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Thursday, August 14, 2003

DENIS LEARY AND DR. DRE?

So I keep hearing the commercials for Denis Leary's upcoming roast on Comedy Central, which by the way I would totally be into watching, except that our cable company sucks major ass and we don't get Comedy Central. Or FX... or Mtv2 and VH-1. MILLENIUM DIGITAL MEDIA SUCKS! I guess it's good in the long run, that out channel range is shorter than it was at my mom's... because I used to live in front of the tv. I usually watched one of the music channels or comedy central... all the time. I miss it. But I digress... anyway, in the promos, they mention the guests and one of them is Dr. Dre... how the hell do Dr. Dre and Denis Leary know each other? That is the most random coupling ever.. other than Busta Rhymes and Martha Stewart on Mtv a few years ago... I am just perplexed by that though. Wish I could watch it so I could see how they are connected, but NOOOoOO, I have MDM and unless I pay like a million bucks a month I can't get more basic cable channels... it's either bare minimum or full on digital cable. They suck. Sorry... tangent.

Aaron and I joined Netflix. You know what brought that on? I can't even believe I'm going to admit this, but I kind of want to watch the first season of Felicity... I don't think I've ever seen a full episode, and my curiosity is getting the better of me. Do I want to pay 45 bucks for the first season on DVD? um no. I mean it's Felicity for God's sake. But none of the rental places carry the series so I checked out Netflix, and whaddya know. It's such a deal anyway, twenty bucks a month, no due dates, no late fees... you get three movies at a time, they come in prepaid postage envelopes and you can store a shit load of movies on their site, so when you send em back they can send out the next batch to you. To rent 3 dvds at the local Hollywood Video or Blockbuster... you'd spend like 12 bucks easily. You could probably rent upwards of about 12-15 movies per month and it's 20 bucks. Such a good deal. I am surprised Aaron and I hadn't joined sooner... we're both such movie freaks. We now have over 80 movies in our rental queue... (sp?) so it'll be a while before we run out of shit to watch.

I have no new pictures. Sorry. I suck.


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Wednesday, August 13, 2003

MOTHS AND MICE

Dreamt we had an infestation of moths and mice... oddly enough I was more bothered by the moths than the mice... the nasty fuckers kept swooping at me.

My neighbors are straight up ghetto. I overheard what I think was a drug solicitation phone call on Tuesday... the dude was talking about 'white ladies', like he knew where he could get some quality white ladies. The other person must have said something like "What?" and he said "I know where I can get some quality Hair." There was a pause and he said "I don't know how much a ball costs, but I got mad connections, so probly not more than 95 bucks." I know I have limited street cred here, but come on... doesn't it sound like he's talking about Heroin? There's no e on the end of that right? Then I'd be talking about shera or Pvt. Jessica Lynch (note sarcasm here... how is she a hero other than she is a veteran? She GOT CAPTURED. SHE DIDN'T RESCUE ANYONE.... I agree all veterans are heros, but they all don't get the rights to their story purchased for millions and... sorry. Tangent.) Anyway, back to my ghetto ass neighbors, last night there was a lot of door slamming and name calling and ghetto talk back and forth from their door to their car, which just so happens that they have to walk by my bedroom window as they make that trip 8 bazillion times a night. I didn't call security, which I should have. I just don't want to be the 'complainer'. I also never called about the possible drug solicitation whatever, because my bedroom window was open when dude was on his cell (again right outside my window) and I was clearly visible laying on my bed reading my book. Arg.

I yelled at our Mexican neighbors the night before last too. They were standing outside at their car, with the damn thing running, talking LOUDLY. In Spanish. I looked at Aaron at one point and said "How do you say Shut the Fuck up in spanish?" He just laughed. But it was like 10pm, and they were out there for a good 15-20 minutes! ARG! Finally I raised our blinds and said "SHUT UP!!!" then I sat back down and we resumed watching tv and all of a sudden it came to me "CAYETE!" I shouted. Aaron looked startled. I said it slowly to myself "cay-ett-ay... that's spanish for shut up." he grinned, and I was relieved... I hate it when you can't remember stuff like that. Our neighbor right next door, Shanaynay, has rid herself of the long braids. We saw her the other day, and she had a short bob do, curled under the ear. Very cute, in fact I almost didn't recognize her. Guess I can't call her Shanaynay anymore.

