Monday, March 17, 2003


It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day to say you would, won't you be mine... won'tyou be mine... ok; enough. I am seriously tired today. So tired. I was in some serious damn pain last night; wouldn't you know it, the tooth the dentist went in to 'numb' until I can come in on the first of April so he can do an all out root canal... is bothering me. It was fine until he went rooting around in there with metal stuff and tools that go zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... it wasn't bothering me at all, and now I can't bite down on that side without having to be peeled off the ceiling. Last night it just hurt to exist, so I took a couple of pain pills, and that was all she wrote. I was out like a light, and woke up in the 'vicoden' fog this morning. You know the one where you feel like you are waking up from a long winter's nap, and for some reason want to cry, yet are so hungry you would eat the ass out of a rag doll? Yeah... that was me this morning.

I ate some fat free toast and calorie/fat free butter (I can't believe it's not butter spray), and then used Smucker's light, sugar free/fat free jam... 10 cals per tblspoon, no fat or anything else... the label boasts 10 cals and 5 grams of carbs and that is it. I also ate a banana, and now an hour and a half later and starving. I am hoping that's a sign my metabolism is speeding up. I have also already drank one liter of water... and am about a third of the way down on my second one. I was hoping to drop a cool 10-15 lbs before my birthday (4-11) but, I just don't think that's going to happen. Maybe a good 5-7lbs, but we'll see. I was supposed to be on the cabbage soup diet ... but after attempting it yesterday, the first day being all the fruit you can eat... I was so weak by 2pm, I laid down and slept till about 4, and was a hungry, mean grouch to poor Aaron. We got to my house around 5, and I was shaky and nauseated and I made the executive decision that I couldn't do it. I was so hungry, despite the canteloupe, apples and oranges I had consumed. I am just going to do what worked for me last year. Ideally, I need to peel off another 40-50 lbs if I want to be perfect height and weight... I think I would be happy losing another 20-30lbs... but we'll see. I will stop when I feel good about myself... when the self loathing has stopped and I have visible collarbones. Then I'll be happy. hmmm... me... neurotic much?

One of my coworkers is getting a cold. He just got back from Vegas last week... I grilled him about the possibility of him having that flu/pneumonia that people who have traveled by airplane recently are getting. He said that it was only people coming from the East... I hope he's right. To be safe I've already popped two once daily's, and a vitamin c. I am NOT getting sick again. Let the lysol spraying commence.

I had an awesome weekend. Self indulgent to say the least. Saturday Aaron and I took some of his stuff to my storage, in preperation for moving out (HOW EXCITING!) Though we still don't have a date set for that, though I anticipate it will be before the fourth of July. Then we went and looked at several furniture stores to get an idea of what kind of prices to expect and what kind of stuff we like. We followed that up with an early dinner at Red Robin, where I ran into an old friend from high school, that was way cool; haven't seen her in about a year... then we went and rented a few movies and spend the evening and the whole day Sunday just chillin out, watching movies and lounging around in our jammies. It was great. I love lazy weekends.. and they just don't happen often enough. you know?

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