Friday, March 23, 2001

Ok, spent most of today playing tetris and talking on the phone... listening to music. for some reason; I am just not getting motivated to keep writing. I decided to set a goal for tommorrow; either finish my speech or write 3 more pages for the book... I need to finish the speech so I can start practicing. One thing that is definitely making the whole 'process' more difficult, is rehashing and in effect reliving this whole experience thus far... it's so hard. Today I was listening to a cd of songs that remind me of last summer; and there is one song in particular; that I totally identify with in regards to my dad getting sick. The song is Wonderful by Everclear; and though it's about a child's perspective of his parents divorce... the general message is applicable to any trials and tribulations one can face. I'll end this entry with the lyrics from the song... I'm going to try and find a way to incorporate them into the book eventually.

wonderful by everclear
I close my eyes when I get too sad
I think thoughts that i know are bad
close my eyes and I count to ten
hope it's over when I open them
I want the things that I had before
like a star wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
make everything be wonderful again
I hold my mom and I hold my dad
we'll figure out why they get so mad
I hear them scream, I hear them fight
and say bad words that make me want to cry
I close my eyes when I go to bed at night
dream of angels that make me smile
I feel better when I hear them say
Everything will be wonderful some day
promises mean everything when you're little,
and the world's so big
I just don't understand how
you can smile with all those tears in your eyes
tell me everything is wonderful now
please don't tell me everything is wonderful now
I go to school and I run and play
I tell the kids that it's all ok
I laugh a lot so my friends won't know
when the bell rings I just don't wanna go
I go to my room and I close my eyes
I make believe that I have a new life
I don't believe you when you say
everything will be wonderful some day
promises mean everything when you're little,
and the world is so big
I just don't understand how
you can smile with all those tears in your eyes
when you tell me everything is wonderful now
I don't want to hear youtell me everything is wonderful now
no, I don't want to hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
I don't want to hear you say, that I will understand some day
I don't hear you say you both have grown in a different way
I don't want to meet your friends, I don't want to start over again
I just want my life to be the same just like it used to be,
somedays I hate everything, i hate everything,
i hate everything everyone and everything
please don't tell me everything is wonderful now
please don't tell me everything is wonderful now
please don't tell me everything is wonderful now
I don't want to hear you tell me everythign is wonderful now
please don't tell me everything is wonderful now
ohhh yeah yeah everything is wonderful now
everything is wonderful now

No comments:

Post a Comment

Leave a Comment