Went to the gym last night. I usually do 3 miles or more basically a minimum of 45 min on the treadmill, 15 on the eliptical trainer and 300 situps. I did 2.50 miles... that's 35 min on the treadmill. My legs were aching at that point. They are also doing a lot of construction at my gym, and apparently have RUINED the area I do my situps in. I liked it, because it was elevated, and there was a railing I could hold onto when working my lower abdomen. Now... no elevated area... it's all on the floor. No railing. I was so tired and my legs were too sore to deal so I just went home. I am going back tonight... will attempt to do the full kit and caboodle. We'll see. I'm so discouraged right now, I am freakin close to waving my white flag and just dealing with the fact that I weigh 167lbs. Which I'm sorry, to me is unacceptable. I don't know how to make it acceptable... every time I approach it in my mind I just freak out and vow to only eat celery. I'm not going to go on and on like I did yesterday... I just am so fucking frustrated with the whole weight loss issue I want to fucking cry every fucking time I fucking think about it. Fuck you weight loss, you and your ugly ass mama.

I don't know what that last sentence is about, though I did laugh when I typed it, so I guess I'll keep it there.



Aaron spends quality time with Asa.



Why I have to fight the urge to beat the little fucker. Is NOTHING SACRED?



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Tuesday, August 12, 2003

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIBBY LOU





Hope you're having a good one man, we sure miss you like hell.

MY CAR SUCKS DONKEY ASS

So I go to leave work last night, all ready to go to the gym, and lo and behold... it won't start. In fact, I have no power at all. AWESOME! Kevin (a coworker) came out and upon some investigation we noticed that one cord that leads to the battery was frayed and the other one had completely worn through and was no longer connected at all. So we pushed my car into the garage here at work for the night, and I got a ride home from Lori. I was a little disappointed, because I wanted to go to the gym... as I never went last week, and the guilt is all but consuming me. But I was also really tired and had a bit of a tummy ache, so I went home and just sat around for a bit, did some laundry and some dishes and was in bed at 9 curled up with my book. About 9:30 I had a nice surprise when Aaron came home... EARLY! I love that! He put in the movie Contact (as we had caught the end of it on TNT over the weekend) and I fell asleep shortly after 10 I think. I woke up around 4am with a splitting headache in my er.. uh..left temporal lobe... above my left eye... near the hairline. I stumbled around and took 3 advil and lay on the heating pad, and finally fell back asleep... deeply. When the alarm went off at 6:45 I thought "You've got to be fucking kidding me"... but I managed to wake up and Aaron came down to work with me and fixed my car. I think I still need to replace the battery contacts, but at least now I have power once again. Hopefully the contacts will be replaced tomorrow.

I forgot to mention, that on Sunday when we were grocery shopping, we were goofing around and being all 'couplish' in the frozen food aisle. I was looking for vegetable pot pies (do they even make those anymore? everything has MEAT in it!) and the door to the cooler was all fogged up so Aaron wrote 'I love U' and I grinned and gave him a kiss and we moved down the aisle. A minute or so later an older lady tapped Aaron on the arm and (I was peering into the cooler, looking for vegetarian foods) said "You two have IT. Don't lose it." she smiled and walked away. We thought that was cool, and kinda funny... because you never realize people are watching you you know?

SO...... in news that will make my mother dance for joy... and make my Uncle Gary gloat, I have been kicking around the idea of eating meat again. I haven't made any decisions yet... and am hesitant for a few reasons. I am petrified at the thought of gaining weight... this is something I'm trying to work on... I stopped eating meat so I could not eat fast food or any other kind of fatty restaurant food easily, as a means to lose weight. That and any easy to make dishes... basically I wanted to only eat vegetables and fruits... a method that worked for me. I have NEVER been a big fan of red meat, and only ate beef in sauces or when we'd stop at mcdonalds or other fast food restaurants anyway. I miss chicken and turkey... and I know that eating meat is not the key to gaining weight. I know it's about lifestyle and my lifestyle now is A lot different now than when I weighed 260lbs... I am more active, and more conscious of what I put into my body. I also don't eat a shitload of ice cream and candy and other sweets on a daily basis... ok, I have an ice cream cone every night after dinner... but eating a low fat ice cream cone... a SMALL one at that does not compare with eating an entire container of Ben and Jerry's Everything But the... Ice cream in one sitting... as I used to do most friday and Saturday nights. Plus I like the idea of getting more protein into my diet... and think eating some grilled chicken with a salad for dinner is better than eating a big salad... protein to counteract the carbs is what I keep hearing is good. I don't know... I'm going to try and read up on it and see if that's what I truly want to do. I just don't want to give myself the license to start eating fast food again... which is actually kind of dumb, because I didn't eat a lot of fast food before really... I just led an incredibly unhealthy lifestyle in general. I am just trying to overcome this irrational fucking fear of waking up one morning to find that I've gained back all of this weight. I know that it's not going to happen as long as I stay in control... but it's scary. Food is scary. I don't think obsessing this much is healthy... but I fear the day I don't is the day I get sucked back into not giving a shit anymore about nutrition.... I just want to be thin and feel better about myself... but sometimes I wonder if I will ever feel better... if it's an unattainable goal simply because I allow myself to obsess.

