Thursday, March 13, 2003

FINALS SUCK ASS

I haven't been writing because it's finals time, and like the title says, it sucks ass. But it's a necessary ass sucking, because these are the first of many I will be taking. And that REALLY sucks ass.

I have been in one of my "I'm fat and don't deserve food" moods lately. Ask Aaron, I've been a real peach in the mornings. I can't find a coat that I own, that I like, and won't wear a sweatshirt because I look "like a fat fucking hog" in them, (despite that he says he likes me in sweatshirts) and I won't wear my coat because I look like "two ton tess". He talks about me buying clothes when it gets warmer, to which I reply that I don't deserve clothes, not until I lose some "goddam weight". Poor Aaron...writing this down I see that I am being COMPLETELY high maintenance... something I thought I would never be... but I swear, sometimes I look in the mirror, and am impressed at how far I've come... and other times I am so disgusted I want to kick my own ass for not being as strict as I used to be. I know once it gets nicer out (especially) that I'll be more likely to get my ass up and go back to the gym... it's just hard. With school, and work, and I'm so tired, and I am still getting back to normal after the January of disease... it's been a real tough thing to get back to. But I will... I want a waist, and I want to be in smaller pants and tops. I am not talking size 5 here people... I just want to feel good about myself. That's all.

Enough about that. Have I mentioned I have the best boyfriend in the world? And no, I'm not sucking up; he's awesome. That's the only point I'm making here.

I went down and filled out my rehire packet for safeco field today... am pretty excited about that. You gotta love a job where serving fries pays more than a 'professional' job. I love it. It looks like I am with a lot of people I know already, and that makes me very happy. Anyhoo, gotta get back to the studying, talk to y'all later...

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