Monday, June 23, 2003


Man, I wrenched the hell out of my neck this weekend. I think I slept wrong on Saturday night. I hate it when I do that shit. I woke up promptly at 4 this morning in so much pain I was in tears. I hooked up the heating pad and that helped a teeny bit. Of course I didn't fall back asleep until like 6, and my alarm went off at 645 so I was screwed. I had kind of a busy weekend...

Friday night I wanted to surprise Aaron so I went and got my hair done... it is considerably lighter than it was before. Then I ran some errands, and went shopping to the craft store and book store with my mom. I also stopped by my Aunt's new place, as she just moved into our complex, and brought her some brownies to 'welcome her to the neighborhood' :-) She has a two bedroom, two bath; as opposed to our one bedroom, one bath. Man, she has a lot of room up there. It's quite spacious. Aaron called me Friday night about the time he was supposed to be home, he had run out of gas. He was near an exit, so I got my stuff and got in the car; ready to go get him and get some gas for the truck, I was pulling out when he called and said he got it started again and was sitting at a light across the street from a gas station, so he thought he'd be ok. We hang up and I call him back a few minutes later. Apparently the truck died and he had to push it across the street and up to the pump. He was a little winded and probably a lot frustrated. I told him to call me if he broke down or anything and I would come get him. A minute or two later the phone rings, Aaron asks me to see if he left his wallet on the dresser. My poor sweetie, I would have been pissed, but he takes all this stuff in stride. Luckily even though he had left his wallet at home, he had some cash on him and bought 3 gallons of gas. When he got home we hung out for a while, talking and I cleaned the fish bowl. He never noticed my hair. :-( In his defense he had a tough night... but it really is a lot lighter than it was. :-) oh well, I told him next time I won't 'surprise' him, and thus will alleviate the pressure for him to notice little shit like that, and he won't feel bad, and I won't feel bad for making him feel bad. Anyway, enough of that...

Saturday we got up entirely too early to go set up for a garage sale at my cousin's house. We ended up getting rained out and went to Walmart around 3 or so. We got home around 5, I was so freakin tired my eyes were watering. I slept for about a half hour and then got the worst stomachache ever. We were supposed to go out that night for some karaoke and cocktails but I knew there was no way I would survive it, when at 8pm I was still in the throes of the stomach ache and so tired I wanted to cry. We cancelled our plans, and I passed out. When I woke up at 11 or so, I felt a lot better stomachwise, and was still exhausted so I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and some chips and went back to bed. I woke up bright and early on Sunday, and we went back to the garage sale. I think we pulled in a total of like 30 bucks... yeah it was so fucking worth our time. We did our grocery shopping last night, then cleaned the house and took naps. We watched a movie and ate dinner and I was in bed asleep before 10pm. That's awesome.

I am having issues today... I feel like a fat fucking hog and I am hating every inch of myself and my skin as we speak. I haven't been to the gym since last wednesday (due to some stomach problems last week) and though I haven't gone crazy eating wise or anything... I am acutely aware of every inch of extra me there is... I am so tired of hating the way I look... like REALLY HATING the way I look. I just hate it. And now my neck is killing me, just sitting here it's killing me and there is no way going to the gym tonight is going to be possible... I hate the panicky feeling I get at the thought of gaining any weight or eating something with more than 10 calories, and more than 1 gram of fat... I go to the grocery store racking my brain to find that perfect food that tastes good, has zero calories and zero fat... hmmm... the only thing that has fit that description so far is diet cherry coke...and that shit ain't filling. I've tried to embrace hunger but you know I don't have the will to starve. I just don't. I could never be anorexic.. and no I'm not aspiring to be, I'm just trying to curb my appetite a bit... but I could never just not eat... I'm too weak when it comes to that. Arg. Seriously it's probably just pms, and I'll feel all fine tomorrow. but for today... HELL.

Well, after that downer of a paragraph let me leave you with some cute pics...


I talk about the cats a lot, but those are our fish. Bill and Hillary. Hillary is on the top; she's more gray in color and that would be Bill there on the bottom.


King Bean sleeps wherever the fuck he wants to, and don't you forget it.


Seriously though, what is his fascination with drawers? My sleeping guys...


He will catch some squirrels some day... he just knows it.

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