I read an interview Carnie Wilson gave like a couple years ago... and in it she said something like when she lost the weight she started smoking pot and retreating within herself because she didn't know how to handle the attention and pressure. I remember thinking "what a load of bullshit. If I lost that kind of weight and looked as good as she does I'd be out kicking up my heels and celebrating." I could not fathom that shrinking in any way would still leave anyone with doubts... here I am. I am half the size (used to be a 24, am now a comfortable 12) I was, and am probably harder on myself now than I ever was at 24. I think about my stomach constantly... am convinced it's grown after not being at the gym for a week, even though I've kept up for the most part on my eating plan... though on the weekends I am more lenient, I don't go buck wild. I critique every inch of myself in the mirror when I get dressed for work, am never satisfied that my stomach is sucked in enough... despise the way it pooches out, and the flabby inner thighs... I work my ass off at the gym, and can't seem to budge most of the time... though I seem to lose inches I have a hell of a time losing poundage. I go through times when I actually hate my image and myself...and then I have to take a step back and I am disgusted by my thoughts... would I think anything less of any one of my friends or family if they lost or gained weight? would it matter to me if their stomach pooched a bit? Does that lessen their value to me as a person at all? HELL NO. so why do I convince myself that my weight should validate me in any way as a person? It shouldn't... at all. I know that. But then for one second I envision weighing 260 lbs and the cycle starts again. I guess it's good that I recognize it, but changing it is proving to be hard as hell. I am trying... but it's difficult. I am turning into something I hate... someone who pushes their insecurities onto everyone around them... obsessing vocally about my weight as a way to either solicit advice or reassurance that my place in the lives of those around me does not change just because I feel I am failing in the weight loss department. I realize the initial weight loss was a victory in itself. Everyone marvels at how different I look now... I marvel at how different I look now... but I can't help to want more. To want a flat stomach and visible collarbones. I want to shop at Target and Walmart and Old Navy and not wear a xxl top... or even an xl top... I USED to wear an xxl top... why should I still wear one? I have lost over 11 inches on my chest and over 10 on my stomach... it just doesn't seem fair. Of course I fail to remember sometimes that at 260lbs I wore old navy MEN'S shirts... and 3x shirts at target...and walmart...well forget about it. Anyway... pardon the obsessive tone and the overall rant here... I just needed to get it out.



I came home the other day to this... I knew one of the cats must have been up to something, but had no idea what. so I turned the rug back to see what the deal was, bracing myself for kitty poo or vomit...




A Q-tip. I knew Asa had 'buried his kill'... he loves q-tips and will play for hours on end with them if I let him. He also has to bury anything and everything. If I give him kitty treats on the floor, sometimes he'll eat some and leave a few then go through the motions of pretending to rake the carpet, burying his food. Once he dragged a remote control from somewhere and got it over his food dish perfectly. and they say cats are dumb. I'll vouch that they're wierd... but not dumb.




Ben loves to perch on this speaker and if I make growling sounds and walk towards him clawing at the air in sort of a Frankenstein-esque stance he hunkers down like this; ready to attack. Sometimes if I get my hand close enough he'll bite, softly though, not hard. Meanwhile his ears go flat and his tail swishes all over the place. What a geek! (him not I... scaring your cat is normal... really it is.) If I do the same thing to Asa, his eyes get real big and for a second you think he's going to make a run for it, then he just falls over and wants his belly rubbed. His weapon of choice is his charm. :-)



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Monday, August 11, 2003

CAMP TRIP...NOT SO MUCH

So we get to our camp site on Friday, and begin to set up the tent... withing about 3 minutes the bugs are landing on us. I am a hysterical bug phobic... I freak out... no... FREAK OUT when bugs touch me. I have gotten better in the last few years, but after we were there a few minutes I was walking around with a concerned look on my face. Arms crossed and Lori says "You're already disgusted aren't you?" I kind of laughed and nodded... then I notified her that she had a mosquito on her forehead. "Awww... man!" was her reply. Yep... she got a bug bite before we were even there long enough to lay down roots. Out came the bug spray ... and overindulgence of said deet products began. We got everything set up, including the chairs. We weren't allowed campfires, as there is a burn ban right now. So we sat down I with my book, Lori with the gameboy and Aaron with his Sega Game Gear. We all did our own thing for a while... ate some junk food, (Dorito's Guacamole Chips kick ass!) complained about not bringing enough food... actually we just packed a minimal amount of shitty food... there was plenty, just not enough chocolate and stuff... which was the plan anyway, but I digress... then the battleship wars began. We always bring the game battleship when we go camping... I used to be the undisputed queen of battleship. Apparently my title has been stolen by my ingrate sister. I won one game out of four... she beat me twice and Aaron beat me once. Man.

Our camping comrades hadn't shown up by 9pm and we figured they would probably be showing up the next morning... even though we were kind of counting on them showing up that night. So we bellyached about food a little more and giggled and listened to music via the stereo in the truck. Around 9:30 we were sitting around when the very distinct, very familiar sound wafted into our campsite. The sound of a coyote's howl... it didn't even alarm me a little bit... probably because I've always heard it on tv or whatever... it never occurred to me that there might be dangerous animals out where we were. Aaron said "ooh, did you hear that?" Then it happened again and my sister began to quietly freak out, which in turn caused me to start to freak out. The coyote wasn't within a 10 foot range of us or anything... but it was way too close for comfort. Aaron pointed out that we didn't have much to defend ourselves with if we were confronted by anything... I pointed out that if we had a campfire or more people there it would be better, because the more activity the more likely we were to be left alone. To make a long story short we packed the hell up and came home. It sucked because we wanted to camp... but safely. So we sang at the top of our lungs to Foreigner's 'Jukebox Hero' which Lori and I have decided is the best song ever. When we got home Aaron took Lori home and I put most of the camping stuff away... as soon as Aaron walked back through the door we finished putting the gear in storage and promptly went to bed.

We woke up saturday and decided to go see a movie. We saw Bad Boys 2... that's one long fucking movie. that's one gory fucking movie. It was ok... I like the theme song ... shake ya tail feathers or some shit... then mom and I went to some bookstores and Petsmart while Aaron went to work for a few hours. I came home and cleaned up the apartment a little bit and when Aaron came home we went to Walmart for a few odds and ends. When we got home he put in the movie 'Final Destination 2' which didn't sit well with me... I tried to watch it, but death and scary shit... no thank you. About halfway through I noticed Ben batting at something on the wall by the screen door. IT WAS A BIG FUCKING SPIDER. I'm talking big like... you would feel like you were squishing a baby bird or something comparable in size. I screamed "NO BEN!!!" I did not want him freaking the spider out, sending it running in mine and Aaron's direction. Aaron was quite taken aback by the size of the thing too... we both danced around the living room trying to figure out how to get rid of it. I usually wad up paper towels and squish and wipe and be done with it... but that was not happening with this one. We pulled the blinds away from it and I grabbed the cats and locked them in the bedroom... finally we were able to get close enough to move the screen door and Aaron armed with a broom was ready to sweep the little fucker outside. (this is after he had to tell me to calm down because I was stressing him out :-P) It was funny in retrospect, but at the time we were in a panic... at least I was. He swept once and the thing resisted and ran towards us, which prompted me to scream for all I was worth and that kickstarted Aaron's reflexes and with a stronger sweep the nasty little bugger was outside. We were totally and utterly grossed out. I still think... or rather hope that that thing snuck in our stuff from the 4 hour camp trip... I hope nothing that gross lives ouside our door. Ugh.

Sunday we did a whole lot of nothing... I ran to the grocery store and we had orange juice, eggs in a frame, and peaches and milk for breakfast. I was craving eggs in a frame and Aaron had never had them... so good. You just butter both sides of a piece of bread, cut out a circle in the middle of the bread (using a juice glass) then put them in the frying pan, crack an egg into the middle of the circle and let them fry. Flip once and serve. You also fry up the center circles for extra dipping in the yolk... damn, I want one now. I peeled and cut up the peach and poured milk and sugar over it in a sundae cup... my grandma used to give us that in the summer time when I was little. Aaron didn't like it, but it was divine to me. Though the peach could have been a little more ripe.

Aaron spent much of the morning watching "cool car shows" I dozed on the couch for a bit, perused the Sunday ads and travel section, took a bubble bath and then we went grocery shopping. We came home I laid down to take a nap... ended up turning on the show "For Better or Worse" on Tlc... and got stressed out, thus scrapping any chance of a nap. That show... the bride and groom relinquish any and all planning of their wedding to a team made up of friends and family... and have to be happy with however it turns out. RARELY does anyone take the bride's taste into concern when it comes to her gown and watching this poor girls mom and mother in law buy her the exact opposite gown of what she wanted and being so tickled about making her into a princess.. when she really wanted something elegant and simple and not poofy and princesslike... made my blood boil. IT'S THEIR WEDDING... DO WHAT THEY WOULD WANT TO DO... NOT WHAT YOU WOULD WANT. Arg. Then I realized if you are stupid enough to relinquish all the power in that situation to your family you pretty much deserve whatever crap they pick out.

Aaron's brother and sister came over last night... which sent us into a whirlwind of vacuuming and bathroom cleaning... because I am my mother apparently and no one can see my house a tad bit messy let alone unvacuumed. We ate dinner and watched "True Hollywood Story" Jenna Jameson on E! while we waited for them to arrive. We had a discussion... Aaron and I... because Jenna Jameson... she's a porn star for those of you not in the know... anyway she apparently wants kids but doesn't know exactly how she'll explain to them her career choices. Not that she's ashamed you know, because she's so proud of herself and the empire she's built... whatever dude. I yelled at the tv "Don't be a porn star then, and you won't have to freakin worry about it! why do something you wouldn't want your kids to do?" So Aaron kind of laughs as he always does when I yell at the television, and says "so if you were a porn star you'd want your kids to follow in your footsteps?" I smiled and said "that's exactly why I'm not a porn star (yeah that and I'm not a whore) so I don't have to worry about it... do I want my kids to grow up and be a receptionist? hmm... not really, just because it's not the best job out there, and doesn't exactly thrill me to the core... but if that's the path they choose I'm ok with it... it's a respectable job. Not like getting... well I won't say what I said because it's gross, but I think you get my drift.



Aaron and Lori duke it out for the battleship championship title.




Before we heard the somber yowl...




Singing our lungs out to the best song ever... Jukebox Hero by Foreigner




This picture is on the front too, but it cracks me up so I thought I'd put it here as well... this is Lori after she heard the coyote howling.... she's going to beat it with a stick if need be.



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Friday, August 08, 2003

I WISH I BELIEVED IN THE SNOOZE ALARM

I get to lay around and do whatever the hell I want this weekend. YAY! We are going camping, and for me that means naps in the sunshine, in the tent and whenever I frickin feel like it. I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed at 3 this morning, after going to bed around midnight. I fell back asleep and then woke up at 645 wishing I had another 4 hours to devote to sleep time. Oh well.

So yesterday... I ended up taking my lunch break an hour and a half after I came in... it was just easier than having my sister run all over the greater Seattle area, while she still needed to be home at a decent time so she could get ready for work. I went over and picked up Aaron in West Seattle from the dentist, complete with a mouth full of gauze. My poor sweetie. From there we went to his truck which was still parked on the freeway, to see if the truck had the receipt for the tire in it. The tire I had dropped off at Discount Tire was completely damaged... they wouldn't give it back to us, because they could be held liabel if there was a blowout. The receipt wasn't in the truck so we jetted home to see if it was there. It wasn't. We went back up to Discount Tire and they gave us a loaner to use while we waited for the new tire to arrive from Arizona. (Next week sometime) Then we went back down to the freeway and changed the tire. I got back to work and was pleased to note that I'd been gone an hour and 15 minutes. Not too shabby! Aaron went home to rest and take some pain meds (yay for vicodin!) When I got off work last night, we went to his uncle's work and got a new spare tire. Then we hit the grocery store and went home where I refused to let Aaron help me, I did 3 loads of laundry, made two batches of muffins, packed clothes and toiletries for camping, got together the rest of the camping gear including blankets and towels. I made a list of things for him to remember, emailed the camping directions and got some paperwork done for my sister. All in all a VERY productive night.

FRIDAY FIVE

1. What's the last place you traveled to, outside your own home state/country?
Aaron and I went to Newport, Oregon right after the New Year for a couple days.

2. What's the most bizarre/unusual thing that's ever happened to you while traveling?
Probably when I went to see a psychic in Vegas... she hit the nail on the head so to speak. Either that or when I was 19 and we went to Puerta Vallarta and this 60 year old french dude took a shine to me... "Allison Love, you look like you got too much sun today love!" wierdo.

3. If you could take off to anywhere, money and time being no object, where would you go?
I'd spend a few months in Europe... going at my own pace... seeing everything there is to see.

4. Do you prefer traveling by plane, train or car?
Depends on where I'm going.... If I'm going to a neighboring state.. car all the way... mexico? I'll fly thanks.

5. What's the next place on your list to visit?
that's a secret.




Because what's funnier than a cat with a bra on it's head? Hell I don't know... ofoto is being a dick right now, so this is what you get. :-)


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Thursday, August 07, 2003

THE GODS MUST BE ANGRY

So, Aaron got a flat tire on the way to work yesterday. He put the spare on, got to work and all was fine. I went shopping for some camping stuff for this weekend, and then also had to pick up some soft foods as he is having two wisdom teeth pulled first thing this morning. I go home, take two Tylenol PM's... I have had a heck of a time sleeping lately, and finally decided to try taking a sleep aid. Go figure. I get a call shortly after 11 or so... it was Aaron. He was stuck on the freeway; his spare went flat. I was out of it as I was drugged and half asleep. I couldn't quite make sense of what he was saying and felt like I was laboring just trying to talk. Luckily his boss was able to pick him up... I was scared to get behind the wheel in my stupor. I vaguely remember him coming home; but was unable to relax after that phone call. Even though I was in a haze, I was worried about the truck... the fact that it was sitting out on the freeway...etc. etc. Arg.

So this morning I took the tire to Discount Tires, and dropped it off. The plan is that my sister will drop Aaron off at the dentist, go pick up the tire, then go pick Aaron up (minus two of his wisdom teeth) and then she will drive him to his truck and he'll put the repaired tire on it. I am worried about him... and this whole plan. It's a shitty thing to have teeth pulled in general, let alone to have to change a tire afterwards... hopefully all will be ok; I told them to call if they need me for anything.

So I have to pack tonight for camping, and I am leaving work early tommorrow so we can head out into the wilderness and 'rough it'. I am looking forward to it though. I am bringing some books and will be content to just curl up with them and read for a while... and nap an just be lazy. :-)



Oh! Stupid Human, How I Loathe Thee...




I love this picture... incidently, it's been 8 months today!



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Wednesday, August 06, 2003

CAUSE I'M A FREAK LIKE THAT

Fuck a duck. I'm tired as hell. I'm feeling fat as hell... I can't make it to the gym this week; I am so freakin busy with everything else... namely getting everything together for camping on friday, as well as other stuff that has come up... and I'm not sleeping well at all. I have no energy and just want to go home and lay down. I am still sticking to my eating regimen... strict as ever, though we went out to dinner last night for mom's birthday, and you know what I ate that white clam sauce spaghetti and garlic bread, and scoop of spumoni (for dessert) and I am glad I did. I need to quit freaking out over caloric intake... I do NOT wish to become one of those girls. I fear I already have.

Sidenote, four of us (my aunt Ruth came into town to surprise my mom on her birthday... it worked!) went out to eat at the Old Spaghetti Factory for said birthday dinner. We had an appetizer, we each had an entree which all come with salad, fresh sourdough bread and butter (they give you a loaf at the table) and then follow up with dessert... a scoop of ice cream. We all had a beverage... sodas and an iced tea. The total? 40.17. Forty frickin bucks. How awesome is that? You can't beat those prices, and the food is absolutely out of this world. They even sang Happy Birthday to my mom... which she really didn't enjoy. Not only that, she was quite perturbed that I told the waitress how old she was. I was just being helpful!

In other birthday news, a certain cat... turned 7 on Sunday and I forgot. You know how you can tell I have a social life now? Or rather a boyfriend now? I forgot my cat's birthday. Heh. Sad but true. I never forgot it in the past 6 years... would celebrate by making him wear a birthday hat and would take his picture in front of a can of tuna with a candle in it. Yeah... I was single for 8 years can you believe it?! Luckily Aaron thinks stuff like that is funny... probably because I haven't actually done anything like that since I met him... I've been too afraid he'll run screaming in the other direction. :-) We've discussed future pets... like way in the future at this point. YEARS... and if we ever get a girl cat how funny it would be to name her Brenda. I am giggling just thinking about it... or Carla... but now I'm thinking Laverne would be better than Carla. But it'll be a long time before we get another cat.. two is enough. Sometimes too much. Anyhoo, I'm outta here. How do you like the new layout? I'll be adding more to the side bar too; still tinkering with the damn template.



I told you... imagine there's a 7 in place of the five though, to make it accurate to this year.




Camryn gives Evan a piece of her mind at my mom's birthday party last weekend.




Awwwww




And they called it puppy love...


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Tuesday, August 05, 2003

HOT DAMN!

Hot damn I figured it out! That little sidebar of links right there... she's a bitch to maintain... especially when you get creative in your html tags... oy, now I must do something with the tangerine color scheme...

also, would like to give a shoutout to my new homegirl Marta, the asst. Manager of the Wendy's in Burien at five corners... she gave me a chinese mandarin salad sans chicken... ahhh, the good life. I just about choked though when I noticed the fat grammage for the dressing... 19 grams! Holy shit!
OH BLOGGER, HOW I LOATHE THEE

I am trying to change the layout on this bad boy, and blogger is oh so not fucking helpful. Learning html code was easier than navigating through their templates. Arg. Hang with me for today; I will be spending a lot of time on this tonight.

Monday, August 04, 2003

*INSERT BIG ASS YAWN HERE*

Fuck I'm tired. What a long weekend. Friday night, Lori and I went to Costco and Fred Meyers to buy food and stuff for my mom's 50th birthday party on Saturday. Then I made dinner for Ash, and us. We chilled out watching 'How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" and just had a nice time. The next morning, Aaron and I picked up the decorations for the party at Party City and then met up at Karen and Uncle Gary's house to decorate for the party. We had a lovely day, a nice turnout, and my mom seemed to enjoy herself which is what's important anyway. I was beat by 8pm. We were going to go out and sing karaoke that night, but decided at the last minute to just chill at home and have a few beers and play 'Friends Trivia'. We picked up some Widmer Beer... the blonde and the hefeweizen ( pronounced heef-uh-weezen don't you know) and guess what... IT TASTES LIKE ASS! Mummified moldy ass to be exact. I want my 6 bucks back Rob and Kurt Widmer. And a handwritten apology for ingesting that nastiness.

Ashley left for home (Arizona) on Sunday. We hung out a few times while she was in town, and it was a lot of fun. I was really happy she got to meet Aaron, and they seemed to get along swimmingly. Heh. I said swimmingly. I had a few shots on Saturday night... 'butterballs'... I wanted to make buttery nipples but we didn't have any irish cream liquer (sp?) so I went to this site which is the coolest ever because you can punch in what ingredients you have and it'll come up with drink recipes. So we made butterball shots, which is 3 parts kahlua to 1 part butterschotts. I gotta say, they were pretty good. I had 4 I think, and a beer and 20 minutes later fell asleep on the couch for a while. Hard alcohol usually makes me tired, but I don't usually fall asleep right away. But I was tired.

Further, I never sleep past 830 on a weekend morning; it just doesn't happen. I am usually up by 8. The phone rang around 915 sunday morning and I was dead asleep... and probably could have slept another 2-3 hours. But we had shit to do, so Aaron and I got up and cleaned the apartment before he had to jet off and go to work for a few hours. I was in a foul mood all day... wanted to go see the Blue Angels, but was neither dressed or remotely ready to go down to Lake Washington by the time they were in the air. Watching them on tv was just depressing. Plus I was just so tired and just wanted to lay around the house, but it just wasn't an option yesterday. We are going camping this coming weekend and we needed to go up to the area we are going to camp at and write out the directions for some friends that are meeting us up there on Saturday. I did not feel like going anywhere, but it needed to be done. Aaron's brother and his wife and daughter drove us up there, and our friend Willie followed. There was a road closure on the main road to get to the campsite, so we had to figure out how to go around from the other side... we drove around North Bend forever and a day I swear. I ended up having a good time. I was just ready to go home around 5, but we didn't walk in the door until 10 to 8. I hate busy sunday evenings... I like to approach the coming week in a relaxed and slow manner... chillin at home,doing nothing. But that's ok, I ended up enjoying myself... even though I had to pee so bad at one point I was getting kidney pains. We are going to be camping in the woods... no bathrooms, and when we stopped I just couldn't make myself pee outside. I could not do it. I will do it this weekend..but man, I think because I could hear everyone so close I just got stage fright.

Did you see this article? Who knows if Kobe really did rape that girl... I wasn't there, so I'm not going to speculate. But articles like this certainly are damaging... I mean who knows who the female was... coulda been his wife, daughter, perhaps an employee... could be just a medical thing. Who knows. But I read in another article that medics were called to the house earlier this year... but that report was just as vague. Interesting.



My mom who celebrated a special birthday this weekend (her actual bday is tommorrow), with grandpa and that would be my Aunt Dana on the right.




Me and lori with our cousin Geary... who is Alex P. Keaton in the flesh.


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Friday, August 01, 2003

FEELIN GOOD IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

Man. I feel good today. I am wearing a tee shirt from Old Navy that I've owned since February or some shit. It fit, but always like a glove, and not in a good way. But now it fits ... still almost kinda snug, but since I'm shrinking a teensy tiny bit... it looks like it should. And I curled my hair so I am feeling all sorts of confident.

Dude, Coolio and Lisa Kudrow both turned 40 this week. WTF? Especially Lisa Kudrow... I told Lori about that and she said "God I hope I look like that when I'm 40". I said "Hell, what'd I'd give to look like that at 26!" Amen sister mean.

I wrote this last night:

You know, often times during the day, I’ll begin writing the next day’s journal entry in my head. Often while I’m driving. Then, usually I’ll forget all about it and when it’s time to actually sit down and crank out an entry I draw a blank. But I was just out driving and felt all inspired and happy and “life is good… zip a dee doo dah” esque, and I want to get it down on paper. (As this is not a typical mood for me… while life is generally good and I am in a generally pleasant mood, I am in a SUPER AMAZING FUNTASTIC mood today, so play along.)

I was driving home on my lunch break and got buzzed by two Blue Angels. How fucking cool is that? They were way low and the afterburners were so loud… goosebumps. As a kid, we would always go down to Seward Park at Lake Washington and watch them perform. Before the FAA got all frantic and ‘safety conscious’ about 10 years ago… 10 years… Lord almighty, I feel old. Anyway, before they remapped and re-regulated the flight patterns and policies, they would fly so low above Lake Washington, that once they clipped a tree at the beach we were at. Too cool. When I was younger I had a hard time deciding what my favorite holiday was. Christmas or Seafair? Christmas had presents, and good food, and carols, and presents… and snow and did I mention presents? But Seafair had parades, and street festivals, the pirates and clowns . During seafair you could tour the navy ships and watch the hydros… but best of all you got to see the Blue Angels. Ever since I was a little kid, I remember getting all goosebumpy and inspired feeling when they would go roaring overhead. The excitement that bubbles up inside of you, when the deafening sound of their engines filled up every inch of airspace. It’s just fuckin cool. And like my mom said today “it just doesn’t get any better than them.” A sunny afternoon spent watching the Blue Angels perform… hell yeah. Too bad I had to fucking work!

Anyhoo, I didn't read the previous two paragraphs this morning, so I hope they are grammatically (or whatever) correct... I just don't have time to go over them with a fine tooth comb.

And now for the Friday Five:

1. What time do you wake up on weekday mornings?

About 6:45 am

2. Do you sleep in on the weekends? How late?

I try, but rarely do I make it past 8:00am

3. Aside from waking up, what is the first thing you do in the morning?

I stumble out to the kitchen to get water and wake up for a sec.

4. How long does it take to get ready for your day?

depends... if I'm curling my hair it takes a little longer, but if it's just straight hair, then from shower to clothes to makeup and hair it takes about 45 minutes.

5. When possible, what is your favorite place to go for breakfast?

It used to just be to any coffee stand that sold costco muffins, but since costco quit making chocolate chip caramel muffins, I would have to say that IHOP (International Burrito--yum!) or Starbucks(frappucino and low fat pumpkin bread) is just fine too.

last batch o' pictures...



Me, Lori and Ash




and some embarassing dance pictures... me first




then Lori... this picture kills me




The bride is never exempt from embarassing pictures!




and if I haven't sickened any of you with the many other shots of me and Aaron here's another one. awww ...



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